6 tips when working with an unreliable colleague
11 June 2014
Read by 2353 persons
Not being able to count on a colleague is exhausting on a daily basis. Taking it upon yourself is counterproductive. How can you constructively address the problem?
Your colleague systematically arrives late to client meetings. He does not give you the necessary information in time for you to complete your presentation. He forgets the work meetings scheduled to prepare the report you have to co-write... Irritating situations every day. Especially since, without hierarchical power over him, it is difficult for you to use authority to make him change.
Don't get angry
"A colleague who lacks reliability tries to find out how far he can go, like a child looking for limits", says Alexandre Dubarry (1), management consultant and trainer. "He puts us in the position of a parent, which we are not, and this can quickly become unbearable." The risk: getting angry and harming the relationship, with the consequences that one can imagine for the team, on a daily basis. "Don't act in anger. Wait until you have regained your composure and carefully prepare what you have to say", advises the consultant.
Check the clarity of the organization
Before launching your action plan, are you sure that the dysfunctions are not due to a lack of clarity in the organization of work? "How many times have I heard in companies: 'But I thought he knew he had to do it!'", points out Alexandre Dubarry. Lack of reliability is often the result of a lack of structure and rules. It is therefore essential to ensure that everyone is aware of what is expected of them. "This applies to the manager who supervises, but also between colleagues", emphasizes the consultant. You can thus have your colleague confirm that he has noted that he must send you the updated database by a certain date.
Understand why he is not reliable
The important thing is to know why this person is causing you such regular difficulties. Are you the only one to suffer from his lack of reliability? There is probably some unresolved past issue between you. Do you hold a position he wanted to obtain? On your side, is your attitude towards him irreproachable?
Has your colleague always lacked reliability or is this a recent phenomenon? In this case, he is probably going through a difficult period on a personal level, overwhelmed by his problems, he is unable to manage everything. Are you ready to compensate for his shortcomings until he recovers? In this case, you can suggest a new organization of work over a defined period with him. But perhaps your colleague is simply careless and does not realize the consequences of his behavior. All the more reason to talk to him and address the issue.
Frankly address the problem
Adopt the rules of assertive communication: remain calm, state facts without judging the person, express your feelings, suggest working together to find a constructive solution.
Choose a calm time and place for the meeting, which should not take place in front of the whole team. Clearly and calmly state facts ("you didn't send me the price study you were supposed to give me yesterday") without judging the person ("you're really pushing it to do this to me"). Clearly explain how it bothers you: "I promised to send X the quote this morning and I couldn't because I didn't have the study. I don't like not keeping my commitments to a client." You are talking about yourself, about your feelings... and that is irrefutable! Then clearly express your need: I need you to send me the documents on the day they were planned. It is important for me to feel that I can count on you, that we are working as a team."
Look for an alternative solution
"How can we prevent these incidents from happening again?" Ask the question in a way that involves the person in problem-solving and makes them responsible. They will be more inclined to respect rules that they have helped to set. "Appealing to the other person's freedom, who thus voluntarily commits to a task, is constructive and effective", concludes Alexandre Dubarry.
Alert your manager
Finally, if the problems persist, and if their shortcomings put you in difficulty, contact the team manager, who must be alerted to the dysfunctions. At least you will have first tried to solve the problem yourself and the risk will be less that the person will see it as denunciation or betrayal. Without directly blaming the person in question, suggest a meeting to reconsider the organization, highlighting the recent difficulties encountered. It will be up to him to reframe and investigate the issue with the colleague to find solutions.
(1) Author of "How to tell a colleague that he smells bad under the arms: the keys to resolving emotional conflicts in the company", Leduc Editions.
Marie-Pierre Nogues-Ledru.
Lexpress.fr
Posted online on June 11, 2014.
Your colleague systematically arrives late to client meetings. He does not give you the necessary information in time for you to complete your presentation. He forgets the work meetings scheduled to prepare the report you have to co-write... Irritating situations every day. Especially since, without hierarchical power over him, it is difficult for you to use authority to make him change.
Don't get angry
"A colleague who lacks reliability tries to find out how far he can go, like a child looking for limits", says Alexandre Dubarry (1), management consultant and trainer. "He puts us in the position of a parent, which we are not, and this can quickly become unbearable." The risk: getting angry and harming the relationship, with the consequences that one can imagine for the team, on a daily basis. "Don't act in anger. Wait until you have regained your composure and carefully prepare what you have to say", advises the consultant.
Check the clarity of the organization
Before launching your action plan, are you sure that the dysfunctions are not due to a lack of clarity in the organization of work? "How many times have I heard in companies: 'But I thought he knew he had to do it!'", points out Alexandre Dubarry. Lack of reliability is often the result of a lack of structure and rules. It is therefore essential to ensure that everyone is aware of what is expected of them. "This applies to the manager who supervises, but also between colleagues", emphasizes the consultant. You can thus have your colleague confirm that he has noted that he must send you the updated database by a certain date.
Understand why he is not reliable
The important thing is to know why this person is causing you such regular difficulties. Are you the only one to suffer from his lack of reliability? There is probably some unresolved past issue between you. Do you hold a position he wanted to obtain? On your side, is your attitude towards him irreproachable?
Has your colleague always lacked reliability or is this a recent phenomenon? In this case, he is probably going through a difficult period on a personal level, overwhelmed by his problems, he is unable to manage everything. Are you ready to compensate for his shortcomings until he recovers? In this case, you can suggest a new organization of work over a defined period with him. But perhaps your colleague is simply careless and does not realize the consequences of his behavior. All the more reason to talk to him and address the issue.
Frankly address the problem
Adopt the rules of assertive communication: remain calm, state facts without judging the person, express your feelings, suggest working together to find a constructive solution.
Choose a calm time and place for the meeting, which should not take place in front of the whole team. Clearly and calmly state facts ("you didn't send me the price study you were supposed to give me yesterday") without judging the person ("you're really pushing it to do this to me"). Clearly explain how it bothers you: "I promised to send X the quote this morning and I couldn't because I didn't have the study. I don't like not keeping my commitments to a client." You are talking about yourself, about your feelings... and that is irrefutable! Then clearly express your need: I need you to send me the documents on the day they were planned. It is important for me to feel that I can count on you, that we are working as a team."
Look for an alternative solution
"How can we prevent these incidents from happening again?" Ask the question in a way that involves the person in problem-solving and makes them responsible. They will be more inclined to respect rules that they have helped to set. "Appealing to the other person's freedom, who thus voluntarily commits to a task, is constructive and effective", concludes Alexandre Dubarry.
Alert your manager
Finally, if the problems persist, and if their shortcomings put you in difficulty, contact the team manager, who must be alerted to the dysfunctions. At least you will have first tried to solve the problem yourself and the risk will be less that the person will see it as denunciation or betrayal. Without directly blaming the person in question, suggest a meeting to reconsider the organization, highlighting the recent difficulties encountered. It will be up to him to reframe and investigate the issue with the colleague to find solutions.
(1) Author of "How to tell a colleague that he smells bad under the arms: the keys to resolving emotional conflicts in the company", Leduc Editions.
Marie-Pierre Nogues-Ledru.
Lexpress.fr
Posted online on June 11, 2014.
