7 Difficult Personality Types at Work, and Advice for Managing Each One
4 August 2014
Read by 2568 persons
You know, there are all sorts of difficult colleagues to work with. There's the one who likes to publicly point out your small mistakes; there's the one who will report you to the boss to make themselves look good; there's also the one who constantly complains, complaining about everything, all the time, etc.
Do you know how to adapt your behavior to each of them?
I'm going to tell you about 7 types of difficult personalities at work. For each of these types, I'll give you some tips to help you react well and assert yourself:
Dealing with the hypercritical colleague: ask for their opinion...
Among the different categories of difficult colleagues, there is the hypercritical colleague. This is the colleague who has nothing interesting to say or contribute, and who will belittle you to make themselves look good. This is the colleague who will focus on a detail of your work, and who will draw everyone's attention to this slight flaw, even though your overall work is of high quality.
On your side, you are destabilized by this unexpected remark. Especially if you are too demanding of yourself. Manipulators are used to behaving this way. Denigrating your work reassures them: "Their work isn't that good, I could have done better."
So how do you react to this kind of attack? Especially if it takes place in public (since this hypercritical colleague is trying to prove their "superiority" to everyone, at your expense)...
The idea is to shift the attention to the attacker themselves. Indeed, this attacker, even if they want to appear brilliant, generally has no alternative to offer: they criticize what you have done, but have nothing else to suggest. So all you have to do is reply: "What do you suggest instead?"...
Dealing with the backstabber: ask for details...
In the family of difficult colleagues, there is also the backstabber. The backstabber is the one who likes to spread gossip and rumors... This is the one who will rush to see the boss to tell them about a mistake or error you made (sometimes imaginary or exaggerated...).
But often the stories that the backstabber transmits have (by definition) not been verified, and are based on nothing serious (if indeed they are based on anything at all...).
To get out of this situation with this kind of person, simply challenge them by asking them to specify what their conclusions are based on. If you ask them to be precise and concrete, you are challenging them. If you ask them to seriously prove what they are saying, you are exposing them. They then find themselves defenseless in the face of your questions...
Dealing with the inveterate grumbler: enlighten them...
You probably know that we French are often perceived abroad as a nation of grumblers...
So there's a good chance you know at least one grumbler in your professional circle... (if it's not you...). This is the one who complains about everything and everyone. To hear them tell it, everyone doesn't care, everyone does bad work, everyone is stupid. In short, only they are pleasant, competent, and invested; they are the only one doing good work...
Of course, this grumbler lacks objectivity and only pays attention to a certain type of fact: those that reinforce their certainties.
Don't hesitate to challenge (calmly) this type of person. Remind them of the facts they forget to take into account. And keep your distance from these people, because you could quickly be associated with them...
Dealing with the loner: leave them alone...
The office loner is the one who doesn't say hello when you pass them, of course they don't smile and they barely look at you. If you dare to greet them, they grunt in response.
You seem invisible to them, and you wonder what you did to them...
The mistake is precisely to believe that their attitude is related to you. Talk to your colleagues, you'll see that the loner behaves the same way with them...
However, this loner sometimes seems to discover your existence when they come to your desk and greet you... then ask you something... and seem to not know you again the following days...
Their behavior is certainly making you angry. So tell yourself that their day must be sad... and move on...
Dealing with the telepath: don't listen to them...
The telepath is that colleague who loudly claims that they know the boss well, and certainly better than you. So, "THEY KNOW" what the boss wants, they know which ideas they will like, or not. They will therefore discourage you from proposing your idea to the boss, from making such a request, because "THEY KNOW" that the boss will not agree. If they think the idea will please the boss, they suggest you go and talk to them about it for you... since they know the boss well...
Don't fall for it. This "telepath" doesn't care about you. It's just a strategy they use to gain importance and power...
Don't let yourself be fooled by this type of colleague: go see the boss yourself if you have something to say to them, regardless of what the "telepath" might say... and don't let this telepath act as an intermediary, because they might well appropriate your merits, in addition...
Dealing with the reporter: communicate with the boss, objectively and regularly...
In the series of unbearable colleagues, there is also this colleague who threatens to "go talk to the boss." This kind of colleague likes to report you, because they think they're improving themselves by doing so. They think they're making themselves look good because the smaller you seem, the bigger they will seem.
How should you behave when you have this kind of person in your professional environment?
The idea is to go see the boss from time to time to check what has been said to them... If your boss is a good boss, they will not take these gossips into account. But it is possible that your boss is not so wise... and in that case they will have listened to and believed the gossips.
The mistake would be to try to get revenge by reporting gossip about your colleague in turn.
Be more professional:
Keep your boss informed about the good progress of your team projects,
Discuss disagreements with your colleague,
Tell them how you resolved these disagreements...
Why would your boss believe you more than your colleague? Because by following these recommendations, you prove to them that you are more trustworthy...
Dealing with the manipulator: stay true to your ideas...
You may have to deal with several types of manipulators.
Here I will only talk about people who appear charming who engage in emotional blackmail. For example, if you disagree with them, you suffer their anger and you feel like you're losing the great "friendship" they had given you.
The idea of such manipulation is to make you give in to the fear of losing this person's support.
This type of manipulation is built on your fear of being rejected, your fear of not being appreciated, your feeling of dependence on this person, etc.
When faced with such individuals, you must above all remain true to your values, your points of view and not hesitate to express your opinion, even if it is contrary to that of this manipulator.
We've finished our tour. You now know how to behave in the face of these 7 types of difficult personalities: the hypercritical colleague, the backstabber, the inveterate grumbler, the loner, the telepath, the reporter, and the manipulator...
Affirmation-de-soi.info
Posted online August 4, 2014.
Do you know how to adapt your behavior to each of them?
I'm going to tell you about 7 types of difficult personalities at work. For each of these types, I'll give you some tips to help you react well and assert yourself:
Dealing with the hypercritical colleague: ask for their opinion...
Among the different categories of difficult colleagues, there is the hypercritical colleague. This is the colleague who has nothing interesting to say or contribute, and who will belittle you to make themselves look good. This is the colleague who will focus on a detail of your work, and who will draw everyone's attention to this slight flaw, even though your overall work is of high quality.
On your side, you are destabilized by this unexpected remark. Especially if you are too demanding of yourself. Manipulators are used to behaving this way. Denigrating your work reassures them: "Their work isn't that good, I could have done better."
So how do you react to this kind of attack? Especially if it takes place in public (since this hypercritical colleague is trying to prove their "superiority" to everyone, at your expense)...
The idea is to shift the attention to the attacker themselves. Indeed, this attacker, even if they want to appear brilliant, generally has no alternative to offer: they criticize what you have done, but have nothing else to suggest. So all you have to do is reply: "What do you suggest instead?"...
Dealing with the backstabber: ask for details...
In the family of difficult colleagues, there is also the backstabber. The backstabber is the one who likes to spread gossip and rumors... This is the one who will rush to see the boss to tell them about a mistake or error you made (sometimes imaginary or exaggerated...).
But often the stories that the backstabber transmits have (by definition) not been verified, and are based on nothing serious (if indeed they are based on anything at all...).
To get out of this situation with this kind of person, simply challenge them by asking them to specify what their conclusions are based on. If you ask them to be precise and concrete, you are challenging them. If you ask them to seriously prove what they are saying, you are exposing them. They then find themselves defenseless in the face of your questions...
Dealing with the inveterate grumbler: enlighten them...
You probably know that we French are often perceived abroad as a nation of grumblers...
So there's a good chance you know at least one grumbler in your professional circle... (if it's not you...). This is the one who complains about everything and everyone. To hear them tell it, everyone doesn't care, everyone does bad work, everyone is stupid. In short, only they are pleasant, competent, and invested; they are the only one doing good work...
Of course, this grumbler lacks objectivity and only pays attention to a certain type of fact: those that reinforce their certainties.
Don't hesitate to challenge (calmly) this type of person. Remind them of the facts they forget to take into account. And keep your distance from these people, because you could quickly be associated with them...
Dealing with the loner: leave them alone...
The office loner is the one who doesn't say hello when you pass them, of course they don't smile and they barely look at you. If you dare to greet them, they grunt in response.
You seem invisible to them, and you wonder what you did to them...
The mistake is precisely to believe that their attitude is related to you. Talk to your colleagues, you'll see that the loner behaves the same way with them...
However, this loner sometimes seems to discover your existence when they come to your desk and greet you... then ask you something... and seem to not know you again the following days...
Their behavior is certainly making you angry. So tell yourself that their day must be sad... and move on...
Dealing with the telepath: don't listen to them...
The telepath is that colleague who loudly claims that they know the boss well, and certainly better than you. So, "THEY KNOW" what the boss wants, they know which ideas they will like, or not. They will therefore discourage you from proposing your idea to the boss, from making such a request, because "THEY KNOW" that the boss will not agree. If they think the idea will please the boss, they suggest you go and talk to them about it for you... since they know the boss well...
Don't fall for it. This "telepath" doesn't care about you. It's just a strategy they use to gain importance and power...
Don't let yourself be fooled by this type of colleague: go see the boss yourself if you have something to say to them, regardless of what the "telepath" might say... and don't let this telepath act as an intermediary, because they might well appropriate your merits, in addition...
Dealing with the reporter: communicate with the boss, objectively and regularly...
In the series of unbearable colleagues, there is also this colleague who threatens to "go talk to the boss." This kind of colleague likes to report you, because they think they're improving themselves by doing so. They think they're making themselves look good because the smaller you seem, the bigger they will seem.
How should you behave when you have this kind of person in your professional environment?
The idea is to go see the boss from time to time to check what has been said to them... If your boss is a good boss, they will not take these gossips into account. But it is possible that your boss is not so wise... and in that case they will have listened to and believed the gossips.
The mistake would be to try to get revenge by reporting gossip about your colleague in turn.
Be more professional:
Keep your boss informed about the good progress of your team projects,
Discuss disagreements with your colleague,
Tell them how you resolved these disagreements...
Why would your boss believe you more than your colleague? Because by following these recommendations, you prove to them that you are more trustworthy...
Dealing with the manipulator: stay true to your ideas...
You may have to deal with several types of manipulators.
Here I will only talk about people who appear charming who engage in emotional blackmail. For example, if you disagree with them, you suffer their anger and you feel like you're losing the great "friendship" they had given you.
The idea of such manipulation is to make you give in to the fear of losing this person's support.
This type of manipulation is built on your fear of being rejected, your fear of not being appreciated, your feeling of dependence on this person, etc.
When faced with such individuals, you must above all remain true to your values, your points of view and not hesitate to express your opinion, even if it is contrary to that of this manipulator.
We've finished our tour. You now know how to behave in the face of these 7 types of difficult personalities: the hypercritical colleague, the backstabber, the inveterate grumbler, the loner, the telepath, the reporter, and the manipulator...
Affirmation-de-soi.info
Posted online August 4, 2014.
