At work, those difficult people who drain our energy. How to cope?
4 August 2014
Read by 2570 persons
You arrive at work each morning, motivated by your usual good mood and a good night's sleep. With a smile on your lips and a light heart, you put your personal belongings on your desk, go to the coffee machine, and suddenly, you feel bad. Before you are grumpy colleagues who, as soon as the day begins, complain about everything and nothing. Your good mood takes a hit... and a cloud darkens your inner cheerfulness. You are angry. What's the point of getting up on the right foot when it only takes one bad experience at the office to ruin your day?
You may love what you do and the company you work for, but the atmosphere in the office is becoming increasingly unpleasant because of one or more people with aggressive attitudes. If that person happens to be your office neighbor, the suffering increases and regular breaks become necessary.
How can you avoid falling into depression or slamming the door and looking for a job elsewhere? Anyway, we know that difficult people exist everywhere. What are the tips for staying in a good mood and continuing to be happy at work when surrounded by energy vampires?
Tips to protect yourself from unpleasant colleagues
People who are difficult to manage in companies can have very diverse personalities. There's the chronically late person, the perpetual grumbler, the depressed person, the aggressive person, the paranoid person, etc.
Creating your bubble
To shut out the heavy atmosphere of a difficult colleague, many workers use earphones. An iPod filled with soothing music is a simple way for many people to shut out the harsh and unnecessary comments launched by a colleague with no restraint. For others, teleworking is an option, but this opportunity is not available to everyone and does not appeal to everyone. Moreover, avoiding the person who undermines your day does not solve the situation.
Let's use our imagination!
To stay in control of her emotions when a colleague makes her life miserable, Véronique imagines the person in ridiculous positions or situations: in the toilet, wearing a pink tutu... "Their stream of nonsense then seems more tolerable since I laugh in my head."
Developing your sense of humor
For François, there are three strategies to adopt with his colleague, who talks all the time, who doesn't listen, who has a negative attitude about everything, in short, who drains all his energy and makes him steam. These strategies are humor, focus, and "goodbye" in motion.
When the situation arises, François systematically and humorously defuses the tendency towards drama that his colleague infuses into everything she touches or in all her comments. "It's a bit like sowing sunshine on her dark clouds."
Then, when he has to discuss with her, he focuses on the desired goal. "Believe me, it's not easy. At each attempt, you have to change direction, steer the conversation elsewhere, take the reins and give a good push to bring everything back on track. And when the objective is achieved... Bye-bye!
To leave his colleague, François has developed a tactic to avoid getting stuck in the doorway. "I wish her a good day while walking. It's very important not to stop, or even slow down. Otherwise, the trap closes for at least half an hour."
Adapting to the colleague's position
According to André, it all depends on the position your colleague occupies. If you are equals, you should stick to down-to-earth professional issues. "It lulls the ego." If it's a subordinate, give them enough tasks to keep them busy. If it's your superior, patience is required.
For others, the best technique to destabilize a difficult colleague is to become their complete opposite: be kind, smiling, pleasant. It's a honorable attitude, but not always easy to adopt when the pressure starts to build.
How to resolve a conflict
When the situation becomes complicated, that is, when your working relationship with your colleague becomes unpleasant and conflictual, what to do? First, you must learn to manage your emotions and assert yourself tactfully.
Word choice
Conflict management requires that every word be weighed to avoid double meanings, unnecessary reproaches, and other risks of vexation. In addition, the presentation of your complaints should be as factual and precise as possible. If you are dealing with a chronically late person, for example, there is no point in dealing with the reasons for the lateness. It is better to record them and inform them of the consequences: missed client appointments, delayed start of a collective operation...
Keeping your cool
When your aggressive colleague's attitude shows a willingness to aggravate the situation, do not intervene immediately. Wait for the right moment. It is also preferable to have a one-on-one discussion, without witnesses, and in a listening approach. This generally forces the other person to moderate their words.
However, if you have reached a limit and can no longer face your colleague without getting angry, but you want to resolve this situation in writing, be sure to reread your message and make it polite. One solution: Before sending it, write your email, save it, and check it the next day, with a clear head.
Whether orally or in writing, when you address your colleague, your tone should be free of aggression. Do not hesitate to rephrase your interlocutor's words to make sure you have understood and interpreted them correctly. Use positive language. Try as much as possible to guide your colleague back on track, or on a better path. At the end of your conversation, thank them for their time and for listening to you.
Marie-Christine St-Hilaire.
Canalvie.com
Posted online August 4, 2014.
You may love what you do and the company you work for, but the atmosphere in the office is becoming increasingly unpleasant because of one or more people with aggressive attitudes. If that person happens to be your office neighbor, the suffering increases and regular breaks become necessary.
How can you avoid falling into depression or slamming the door and looking for a job elsewhere? Anyway, we know that difficult people exist everywhere. What are the tips for staying in a good mood and continuing to be happy at work when surrounded by energy vampires?
Tips to protect yourself from unpleasant colleagues
People who are difficult to manage in companies can have very diverse personalities. There's the chronically late person, the perpetual grumbler, the depressed person, the aggressive person, the paranoid person, etc.
Creating your bubble
To shut out the heavy atmosphere of a difficult colleague, many workers use earphones. An iPod filled with soothing music is a simple way for many people to shut out the harsh and unnecessary comments launched by a colleague with no restraint. For others, teleworking is an option, but this opportunity is not available to everyone and does not appeal to everyone. Moreover, avoiding the person who undermines your day does not solve the situation.
Let's use our imagination!
To stay in control of her emotions when a colleague makes her life miserable, Véronique imagines the person in ridiculous positions or situations: in the toilet, wearing a pink tutu... "Their stream of nonsense then seems more tolerable since I laugh in my head."
Developing your sense of humor
For François, there are three strategies to adopt with his colleague, who talks all the time, who doesn't listen, who has a negative attitude about everything, in short, who drains all his energy and makes him steam. These strategies are humor, focus, and "goodbye" in motion.
When the situation arises, François systematically and humorously defuses the tendency towards drama that his colleague infuses into everything she touches or in all her comments. "It's a bit like sowing sunshine on her dark clouds."
Then, when he has to discuss with her, he focuses on the desired goal. "Believe me, it's not easy. At each attempt, you have to change direction, steer the conversation elsewhere, take the reins and give a good push to bring everything back on track. And when the objective is achieved... Bye-bye!
To leave his colleague, François has developed a tactic to avoid getting stuck in the doorway. "I wish her a good day while walking. It's very important not to stop, or even slow down. Otherwise, the trap closes for at least half an hour."
Adapting to the colleague's position
According to André, it all depends on the position your colleague occupies. If you are equals, you should stick to down-to-earth professional issues. "It lulls the ego." If it's a subordinate, give them enough tasks to keep them busy. If it's your superior, patience is required.
For others, the best technique to destabilize a difficult colleague is to become their complete opposite: be kind, smiling, pleasant. It's a honorable attitude, but not always easy to adopt when the pressure starts to build.
How to resolve a conflict
When the situation becomes complicated, that is, when your working relationship with your colleague becomes unpleasant and conflictual, what to do? First, you must learn to manage your emotions and assert yourself tactfully.
Word choice
Conflict management requires that every word be weighed to avoid double meanings, unnecessary reproaches, and other risks of vexation. In addition, the presentation of your complaints should be as factual and precise as possible. If you are dealing with a chronically late person, for example, there is no point in dealing with the reasons for the lateness. It is better to record them and inform them of the consequences: missed client appointments, delayed start of a collective operation...
Keeping your cool
When your aggressive colleague's attitude shows a willingness to aggravate the situation, do not intervene immediately. Wait for the right moment. It is also preferable to have a one-on-one discussion, without witnesses, and in a listening approach. This generally forces the other person to moderate their words.
However, if you have reached a limit and can no longer face your colleague without getting angry, but you want to resolve this situation in writing, be sure to reread your message and make it polite. One solution: Before sending it, write your email, save it, and check it the next day, with a clear head.
Whether orally or in writing, when you address your colleague, your tone should be free of aggression. Do not hesitate to rephrase your interlocutor's words to make sure you have understood and interpreted them correctly. Use positive language. Try as much as possible to guide your colleague back on track, or on a better path. At the end of your conversation, thank them for their time and for listening to you.
Marie-Christine St-Hilaire.
Canalvie.com
Posted online August 4, 2014.
