What Your Boss's Quirks Reveal
12 December 2011
Read by 1626 persons
We might initially find them amusing. But over time, they become unbearable. Our advice on how to decipher, downplay, and manage your superior's annoying daily rituals.
People who have interacted with Bill Gates have long deplored his unfortunate habit of not making eye contact. This seems to be a fairly common flaw among highly intelligent people who are passionate about their subject. Initially, this type of behavior may go unnoticed or even be amusing. We all remember a professor known for their mannerisms or verbal tics. But over time, some habits become irritating. Note that they are often a sign of a hidden fear or an unmet need. And it's rare that you are personally targeted.
He only communicates with me by phone
At Veolia, a construction foreman was surprised that he could only discuss matters with his boss outside, on construction sites. When they were at the head office, this superior only spoke to him on the phone. Should he interpret this behavior as disdain or mistrust? In reality, this type of attitude reveals an anxious nature focused on their objective. The person is focused on their task; relational aspects are a waste of time for them. For the sake of efficiency, they prefer to pick up their phone rather than move or have their interlocutor come to them. This behavior also betrays a certain shyness; the phone seems less intimidating than a face-to-face meeting. With this type of boss, the best reaction is to be concise. Avoid preambles and personal discussions; go straight to the subject at hand. And if you feel a meeting is necessary, take the initiative to schedule an appointment.
He systematically corrects my professional writing
Does your superior reread and annotate everything you write (letters, reports, etc.)? Of course, writing reflects the company's image. But sometimes, the nature of the changes is questionable... "I don't understand why when I write 'courteously,' my boss replaces it with 'cordially,' while if I use the term 'cordially,' he replaces it with 'courteously!" exclaims this client manager at Société Générale. The most plausible explanation? Perfectionist and anxious, this manager has a lot of trouble delegating: to feel reassured, he must keep control of everything. In such a case, it's best to let go. However, when you have to write important documents (activity report, response to a call for tenders, etc.), check in regularly with your boss to validate your work. This way, you will integrate their modifications gradually and will not have to rewrite your entire copy at the last minute.
He leaves his coffee cup on my desk
"The notion of personal space is not the same for everyone," says Jean-Yves Hamiot, professor of human resources management at IDRAC Lyon. "It varies depending on the country, personality, or company culture." What you may interpret as an intrusion, or even a sign of contempt (his dirty cup on your desk), may not be. If your boss allows this familiarity, it may be a way of expressing, more or less consciously, his hierarchical superiority. In any case, react consistently. Obviously pull out the storage drawer or side table for him to place his cup on. If he forgets it when he leaves, take it back to his office or his assistant's office each time... without washing it. And, if you feel comfortable, dare to add a touch of humor: "I've always dreamed of working at Starbucks..."
He always emphasizes the negative points
Your boss barely gives you an "OK, I have nothing to say" when you give an impeccable presentation. In his way of thinking, doing a good job is normal: no need to be ecstatic. "For him, showing enthusiasm is equivalent to lacking critical thinking and therefore failing to play his role as a manager," analyzes Jean-Yves Hamiot. "He believes it is his responsibility to point out the slightest imperfection." Of course, this type of boss is unaware of the consequences of his attitude on your motivation. To get him to be positive, ask him specific questions, such as: "What particular points did you appreciate in this approach?" When he makes a minor reservation, rephrase his sentence: "If I understand correctly, you approve of the originality of this idea and simply advise inviting the chosen service provider to the preparatory meeting?" Finally, thank him warmly for his remarks: compliments are often contagious.
He constantly interrupts me in meetings
Allowing oneself to interrupt others is first of all a way of showing who is the boss. But if your superior acts this way, it may also be because you don't let him express himself enough. Not feeling free to intervene as he pleases, he will tend to do so inopportunely, in order to remind the team of his prerogatives. In a meeting, highlight him from the outset: "Marc, to whom I previously presented the main points of this IT project, will certainly have comments to add." You thus send a double message to the audience: your boss is already informed and he has the final say. In addition, you limit the risk of being contradicted in public. "I noticed that when I invite my boss to interrupt me to provide any technical details, he remains silent," says an EDF engineer. Proof that when a manager feels recognized, he is more willing to step back.
Sandrine Weisz
Capital.fr
Published November 28, 2011.
Posted online December 12, 2011.
People who have interacted with Bill Gates have long deplored his unfortunate habit of not making eye contact. This seems to be a fairly common flaw among highly intelligent people who are passionate about their subject. Initially, this type of behavior may go unnoticed or even be amusing. We all remember a professor known for their mannerisms or verbal tics. But over time, some habits become irritating. Note that they are often a sign of a hidden fear or an unmet need. And it's rare that you are personally targeted.
He only communicates with me by phone
At Veolia, a construction foreman was surprised that he could only discuss matters with his boss outside, on construction sites. When they were at the head office, this superior only spoke to him on the phone. Should he interpret this behavior as disdain or mistrust? In reality, this type of attitude reveals an anxious nature focused on their objective. The person is focused on their task; relational aspects are a waste of time for them. For the sake of efficiency, they prefer to pick up their phone rather than move or have their interlocutor come to them. This behavior also betrays a certain shyness; the phone seems less intimidating than a face-to-face meeting. With this type of boss, the best reaction is to be concise. Avoid preambles and personal discussions; go straight to the subject at hand. And if you feel a meeting is necessary, take the initiative to schedule an appointment.
He systematically corrects my professional writing
Does your superior reread and annotate everything you write (letters, reports, etc.)? Of course, writing reflects the company's image. But sometimes, the nature of the changes is questionable... "I don't understand why when I write 'courteously,' my boss replaces it with 'cordially,' while if I use the term 'cordially,' he replaces it with 'courteously!" exclaims this client manager at Société Générale. The most plausible explanation? Perfectionist and anxious, this manager has a lot of trouble delegating: to feel reassured, he must keep control of everything. In such a case, it's best to let go. However, when you have to write important documents (activity report, response to a call for tenders, etc.), check in regularly with your boss to validate your work. This way, you will integrate their modifications gradually and will not have to rewrite your entire copy at the last minute.
He leaves his coffee cup on my desk
"The notion of personal space is not the same for everyone," says Jean-Yves Hamiot, professor of human resources management at IDRAC Lyon. "It varies depending on the country, personality, or company culture." What you may interpret as an intrusion, or even a sign of contempt (his dirty cup on your desk), may not be. If your boss allows this familiarity, it may be a way of expressing, more or less consciously, his hierarchical superiority. In any case, react consistently. Obviously pull out the storage drawer or side table for him to place his cup on. If he forgets it when he leaves, take it back to his office or his assistant's office each time... without washing it. And, if you feel comfortable, dare to add a touch of humor: "I've always dreamed of working at Starbucks..."
He always emphasizes the negative points
Your boss barely gives you an "OK, I have nothing to say" when you give an impeccable presentation. In his way of thinking, doing a good job is normal: no need to be ecstatic. "For him, showing enthusiasm is equivalent to lacking critical thinking and therefore failing to play his role as a manager," analyzes Jean-Yves Hamiot. "He believes it is his responsibility to point out the slightest imperfection." Of course, this type of boss is unaware of the consequences of his attitude on your motivation. To get him to be positive, ask him specific questions, such as: "What particular points did you appreciate in this approach?" When he makes a minor reservation, rephrase his sentence: "If I understand correctly, you approve of the originality of this idea and simply advise inviting the chosen service provider to the preparatory meeting?" Finally, thank him warmly for his remarks: compliments are often contagious.
He constantly interrupts me in meetings
Allowing oneself to interrupt others is first of all a way of showing who is the boss. But if your superior acts this way, it may also be because you don't let him express himself enough. Not feeling free to intervene as he pleases, he will tend to do so inopportunely, in order to remind the team of his prerogatives. In a meeting, highlight him from the outset: "Marc, to whom I previously presented the main points of this IT project, will certainly have comments to add." You thus send a double message to the audience: your boss is already informed and he has the final say. In addition, you limit the risk of being contradicted in public. "I noticed that when I invite my boss to interrupt me to provide any technical details, he remains silent," says an EDF engineer. Proof that when a manager feels recognized, he is more willing to step back.
Sandrine Weisz
Capital.fr
Published November 28, 2011.
Posted online December 12, 2011.
