How to say NO in eight lessons?
11 May 2015
Read by 3384 persons
Saying no is not always easy. In fact, it can sometimes be a real challenge.
To be polite, to please others, we often say "yes," even if it puts us in difficult situations. Many people, whether in their professional or private lives, struggle to say no, leading to resentment.
Here are eight tips to help you avoid trouble and say "no" when you should:
1. Find good excuses
Prepare some valid and reasonable excuses in advance. Think of good reasons to justify a refusal if you need to explain yourself to the other person.
Set limits for yourself. For example, decide that you don't work Tuesdays after 6 pm, or that you need to go swimming more regularly!
2. Don't add anything to your NO
Keep it short. A short "no" is the most effective. Be firm without being verbose. Avoid saying "maybe" or "I'll think about it." This opens the door to discussion.
Say "no, unfortunately that's not possible" politely and quietly. Say it kindly but firmly, without leaving any room for suggestions.
3. Don't lie
Avoid making up false reasons at the last minute. Keep it simple, concise, and clear. Say "no" or admit it's "no," even if you blush, but don't put yourself in a difficult situation with dishonest excuses that are easily verifiable!
4. Use clichés
In professional settings, it's useful to have some standard phrases ready. The well-known phrase "it's nothing personal" works well when used correctly. It reminds the requester that you heard them but can't help them.
5. Throw the ball back
Consider broadening the request. This is a clever way to get out of a situation. You can politely say: "Listen, I can't do it like that, but here's what I suggest..." and offer an alternative. The responsibility will then be on their side.
6. Thank the requester!
In mental manipulation techniques, people are taught to reverse the initial situation. Here, you can reverse the situation completely: thank the person for their offer, which shows their trust, but add that you can't act on it. This will neutralize the requester who might be less likely to make future requests.
7. Find a scapegoat
While blaming someone else isn't glorious, it can help in extreme cases. Find someone to use as a reason and claim your "no" comes from them. If necessary, even let them know, which will restore some balance.
8. Ignore the request
Dare to not respond, to leave that email or phone call unanswered. Silence has universal meaning and if saying "no" is too difficult, silence will do the job. It's not the best method, but it works as a refusal. You don't always have to respond, especially not to unwanted calls or emails.
For some people who struggle to say no, ignoring someone is not easy but sometimes the most suitable option. Even if this may seem impolite in some cases, it is sometimes the least bad solution.
The ReKrute.com team
To be polite, to please others, we often say "yes," even if it puts us in difficult situations. Many people, whether in their professional or private lives, struggle to say no, leading to resentment.
Here are eight tips to help you avoid trouble and say "no" when you should:
1. Find good excuses
Prepare some valid and reasonable excuses in advance. Think of good reasons to justify a refusal if you need to explain yourself to the other person.
Set limits for yourself. For example, decide that you don't work Tuesdays after 6 pm, or that you need to go swimming more regularly!
2. Don't add anything to your NO
Keep it short. A short "no" is the most effective. Be firm without being verbose. Avoid saying "maybe" or "I'll think about it." This opens the door to discussion.
Say "no, unfortunately that's not possible" politely and quietly. Say it kindly but firmly, without leaving any room for suggestions.
3. Don't lie
Avoid making up false reasons at the last minute. Keep it simple, concise, and clear. Say "no" or admit it's "no," even if you blush, but don't put yourself in a difficult situation with dishonest excuses that are easily verifiable!
4. Use clichés
In professional settings, it's useful to have some standard phrases ready. The well-known phrase "it's nothing personal" works well when used correctly. It reminds the requester that you heard them but can't help them.
5. Throw the ball back
Consider broadening the request. This is a clever way to get out of a situation. You can politely say: "Listen, I can't do it like that, but here's what I suggest..." and offer an alternative. The responsibility will then be on their side.
6. Thank the requester!
In mental manipulation techniques, people are taught to reverse the initial situation. Here, you can reverse the situation completely: thank the person for their offer, which shows their trust, but add that you can't act on it. This will neutralize the requester who might be less likely to make future requests.
7. Find a scapegoat
While blaming someone else isn't glorious, it can help in extreme cases. Find someone to use as a reason and claim your "no" comes from them. If necessary, even let them know, which will restore some balance.
8. Ignore the request
Dare to not respond, to leave that email or phone call unanswered. Silence has universal meaning and if saying "no" is too difficult, silence will do the job. It's not the best method, but it works as a refusal. You don't always have to respond, especially not to unwanted calls or emails.
For some people who struggle to say no, ignoring someone is not easy but sometimes the most suitable option. Even if this may seem impolite in some cases, it is sometimes the least bad solution.
The ReKrute.com team
