How to avoid maternal burnout?
3 January 2013
Read by 1921 persons
Today’s women want it all. They want to succeed in both their professional and personal lives. They no longer want to sacrifice anything.
So to achieve their goals, they often take on the role of the "superwoman" who takes charge of everything and everyone, without asking for help and forgetting to take care of their own needs. They then risk feeling overwhelmed and facing emotional and physical exhaustion. Here are some keys to avoiding maternal burnout.
I take stock
I ask myself what my life is like today? I retrace a typical week, taking into account each area of life (professional, personal couple, family, personal, social). I specify the activities I prefer and why. I indicate what I want to change or develop, presenting the possible obstacles.
This assessment allows me to answer the question: does what I want correspond to what I do? To see what I dedicate my energy and time to. To understand what I really want. And where I want to put my energy. In the end, it’s all about asking myself: what can I do to make my life more beautiful?
I focus on what’s essential
Sometimes we feel completely overwhelmed by the amount of things we have to do. We don’t know where to start. And so, the task seems insurmountable. So the first thing to do is to pause for a moment and ask yourself: what is the most important thing? Then I take a piece of paper, and I write down in order of priority what I need to do. As I take notes, I realize that the situation is not as desperate as it seems. And I feel ready to take things in hand.
I make requests
Often as children we hear the injunction: "Don’t ask, it’s not done, it will bother". This prohibition can block us when, as adults, we have requests to make. How to overcome it?
I include in my question the feelings that animate me at the time of my request and the needs met if it were accepted. Instead of asking my partner "Would you mind keeping the children tonight?" I take the opportunity to express my emotional state and my need for rejuvenation: "I’ve had a very difficult week both at work and at home, which is why I feel exhausted and drained: I need to recharge my batteries. Would you agree to take care of the children tonight while I go to the cinema with Valerie?"
By associating my needs and feelings with my request, I allow the person I am addressing to connect with me, to understand me better and perhaps to agree to help me.
I learn to say no
We don’t dare say no because we are afraid of being rejected or afraid of hurting the other person. However, saying no gives value to the yes I express and allows me to become a responsible adult who acts according to their own choices. This allows me to set limits for others and to feel respected. To say no, it is preferable to express my feelings and needs so that the person to whom I am speaking understands "what I say yes to when I say no".
When I come home from work and the children jump on me to play Wii: instead of saying "leave me alone, can’t you see I’ve just come home!", I can express how I feel and what I need. "I’ve just come home and I feel tired because I need to rest. Could you start the game without me, and I’ll join you when I’ve rested".
In this way, I assert myself while respecting the other.
I take care of my needs without feeling guilty
When we have the talent to intuitively feel the needs of those around us, we have difficulty understanding that this is not the case for others. This is why we can feel unloved, rejected, abandoned when our own needs are not identified and met.
To regain a state of well-being, I ask myself if during the day I felt a disproportionate negative feeling. I think about the stimulus that caused this state, then I ask myself what needs are unmet and what I could do concretely to meet them. "When my manager asked me to stay at work after 7pm for the third time this week, I felt angry and tired because I need consideration and rest. I decide to tell him about my feelings and needs".
In this way I take care of myself and I will then feel more available for others.
I congratulate myself on my successes!
Instead of focusing on what hasn’t been done, I dwell on what I’ve managed to achieve. I even take into account the little things. I don’t neglect anything! This could be: "I did 20 minutes of sport today, I took care of myself, I had lunch with a friend, I achieved my sales targets…". Everything is important! I am the best placed to recognize my successes. It is a simple way to recharge your batteries and develop self-confidence.
Etre-bien-au-travail.fr
Posted online January 3, 2013.
So to achieve their goals, they often take on the role of the "superwoman" who takes charge of everything and everyone, without asking for help and forgetting to take care of their own needs. They then risk feeling overwhelmed and facing emotional and physical exhaustion. Here are some keys to avoiding maternal burnout.
I take stock
I ask myself what my life is like today? I retrace a typical week, taking into account each area of life (professional, personal couple, family, personal, social). I specify the activities I prefer and why. I indicate what I want to change or develop, presenting the possible obstacles.
This assessment allows me to answer the question: does what I want correspond to what I do? To see what I dedicate my energy and time to. To understand what I really want. And where I want to put my energy. In the end, it’s all about asking myself: what can I do to make my life more beautiful?
I focus on what’s essential
Sometimes we feel completely overwhelmed by the amount of things we have to do. We don’t know where to start. And so, the task seems insurmountable. So the first thing to do is to pause for a moment and ask yourself: what is the most important thing? Then I take a piece of paper, and I write down in order of priority what I need to do. As I take notes, I realize that the situation is not as desperate as it seems. And I feel ready to take things in hand.
I make requests
Often as children we hear the injunction: "Don’t ask, it’s not done, it will bother". This prohibition can block us when, as adults, we have requests to make. How to overcome it?
I include in my question the feelings that animate me at the time of my request and the needs met if it were accepted. Instead of asking my partner "Would you mind keeping the children tonight?" I take the opportunity to express my emotional state and my need for rejuvenation: "I’ve had a very difficult week both at work and at home, which is why I feel exhausted and drained: I need to recharge my batteries. Would you agree to take care of the children tonight while I go to the cinema with Valerie?"
By associating my needs and feelings with my request, I allow the person I am addressing to connect with me, to understand me better and perhaps to agree to help me.
I learn to say no
We don’t dare say no because we are afraid of being rejected or afraid of hurting the other person. However, saying no gives value to the yes I express and allows me to become a responsible adult who acts according to their own choices. This allows me to set limits for others and to feel respected. To say no, it is preferable to express my feelings and needs so that the person to whom I am speaking understands "what I say yes to when I say no".
When I come home from work and the children jump on me to play Wii: instead of saying "leave me alone, can’t you see I’ve just come home!", I can express how I feel and what I need. "I’ve just come home and I feel tired because I need to rest. Could you start the game without me, and I’ll join you when I’ve rested".
In this way, I assert myself while respecting the other.
I take care of my needs without feeling guilty
When we have the talent to intuitively feel the needs of those around us, we have difficulty understanding that this is not the case for others. This is why we can feel unloved, rejected, abandoned when our own needs are not identified and met.
To regain a state of well-being, I ask myself if during the day I felt a disproportionate negative feeling. I think about the stimulus that caused this state, then I ask myself what needs are unmet and what I could do concretely to meet them. "When my manager asked me to stay at work after 7pm for the third time this week, I felt angry and tired because I need consideration and rest. I decide to tell him about my feelings and needs".
In this way I take care of myself and I will then feel more available for others.
I congratulate myself on my successes!
Instead of focusing on what hasn’t been done, I dwell on what I’ve managed to achieve. I even take into account the little things. I don’t neglect anything! This could be: "I did 20 minutes of sport today, I took care of myself, I had lunch with a friend, I achieved my sales targets…". Everything is important! I am the best placed to recognize my successes. It is a simple way to recharge your batteries and develop self-confidence.
Etre-bien-au-travail.fr
Posted online January 3, 2013.
