From Conflict to Constructive Resolution
10 June 2008
Read by 1838 persons
Conflicts are unavoidable when people live or work together. The causes can almost always be found in the "emotional logic" (see the author's book www.emotionelelogica.be, Dutch site) that we use. We look at the world, people, and situations in a certain way, a way that is unique to us.
This different perception of the world, which we all experience, means that we interpret things differently. Everyone has their own truth, so to speak. And indeed, we all have the right to our own perspective. But in places where we are together, day after day, hour after hour, faced with these differently perceived things, it can lead to frustration, dissatisfaction, and even conflict.
What to do when faced with such conflicts as a manager? All managers grapple with different strategies. Let's examine 3 main strategies and their results.
Ignore
As strange as it may seem, many managers ignore latent conflicts. They act as if these conflicts do not exist and leave it to the group to resolve them. The result is predictable. Eventually, the conflict explodes, forcing people to address it. The situation then becomes so conflictual that a solution is difficult to find. The biggest "victims" of such a conflict are the motivation, team spirit, and productivity of the group.
Take Sides
Some choose from the outset to take sides and support one party over another. This is an effective way to stifle the conflict. But the consequence is obvious: the boss has a preference for... You then end up with one disgruntled party (guilty or not guilty) whose dissatisfaction, expressed during the conflict, will come back to haunt you later.
Arbitrate
Others choose to stand in the middle of the conflict and reconcile the two parties by proposing a compromise.
This takes time and the consequences are often disastrous. As with any compromise, you determine a solution that does not fully satisfy either side. This results in simmering discontent that will sooner or later resurface.
What about other approaches?
Conflicts are a source of energy. They demand personal commitment and reveal someone's deepest values. The art lies in channeling this energy positively, so that the conflict leads to essential positive consequences that you can offer your team.
Try the following approach:
1. Find the root cause of the conflict
- speak separately with the protagonists
- ask questions and listen without judgment
- ask the different parties to express their opinion on the others
- ask them what the ideal solution would be for them
2. Discuss solutions with the different parties based on their vision and the company's values (this works in a collaboration within a larger framework)
- don't take sides!
- let everyone have a chance to say what they have to say
- be moderate, but not in the middle of the conflict; your opinion is not important
- judge each proposal based on the values and vision of your company (again)
3. Think together about a way of collaborating that meets the standards and values of your company (third time) but still allows the different parties to hold their own values.
In this way, no one feels trapped and everyone can play to their strengths. And it's not as destructive to motivation as having to abandon one's own vision and convictions. In this way, you cause no harm to the image others have of themselves, you don't have to take sides, and you strengthen the company culture.
Posted on May 23, 2008
references.be
This different perception of the world, which we all experience, means that we interpret things differently. Everyone has their own truth, so to speak. And indeed, we all have the right to our own perspective. But in places where we are together, day after day, hour after hour, faced with these differently perceived things, it can lead to frustration, dissatisfaction, and even conflict.
What to do when faced with such conflicts as a manager? All managers grapple with different strategies. Let's examine 3 main strategies and their results.
Ignore
As strange as it may seem, many managers ignore latent conflicts. They act as if these conflicts do not exist and leave it to the group to resolve them. The result is predictable. Eventually, the conflict explodes, forcing people to address it. The situation then becomes so conflictual that a solution is difficult to find. The biggest "victims" of such a conflict are the motivation, team spirit, and productivity of the group.
Take Sides
Some choose from the outset to take sides and support one party over another. This is an effective way to stifle the conflict. But the consequence is obvious: the boss has a preference for... You then end up with one disgruntled party (guilty or not guilty) whose dissatisfaction, expressed during the conflict, will come back to haunt you later.
Arbitrate
Others choose to stand in the middle of the conflict and reconcile the two parties by proposing a compromise.
This takes time and the consequences are often disastrous. As with any compromise, you determine a solution that does not fully satisfy either side. This results in simmering discontent that will sooner or later resurface.
What about other approaches?
Conflicts are a source of energy. They demand personal commitment and reveal someone's deepest values. The art lies in channeling this energy positively, so that the conflict leads to essential positive consequences that you can offer your team.
Try the following approach:
1. Find the root cause of the conflict
- speak separately with the protagonists
- ask questions and listen without judgment
- ask the different parties to express their opinion on the others
- ask them what the ideal solution would be for them
2. Discuss solutions with the different parties based on their vision and the company's values (this works in a collaboration within a larger framework)
- don't take sides!
- let everyone have a chance to say what they have to say
- be moderate, but not in the middle of the conflict; your opinion is not important
- judge each proposal based on the values and vision of your company (again)
3. Think together about a way of collaborating that meets the standards and values of your company (third time) but still allows the different parties to hold their own values.
In this way, no one feels trapped and everyone can play to their strengths. And it's not as destructive to motivation as having to abandon one's own vision and convictions. In this way, you cause no harm to the image others have of themselves, you don't have to take sides, and you strengthen the company culture.
Posted on May 23, 2008
references.be
