Kissing Up? Yes, but Subtly!
25 April 2011
Read by 1717 persons
With equal skills, some succeed better than others. Their secret: political sense and the art of the well-turned compliment. Like them, learn to flatter with finesse.
Overnight, Bertrand, a manager in a telecom company, changed his habits to adopt those... of his new boss. A golf enthusiast, he became a football fan and even subscribed to "L'Equipe". To resemble him, he started wearing suits from the same tailor. His superior could have taken offense at such mimicry and questioned the purity of his intentions. But, clever, Bertrand was helpful, always ready to highlight his boss's achievements. A skillful campaign from which he quickly reaped the rewards: his boss, convinced of having found someone who shared his vision, made him his right-hand man after a few months.
While morality disapproves of brown-nosing, this age-old practice has proven itself. Because being well-liked is indeed a necessary – although not sufficient – condition for obtaining a promotion or a raise. But how do you go about it to avoid being categorized by your colleagues? How far should you go so as not to annoy those you flatter and end up totally discredited? There's no question of simply serving up compliments at the slightest opportunity. The art of brown-nosing is more complex. It demands finesse and a sense of timing. Here are some tips to help you master this age-old discipline.
Identify the most interesting targets
First, think about your direct superior: they are responsible for the evolution of your salary and your career. But it would be unwise to limit yourself to them! The reason is simple: they are the most obvious target, but also the most visible. Your colleagues would quickly make fun of your approaches... Identify other people who could be useful to you. In particular, a contact at HR. "You will thus be kept informed of internal opportunities and you will be able to advance your pawns before others," observes Ricardo Croati, coach at France Training.
Don't lose sight of the fact that a relationship is built over the long term. "Some employees suddenly become friendly with me at the end of the year, just before the salary increase period!" laughs Armand Mennechet, HR director of the Assembly of French Chambers of Commerce and Industry.
Be a shrewd strategist: start by making contact with your target in a casual way, at the coffee machine, for example. Then offer to have lunch with them. Win over their assistant by showering them with attention. "They got you an appointment with them even though their schedule was full? Send them a thank-you email," suggests Olivier de Clermont-Tonnerre, director of Atomos (professional development consulting). "You'll make an ally of them."
Don't forget your boss's boss. They too could prove to be a powerful ally. Introduce yourself to them by explaining your function, your achievements, how you work on a daily basis with your boss... "Make sure you never give the impression of short-circuiting your hierarchical superior," warns Yves Maire du Poset, president of Piloter-macarrière.com. "If you have to, for example, send emails to this n+2, always put the first one in cc."
Create the conditions for rapprochement
To brown-nose effectively, you must establish a certain connivance with your interlocutor. "I saw a manager take flying lessons only because his boss was doing it," says Ricardo Croati. Without going that far, finding common interests will allow you to build more personal relationships with a superior. Warning: your new enthusiasm for kitesurfing or chess will not suffer any flaws, lest you diminish your credibility.
"I am passionate about beautiful watches," says Patrick Mathieu, head of France, Benelux and North Africa activity at Iomega (computer storage). "A sales representative on my team claimed to share this passion. I quickly realized that he didn't even know what a Patek Philippe (luxury Swiss watch brand) was. I sent him to the ropes by telling him that making this kind of mistake with a client would be unforgivable..."
Keep in mind that the goal is not to highlight yourself but your boss. Therefore, there is no need to flaunt your knowledge. Know how to even remain in the background at certain times. A subtle balance that Charles, head of sales for a luxury clothing brand, has learned to find: "My boss is a woman. I give her my opinion on trends, inform her of new products. Above all, I let her believe that she is discovering things through me, even if it's not entirely true. She thus has the feeling of keeping the upper hand."
Know how to make yourself indispensable
Keep your superior informed of your work progress, send them your important emails in cc... In short, never leave them in the dark about what you are doing, even if it means bordering on excessive zeal. The goal is to highlight yourself and, above all, to show that you consider them as an essential link in the chain and that you cannot do without them.
Often solicit their advice – without asking too basic questions, so as not to appear incompetent – and don't forget to then tell them how their help proved invaluable. "I had to speak at a conference series, an exercise in which my superior is experienced," says Sandra, a wealth management officer. "So I consulted her. Then, I indicated which of her remarks had particularly helped me. I felt her to be very flattered."
Do a little too much, while maintaining a certain discernment. "A manager's time is precious. Showing that you are aware of this will highlight them," explains Yves Maire du Poset. So avoid soliciting them if you feel they are watching the clock.
Another trick to position yourself cleverly: adapt to your boss's rhythm. Do they arrive first thing in the morning? A seasoned brown-noser knows how to spot the most opportune moments. So arrive a little earlier and take advantage of this moment when you find yourself alone with them to reiterate how much the project they are leading interests you...
To read the rest of the article click here
Posted online April 25, 2011
Capital.fr
Overnight, Bertrand, a manager in a telecom company, changed his habits to adopt those... of his new boss. A golf enthusiast, he became a football fan and even subscribed to "L'Equipe". To resemble him, he started wearing suits from the same tailor. His superior could have taken offense at such mimicry and questioned the purity of his intentions. But, clever, Bertrand was helpful, always ready to highlight his boss's achievements. A skillful campaign from which he quickly reaped the rewards: his boss, convinced of having found someone who shared his vision, made him his right-hand man after a few months.
While morality disapproves of brown-nosing, this age-old practice has proven itself. Because being well-liked is indeed a necessary – although not sufficient – condition for obtaining a promotion or a raise. But how do you go about it to avoid being categorized by your colleagues? How far should you go so as not to annoy those you flatter and end up totally discredited? There's no question of simply serving up compliments at the slightest opportunity. The art of brown-nosing is more complex. It demands finesse and a sense of timing. Here are some tips to help you master this age-old discipline.
Identify the most interesting targets
First, think about your direct superior: they are responsible for the evolution of your salary and your career. But it would be unwise to limit yourself to them! The reason is simple: they are the most obvious target, but also the most visible. Your colleagues would quickly make fun of your approaches... Identify other people who could be useful to you. In particular, a contact at HR. "You will thus be kept informed of internal opportunities and you will be able to advance your pawns before others," observes Ricardo Croati, coach at France Training.
Don't lose sight of the fact that a relationship is built over the long term. "Some employees suddenly become friendly with me at the end of the year, just before the salary increase period!" laughs Armand Mennechet, HR director of the Assembly of French Chambers of Commerce and Industry.
Be a shrewd strategist: start by making contact with your target in a casual way, at the coffee machine, for example. Then offer to have lunch with them. Win over their assistant by showering them with attention. "They got you an appointment with them even though their schedule was full? Send them a thank-you email," suggests Olivier de Clermont-Tonnerre, director of Atomos (professional development consulting). "You'll make an ally of them."
Don't forget your boss's boss. They too could prove to be a powerful ally. Introduce yourself to them by explaining your function, your achievements, how you work on a daily basis with your boss... "Make sure you never give the impression of short-circuiting your hierarchical superior," warns Yves Maire du Poset, president of Piloter-macarrière.com. "If you have to, for example, send emails to this n+2, always put the first one in cc."
Create the conditions for rapprochement
To brown-nose effectively, you must establish a certain connivance with your interlocutor. "I saw a manager take flying lessons only because his boss was doing it," says Ricardo Croati. Without going that far, finding common interests will allow you to build more personal relationships with a superior. Warning: your new enthusiasm for kitesurfing or chess will not suffer any flaws, lest you diminish your credibility.
"I am passionate about beautiful watches," says Patrick Mathieu, head of France, Benelux and North Africa activity at Iomega (computer storage). "A sales representative on my team claimed to share this passion. I quickly realized that he didn't even know what a Patek Philippe (luxury Swiss watch brand) was. I sent him to the ropes by telling him that making this kind of mistake with a client would be unforgivable..."
Keep in mind that the goal is not to highlight yourself but your boss. Therefore, there is no need to flaunt your knowledge. Know how to even remain in the background at certain times. A subtle balance that Charles, head of sales for a luxury clothing brand, has learned to find: "My boss is a woman. I give her my opinion on trends, inform her of new products. Above all, I let her believe that she is discovering things through me, even if it's not entirely true. She thus has the feeling of keeping the upper hand."
Know how to make yourself indispensable
Keep your superior informed of your work progress, send them your important emails in cc... In short, never leave them in the dark about what you are doing, even if it means bordering on excessive zeal. The goal is to highlight yourself and, above all, to show that you consider them as an essential link in the chain and that you cannot do without them.
Often solicit their advice – without asking too basic questions, so as not to appear incompetent – and don't forget to then tell them how their help proved invaluable. "I had to speak at a conference series, an exercise in which my superior is experienced," says Sandra, a wealth management officer. "So I consulted her. Then, I indicated which of her remarks had particularly helped me. I felt her to be very flattered."
Do a little too much, while maintaining a certain discernment. "A manager's time is precious. Showing that you are aware of this will highlight them," explains Yves Maire du Poset. So avoid soliciting them if you feel they are watching the clock.
Another trick to position yourself cleverly: adapt to your boss's rhythm. Do they arrive first thing in the morning? A seasoned brown-noser knows how to spot the most opportune moments. So arrive a little earlier and take advantage of this moment when you find yourself alone with them to reiterate how much the project they are leading interests you...
To read the rest of the article click here
Posted online April 25, 2011
Capital.fr
