Managing Conflicts with Difficult Personalities
22 March 2018
Read by 4300 persons
Conflict, by its nature, is a disagreement, a contradiction, or an incompatibility. The term "conflict" applies to any situation where individuals have incompatible goals, cognitions, or emotions, leading them to oppose each other.
Conflict is, by nature, difficult, yet it is a normal, natural aspect of relationships.
Can conflict help improve relationships?
Well-managed conflict is healthy. It can improve a relationship to the extent that everyone feels heard and understood. It's only when people manage conflict poorly that the relationship is disturbed. How you manage conflict, what you do with the information during the conflict, is directly related to the overall quality of your relationships. If you approach conflict defensively or by intentionally inflicting pain on your partner, the conflict will become unsolvable, and you will no longer be able to sustain such a relationship.
On the contrary, you will even create more conflict and resentment. A much more productive and healthy way to manage conflict is to communicate, listen, and understand each other.
A powerful way to do this is through the recreational aspect. By this, I mean actively listening and verbally rephrasing each other's emotional experience. In this way, each person communicates to the other their deep understanding of how they are affected. In this process, you create more intimacy and trust in the relationship.
7 steps to recreate your partner's thoughts and feelings
Listen to what your partner is telling you.
Don't interrupt or defend yourself.
When your partner is speaking, recreate their thoughts and feelings. This does not mean admitting you did something wrong.
Keep rephrasing until the anger or pain subsides and tears or a smile appear.
Repeat the previous steps as many times as necessary until your partner feels understood and satisfied.
It's your turn to express yourself.
Now that you are no longer in conflict, talk about what happened.
Nathanaël Ramos
Stepstone.fr
Conflict is, by nature, difficult, yet it is a normal, natural aspect of relationships.
Can conflict help improve relationships?
Well-managed conflict is healthy. It can improve a relationship to the extent that everyone feels heard and understood. It's only when people manage conflict poorly that the relationship is disturbed. How you manage conflict, what you do with the information during the conflict, is directly related to the overall quality of your relationships. If you approach conflict defensively or by intentionally inflicting pain on your partner, the conflict will become unsolvable, and you will no longer be able to sustain such a relationship.
On the contrary, you will even create more conflict and resentment. A much more productive and healthy way to manage conflict is to communicate, listen, and understand each other.
A powerful way to do this is through the recreational aspect. By this, I mean actively listening and verbally rephrasing each other's emotional experience. In this way, each person communicates to the other their deep understanding of how they are affected. In this process, you create more intimacy and trust in the relationship.
7 steps to recreate your partner's thoughts and feelings
Listen to what your partner is telling you.
Don't interrupt or defend yourself.
When your partner is speaking, recreate their thoughts and feelings. This does not mean admitting you did something wrong.
Keep rephrasing until the anger or pain subsides and tears or a smile appear.
Repeat the previous steps as many times as necessary until your partner feels understood and satisfied.
It's your turn to express yourself.
Now that you are no longer in conflict, talk about what happened.
Nathanaël Ramos
Stepstone.fr
