Office Flirting: Beneficial... But Not Always
2 April 2012
Read by 1560 persons
A compliment on a new suit, a favor, regular jokes… flirting in the workplace takes many forms. Labor law protects against harassment, but the victim must react.
Every morning, 36-year-old Hamid doesn't fail to compliment his female colleague. "I like to tease my colleagues about their clothes, their hair, or their weekend outings. By doing this repeatedly, I felt a certain closeness with some of them. It allows me to communicate more easily with them when there are professional problems. That said, I don't go any further. If I want to have more developed relationships, I prefer to do it elsewhere," he explains. Ahmed Al Motamassik, a sociologist, agrees. "It is certain that in a work relationship, individuals build an experience that can be based on the emotional dimension. By this, I mean that a purely professional relationship does not exist insofar as an affectivity is created. There is either an attraction or a rejection of the person," he points out. In short, the company being an emanation of society, the same human relationships are formed there. Moreover, it is now frequent to see people find a spouse there. A phenomenon all the more understandable since we spend a good part of our time at work. In itself, flirting, or seduction, a more appropriate term, according to Ahmed Al Motamassik, is not reprehensible. "I think that the phenomenon of flirting is common and does not have consequences, as long as one respects the other. You can joke if everyone sets their limits and respects those of others," he adds.
It can only cause problems when the other party refuses to play along or when the remarks are suggestive or hurtful. Flirting then becomes harassment. This situation is not uncommon, both between colleagues and between superiors and subordinates.
"A colleague would wait for me every morning in front of the coffee machine, always offered to get me a sandwich at noon and kept complimenting me on nothing. I finally accepted his invitation to dinner, during which I made it clear that I only considered friendly relationships with him. He took it badly and went so far as to try to damage my reputation in the company," explains a project manager in a communication agency. In general, it is when the harasser feels that the other person is vulnerable that such a situation arises. According to a consultant, support staff or those in execution positions are the most exposed. But it is also possible that female employees at a higher level are victims of pressure. The cultural question cannot be avoided to explain these deviations in behavior. Indeed, in our environment, men often believe they are allowed to do anything and only conceive their relationships with women in submission. Persistent flirting is allowed for them because the other sex should not venture into the public space except at their own risk.
A code of conduct to avoid abuse
Labor law certainly protects against sexual harassment, but a victim who fears for her job will always remain silent as long as she can bear it. When possible, "do not hesitate, at the first warning signs, to inform the labor inspectorate and the occupational health service, whether you are a victim or a witness. This will leave traces to counterattack later," advises Mr. Motamassik.
In all cases, it is essential for any company to adopt a preventive approach. In large companies, the situation is not as complicated. Most large groups include these issues in their ethical charters, but within a broader framework of moral harassment. The code of conduct of some groups, for example, indicates that the company "is committed to maintaining a multicultural work environment, free from any form of discrimination, harassment, and reprisals." But the sexual aspect is not explicitly mentioned.
In others, however, they do not hesitate to call things by their name: declared love is forbidden. "For example, it is strictly forbidden to have couples formed within our structure. One of the members is obliged to look for a job elsewhere if they really want to continue their life," underlines a manager of a large private company.
Others even go so far as to refuse to recruit people if they have personal ties with employees. This means that if emotional relationships are accepted, they remain feared for their perverse effects. So when jokes risk leading to embarrassing situations, it is necessary to put things in order.
Brahim Habriche.
Lavieeco.com
Published March 21, 2012.
Posted online April 2, 2012.
Every morning, 36-year-old Hamid doesn't fail to compliment his female colleague. "I like to tease my colleagues about their clothes, their hair, or their weekend outings. By doing this repeatedly, I felt a certain closeness with some of them. It allows me to communicate more easily with them when there are professional problems. That said, I don't go any further. If I want to have more developed relationships, I prefer to do it elsewhere," he explains. Ahmed Al Motamassik, a sociologist, agrees. "It is certain that in a work relationship, individuals build an experience that can be based on the emotional dimension. By this, I mean that a purely professional relationship does not exist insofar as an affectivity is created. There is either an attraction or a rejection of the person," he points out. In short, the company being an emanation of society, the same human relationships are formed there. Moreover, it is now frequent to see people find a spouse there. A phenomenon all the more understandable since we spend a good part of our time at work. In itself, flirting, or seduction, a more appropriate term, according to Ahmed Al Motamassik, is not reprehensible. "I think that the phenomenon of flirting is common and does not have consequences, as long as one respects the other. You can joke if everyone sets their limits and respects those of others," he adds.
It can only cause problems when the other party refuses to play along or when the remarks are suggestive or hurtful. Flirting then becomes harassment. This situation is not uncommon, both between colleagues and between superiors and subordinates.
"A colleague would wait for me every morning in front of the coffee machine, always offered to get me a sandwich at noon and kept complimenting me on nothing. I finally accepted his invitation to dinner, during which I made it clear that I only considered friendly relationships with him. He took it badly and went so far as to try to damage my reputation in the company," explains a project manager in a communication agency. In general, it is when the harasser feels that the other person is vulnerable that such a situation arises. According to a consultant, support staff or those in execution positions are the most exposed. But it is also possible that female employees at a higher level are victims of pressure. The cultural question cannot be avoided to explain these deviations in behavior. Indeed, in our environment, men often believe they are allowed to do anything and only conceive their relationships with women in submission. Persistent flirting is allowed for them because the other sex should not venture into the public space except at their own risk.
A code of conduct to avoid abuse
Labor law certainly protects against sexual harassment, but a victim who fears for her job will always remain silent as long as she can bear it. When possible, "do not hesitate, at the first warning signs, to inform the labor inspectorate and the occupational health service, whether you are a victim or a witness. This will leave traces to counterattack later," advises Mr. Motamassik.
In all cases, it is essential for any company to adopt a preventive approach. In large companies, the situation is not as complicated. Most large groups include these issues in their ethical charters, but within a broader framework of moral harassment. The code of conduct of some groups, for example, indicates that the company "is committed to maintaining a multicultural work environment, free from any form of discrimination, harassment, and reprisals." But the sexual aspect is not explicitly mentioned.
In others, however, they do not hesitate to call things by their name: declared love is forbidden. "For example, it is strictly forbidden to have couples formed within our structure. One of the members is obliged to look for a job elsewhere if they really want to continue their life," underlines a manager of a large private company.
Others even go so far as to refuse to recruit people if they have personal ties with employees. This means that if emotional relationships are accepted, they remain feared for their perverse effects. So when jokes risk leading to embarrassing situations, it is necessary to put things in order.
Brahim Habriche.
Lavieeco.com
Published March 21, 2012.
Posted online April 2, 2012.
