The Toltec Agreements, for Living in Daily Harmony
27 January 2015
Read by 2601 persons
This book, now a cult classic, presents the Toltec Agreements* as a "code of conduct" that allows you to approach the world and your relationships with serenity. Full of common sense, it is especially powerful for those seeking happiness.
Discover the five aspects at play in daily life, particularly in the workplace, through the prism of this ancient wisdom: "What I perceive, what I think, what I do, what I say, what I observe."
1st Agreement: Speak with Integrity
This first agreement is perhaps the most demanding; it requires speaking with integrity, saying what we think. Words should not be used against oneself or to speak ill of others.
We spend our time exchanging and talking, but are we aware of the importance of what we say? Our constantly used words, this beautiful tool, can be very sharp in many ways. It's good to recognize that, most of the time, we are formulating judgments? That little judge within us that projects things onto ourselves and others. And then, we shouldn't be surprised to see many conflicts, discord, and mistrust arise.
Let us also remember the saying from popular wisdom: "Turn your tongue seven times in your mouth before speaking." When we take our time, our words carry more weight, and they are more likely to be just.
2nd Agreement: Don't Take Anything Personally
Good news: if we respect the first Toltec agreement, we have already gone halfway.
The second agreement is about stopping from taking everything personally, learning to detach from our personal importance. We have this unfortunate tendency to take ourselves too seriously; it flatters our pride, and we end up thinking that everything that happens concerns us.
In reality, everyone has their own mental image of the world, their own truth, which is very different for everyone. We can keep in mind that what others say and do is only a projection of their own reality, their own dreams. When we are aware of this, we are no longer victims of unnecessary suffering.
Take the necessary step back, let go of yourself, learn to listen to the other's world. It is in giving attention that you will develop healthy relationships.
3rd Agreement: Make No Assumptions
We also have a strong tendency to make assumptions that, over time, become firmly rooted beliefs. One of the most common is believing that others think the same way we do.
By stopping the game of assumptions, what we think is the truth, we sometimes discover simply a hypothesis or a habit of thinking.
Let's have the courage to ask questions and express our true desires. Communicate clearly with others to avoid sadness, misunderstanding, and drama.
This agreement alone can transform our lives.
4th Agreement: Always Do Your Best
The fourth agreement is the pillar of our change! It allows us to act sustainably by respecting the other three agreements, making them habits of every moment.
Beyond everyone's ups and downs, this agreement opens the way to audacity, to learning. Einstein said: "Knowledge comes from experience; everything else is just information."
Our "best" changes from moment to moment; it is variable. Let's learn to concentrate on the present, to be totally absorbed by what we are doing and to do it well. Whatever the circumstances, let's simply do our best, and we thus avoid judging ourselves, feeling guilty, and having regrets.
5th Agreement: Be Skeptical, Learn to Listen
In this last Toltec agreement, it is a question of adopting a posture of listening, questioning all supposed truths, whether they come from our inner dialogue or from others. This principle fuels all the others.
Use the power of doubt to question everything we hear: is it really the truth? Let's listen to the intention behind the words, and we will understand the true message.
The challenge is putting them into practice
The Toltec agreements can be a true guidance, an agreement signed with oneself and with others. Taken as shared precepts protected by all, they create unity.
By learning to put these five agreements into practice daily, we act on at least 80% of our limiting beliefs.
By transforming our bad habits, we gain more time and energy for our personal and professional achievements.
It's a way to break the beliefs that limit us and help us get closer to who we really are, not what we pretend to be, consciously or not.
* The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Miguel Ruiz (Amber-Allen Publishing, 1997).
Samira Sofi, Psychologist and Therapist.
Etre-bien-au-travail.fr
Published October 3, 2014.
Posted online January 27, 2015.
Discover the five aspects at play in daily life, particularly in the workplace, through the prism of this ancient wisdom: "What I perceive, what I think, what I do, what I say, what I observe."
1st Agreement: Speak with Integrity
This first agreement is perhaps the most demanding; it requires speaking with integrity, saying what we think. Words should not be used against oneself or to speak ill of others.
We spend our time exchanging and talking, but are we aware of the importance of what we say? Our constantly used words, this beautiful tool, can be very sharp in many ways. It's good to recognize that, most of the time, we are formulating judgments? That little judge within us that projects things onto ourselves and others. And then, we shouldn't be surprised to see many conflicts, discord, and mistrust arise.
Let us also remember the saying from popular wisdom: "Turn your tongue seven times in your mouth before speaking." When we take our time, our words carry more weight, and they are more likely to be just.
2nd Agreement: Don't Take Anything Personally
Good news: if we respect the first Toltec agreement, we have already gone halfway.
The second agreement is about stopping from taking everything personally, learning to detach from our personal importance. We have this unfortunate tendency to take ourselves too seriously; it flatters our pride, and we end up thinking that everything that happens concerns us.
In reality, everyone has their own mental image of the world, their own truth, which is very different for everyone. We can keep in mind that what others say and do is only a projection of their own reality, their own dreams. When we are aware of this, we are no longer victims of unnecessary suffering.
Take the necessary step back, let go of yourself, learn to listen to the other's world. It is in giving attention that you will develop healthy relationships.
3rd Agreement: Make No Assumptions
We also have a strong tendency to make assumptions that, over time, become firmly rooted beliefs. One of the most common is believing that others think the same way we do.
By stopping the game of assumptions, what we think is the truth, we sometimes discover simply a hypothesis or a habit of thinking.
Let's have the courage to ask questions and express our true desires. Communicate clearly with others to avoid sadness, misunderstanding, and drama.
This agreement alone can transform our lives.
4th Agreement: Always Do Your Best
The fourth agreement is the pillar of our change! It allows us to act sustainably by respecting the other three agreements, making them habits of every moment.
Beyond everyone's ups and downs, this agreement opens the way to audacity, to learning. Einstein said: "Knowledge comes from experience; everything else is just information."
Our "best" changes from moment to moment; it is variable. Let's learn to concentrate on the present, to be totally absorbed by what we are doing and to do it well. Whatever the circumstances, let's simply do our best, and we thus avoid judging ourselves, feeling guilty, and having regrets.
5th Agreement: Be Skeptical, Learn to Listen
In this last Toltec agreement, it is a question of adopting a posture of listening, questioning all supposed truths, whether they come from our inner dialogue or from others. This principle fuels all the others.
Use the power of doubt to question everything we hear: is it really the truth? Let's listen to the intention behind the words, and we will understand the true message.
The challenge is putting them into practice
The Toltec agreements can be a true guidance, an agreement signed with oneself and with others. Taken as shared precepts protected by all, they create unity.
By learning to put these five agreements into practice daily, we act on at least 80% of our limiting beliefs.
By transforming our bad habits, we gain more time and energy for our personal and professional achievements.
It's a way to break the beliefs that limit us and help us get closer to who we really are, not what we pretend to be, consciously or not.
* The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Miguel Ruiz (Amber-Allen Publishing, 1997).
Samira Sofi, Psychologist and Therapist.
Etre-bien-au-travail.fr
Published October 3, 2014.
Posted online January 27, 2015.
