Five Keys to Self-Confidence at Work
5 September 2014
Read by 3769 persons
"I'll never succeed," "I'm not up to it," "I'm scared..." If our mind generates these kinds of doubts, it can also eliminate them. Instructions for use.
Let's be clear, I'm not at the level. And I've upset the whole team." Julie, a brilliant 35-year-old polytechnician, remembers how much she berated herself after a failed presentation to a big boss. Then a senior executive in a large bank, she experienced what psychologists call "imposter syndrome," convinced that she was usurping someone else's place, who would have been more competent than her. Conversely, her sister Marie, a painter, flourished in her studio, sure of herself and her future. Although both young women received the same education, one was plagued by constant doubt, while the other moved forward with confidence. How can such a difference be explained?
According to the Institute of Environmental Medicine (IME), the key to our behavior lies in self-esteem, which is based on three pillars. Temperament, consisting of deep motivations and preferences, is forged from 0 to 6 months: this is the foundation of personality. Spontaneous self-confidence asserts itself at the age of 3 years, when the child begins to say "no," and strengthens at puberty. Finally, character is built at each stage of development and experiences lived by the individual. However, all it takes is a lack, a failure during our development for self-esteem to be weakened. As an adult, specific situations - having to address an authority figure like a CEO, gaining rank, negotiating a large contract... - can bring this vulnerability back to the surface. But self-esteem is not like your eye color: you can make it evolve. Five avenues to follow to achieve this.
1. Build on your natural predispositions
"I wanted to be a laboratory technician. But in biology school, I got depressed. And the day I had to dissect a frog, I ran away." Celine Chaubard, manager at Companeo (advice to SMEs), then switched to a completely different field, sales, where she is pursuing a successful career. "Today," she says, "I am responsible for a team of telesales representatives. It would have been a mistake to persist in research when I have the relational fiber and the taste for challenge." "When we go towards our natural predispositions, we risk little failure," confirms Pascal Vancutsem, executive coach at Coaching & Performance.
To identify yours, pay attention to your emotions. In what area do you feel you act with ease and pleasure? If you experience a strong feeling of inner security, it is because you are in tune with your deep nature. Conversely, following a path that is not one's own weakens. This is what happened to Julie: by conforming to the parental model of an elitist career, she contradicted her taste for financial expertise and altered her self-esteem. And when she reached a top management position, the beautiful construction cracked. While following her artistic vocation, her sister drew on her deep motivations.
You too, rely on your natural talents and abilities, regardless of the directives in your job description. Do you like contact? Use it to create bonds between your colleagues, for example. Are you inclined to discretion but like to support others? Be present in case of difficulty.
2. Eliminate negative thoughts and limiting beliefs
As soon as our ego is touched, we tend to devalue ourselves. We must silence that little inner voice that judges us severely: "I'm not up to it," "Anyway, I won't succeed..." "These limiting beliefs paralyze us," observes Nicolas Dugay, coach and associate director of CAA. Because even if they are false or simply exaggerated, the brain considers them true. At the slightest stressful or uncertain situation, it will reactivate them automatically. We must "uproot" them to replace them with constructive thoughts." Don't think that a simple "yes you can, you'll succeed" will suffice. To convince yourself that you are up to the situation, you must use "antidote" counterexamples.
To do this, engage in a question-and-answer dialogue with someone who knows you well. For example: "I can't spontaneously talk to my boss about my ideas." "Have you ever had the opportunity to do so?" "Yes." "On important subjects?" "Yes." "Why did it work?" "I had developed an action plan on a project." "What did he think?" "He congratulated me"... This is effective in reassuring yourself. Another possible solution, more used abroad than in France: practicing the Coué method, through positive affirmations. "The shorter, more specific, and formulated in the present tense these are, the better they will neutralize your limiting beliefs," explain Rosette Poletti and Barbara Dobbs, healthcare professionals, in "Self-Esteem" (Editions Jouvence). Since taking her position as manager, Celine Chaubard has adopted another technique. Every evening, she lists what she has done positively during the day and the results she intends to obtain the next day. "Unstoppable," she says, "for maintaining a strong mindset."
Read the rest of the article
Let's be clear, I'm not at the level. And I've upset the whole team." Julie, a brilliant 35-year-old polytechnician, remembers how much she berated herself after a failed presentation to a big boss. Then a senior executive in a large bank, she experienced what psychologists call "imposter syndrome," convinced that she was usurping someone else's place, who would have been more competent than her. Conversely, her sister Marie, a painter, flourished in her studio, sure of herself and her future. Although both young women received the same education, one was plagued by constant doubt, while the other moved forward with confidence. How can such a difference be explained?
According to the Institute of Environmental Medicine (IME), the key to our behavior lies in self-esteem, which is based on three pillars. Temperament, consisting of deep motivations and preferences, is forged from 0 to 6 months: this is the foundation of personality. Spontaneous self-confidence asserts itself at the age of 3 years, when the child begins to say "no," and strengthens at puberty. Finally, character is built at each stage of development and experiences lived by the individual. However, all it takes is a lack, a failure during our development for self-esteem to be weakened. As an adult, specific situations - having to address an authority figure like a CEO, gaining rank, negotiating a large contract... - can bring this vulnerability back to the surface. But self-esteem is not like your eye color: you can make it evolve. Five avenues to follow to achieve this.
1. Build on your natural predispositions
"I wanted to be a laboratory technician. But in biology school, I got depressed. And the day I had to dissect a frog, I ran away." Celine Chaubard, manager at Companeo (advice to SMEs), then switched to a completely different field, sales, where she is pursuing a successful career. "Today," she says, "I am responsible for a team of telesales representatives. It would have been a mistake to persist in research when I have the relational fiber and the taste for challenge." "When we go towards our natural predispositions, we risk little failure," confirms Pascal Vancutsem, executive coach at Coaching & Performance.
To identify yours, pay attention to your emotions. In what area do you feel you act with ease and pleasure? If you experience a strong feeling of inner security, it is because you are in tune with your deep nature. Conversely, following a path that is not one's own weakens. This is what happened to Julie: by conforming to the parental model of an elitist career, she contradicted her taste for financial expertise and altered her self-esteem. And when she reached a top management position, the beautiful construction cracked. While following her artistic vocation, her sister drew on her deep motivations.
You too, rely on your natural talents and abilities, regardless of the directives in your job description. Do you like contact? Use it to create bonds between your colleagues, for example. Are you inclined to discretion but like to support others? Be present in case of difficulty.
2. Eliminate negative thoughts and limiting beliefs
As soon as our ego is touched, we tend to devalue ourselves. We must silence that little inner voice that judges us severely: "I'm not up to it," "Anyway, I won't succeed..." "These limiting beliefs paralyze us," observes Nicolas Dugay, coach and associate director of CAA. Because even if they are false or simply exaggerated, the brain considers them true. At the slightest stressful or uncertain situation, it will reactivate them automatically. We must "uproot" them to replace them with constructive thoughts." Don't think that a simple "yes you can, you'll succeed" will suffice. To convince yourself that you are up to the situation, you must use "antidote" counterexamples.
To do this, engage in a question-and-answer dialogue with someone who knows you well. For example: "I can't spontaneously talk to my boss about my ideas." "Have you ever had the opportunity to do so?" "Yes." "On important subjects?" "Yes." "Why did it work?" "I had developed an action plan on a project." "What did he think?" "He congratulated me"... This is effective in reassuring yourself. Another possible solution, more used abroad than in France: practicing the Coué method, through positive affirmations. "The shorter, more specific, and formulated in the present tense these are, the better they will neutralize your limiting beliefs," explain Rosette Poletti and Barbara Dobbs, healthcare professionals, in "Self-Esteem" (Editions Jouvence). Since taking her position as manager, Celine Chaubard has adopted another technique. Every evening, she lists what she has done positively during the day and the results she intends to obtain the next day. "Unstoppable," she says, "for maintaining a strong mindset."
Read the rest of the article
