My boss doesn't appreciate me...
21 November 2013
Read by 2926 persons
Your supervisor spends their time focusing on your mistakes? They only highlight your negative points and failures? They even find errors where there are none? They attack you in meetings and make you lose confidence?
They don't appreciate you, and you know it.
However, changing jobs is out of the question for you, and changing managers is very difficult...
So, what to do?
Think it through reasonably.
Before getting stuck in a destructive idea, try to see clearly and carefully untangle the issues:
- What is the real problematic area between your contribution and what your boss receives?
- Can you truly say there's an incompatibility of mood or character?
- Have you already discussed this with someone in HR?
- What could you put in place to improve your relationship with your supervisor?
-
Avoid public confrontations and meet privately.
Remember that a public confrontation can only harm your image and career (rumors, gossip...).
Have the intelligence and wisdom to meet your "hierarchical aggressor" alone to discuss what's happening. Your maturity will serve you well, and it's very likely that your boss will consider this.
During your meeting, be clear, courteous, and calm. Ask the right questions and work towards establishing a more relaxed relationship. For example, simply ask: "It seems my work doesn't fully satisfy you. Can we see what's wrong and work together to improve?"
Pay close attention to the answers and show that you've listened! Ask for concrete examples that will allow you to rebalance your actions and do better, according to what is asked of you. Don't hesitate to mention the points that bother and annoy you. Express your expectations and feelings simply, without aggression, and don't be afraid to acknowledge your subjectivity. Emphasize that you need support, appreciation, and recognition to progress and that you would gladly exchange ideas regularly to move forward together.
This should resolve the conflict and help you start over on a new footing.
They don't appreciate you, and you know it.
However, changing jobs is out of the question for you, and changing managers is very difficult...
So, what to do?
Think it through reasonably.
Before getting stuck in a destructive idea, try to see clearly and carefully untangle the issues:
- What is the real problematic area between your contribution and what your boss receives?
- Can you truly say there's an incompatibility of mood or character?
- Have you already discussed this with someone in HR?
- What could you put in place to improve your relationship with your supervisor?
-
Avoid public confrontations and meet privately.
Remember that a public confrontation can only harm your image and career (rumors, gossip...).
Have the intelligence and wisdom to meet your "hierarchical aggressor" alone to discuss what's happening. Your maturity will serve you well, and it's very likely that your boss will consider this.
During your meeting, be clear, courteous, and calm. Ask the right questions and work towards establishing a more relaxed relationship. For example, simply ask: "It seems my work doesn't fully satisfy you. Can we see what's wrong and work together to improve?"
Pay close attention to the answers and show that you've listened! Ask for concrete examples that will allow you to rebalance your actions and do better, according to what is asked of you. Don't hesitate to mention the points that bother and annoy you. Express your expectations and feelings simply, without aggression, and don't be afraid to acknowledge your subjectivity. Emphasize that you need support, appreciation, and recognition to progress and that you would gladly exchange ideas regularly to move forward together.
This should resolve the conflict and help you start over on a new footing.
