The Toltec Agreements, this easy code of conduct...

 

 

The Four Toltec Agreements, the path to personal freedom, Miguel Ruiz's book, (Jouvence, "Poches", 2005) is now famous.

It is, in effect, a kind of psychological memo, a sort of code of conduct, to be applied within the social world and our relationships, the goal being openly to allow us to access a deep mental serenity.

Utopia? Probably... But let's try anyway! And let's try to apply some advice, strong points, to this ruthless world of the Company...


1st agreement: What I say

This first agreement is, without a doubt, the one that requires the most strength from the apprentice: it requires speaking with integrity, sincerity, simplicity, honesty. To say what we think, without detours or complications, without unspoken words, to protect ourselves from various and varied rejections.

Speech must not be used against oneself, nor to slander others. It must be considered as a tool of clarification, of enlightenment on others, of light, antithesis of obscurity, and of the complexity of human emotions and relationships.

It is good to recognize that, too often, we formulate, emit judgments, and this little judge in us, aggressive, culpabilizing, places biased data on ourselves and on others. Then it is useless to be surprised to see a quantity of conflicts, creaks and mistrust born...

Thus, in life, as in business, let us remember to "turn our tongue seven times in our mouth before speaking".
Indeed, when we take the time for reflection and the indulgence of non-judgment, our speech gains weight and then has every chance of being just or of approaching a certain justice.


2nd agreement: What I observe

By respecting the first Toltec agreement, we will have already done half the way. But let's continue!

With the second, it is a question of ceasing to relate everything to oneself, to understand everything and take everything for oneself!

Let us begin by taking ourselves less seriously and let us stop thinking that everything that happens concerns us directly or indirectly, openly or implicitly.

Let us remember that what others say and do is only a projection of their own reality, their dreams, their anxieties, their temperament and experience. And let us not attach it to ourselves, to what we are or have, or try to be.

Then aware of this reality, we avoid unnecessary suffering and begin a process of letting go that allows us to truly hear the other, to understand him better, thereby developing healthier and more serene relationships.


3rd agreement: What I think

We have also become masters in the art of assumptions which, with time, end up becoming well-established beliefs, the most common being to believe that others think in the same way as we do, that they function according to our emotional and active rules.
That's false! By ceasing this dangerous game of assumptions, of what we think is the truth of the other, we sometimes simply discover a hypothesis or an erroneous way of thinking.

It is a question here of having the intellectual honesty to ask and to ask the right questions to the people concerned instead of suppositions and perfectly dubious answers, since they are imagined by us and not directly from the interlocutor.
To speak, to dare to say, to communicate clearly with others to avoid sadness, misunderstandings, and unnecessary dramas, this is the solution proposed by Miguel Ruiz.


4th agreement: What I do

The fourth agreement is the pillar of our change since it is that of action. Action as a supreme value, as a determinant of almost everything. This agreement is the one that allows us to implement the other three, to make them habits of every moment, new behavioral patterns.

Let us concentrate on the present and the real and let us cease the assumptions and projections!

Let us be wholly absorbed by what we do to be present to the world and to ourselves, to do well and, whatever the circumstances, let us act to the best of our ability, with what we are. Without judgments, without presuppositions.


5th agreement: What I perceive

This last Toltec agreement urges us to adopt a posture of deep listening and to launch ourselves into a true questioning of all the truths thought, stemming from our internal dialogue or that of others, this principle fueling all the others.

Let us use our capacity for doubt and questioning in order to better perceive the intention behind the word, the essential message that the other is trying to deliver to us, beyond his clumsiness and shyness...


By learning to put these four Agreements into action, we act on 80% of our limiting beliefs and are finally able to transform our bad relational habits.

We have everything to gain. Our company too!


Philippe Montant
General Manager ReKrute