To be less stressed, learn to say no.
10 November 2014
Read by 1845 persons
If you are a go-getter, your first instinct is to take on every challenge. You don't want to miss out on anything interesting, and it's essential that people can count on you.
As a specialist in health and aging issues, here is the best advice I can give you, from a personal and medical point of view:
Learn to say no, because it's just as important as saying yes.
The problem in life is that opportunities rarely come one at a time but simultaneously, which is very exciting. However, when the flow accelerates, it is very easy to find yourself overwhelmed by demands.
I realized this a few years ago, when I signed a contract for my first book, followed by four others. These were not relatively short and easy books to write, but "for dummies" books, with a very large number of characters, and extremely tight deadlines.
By the way, did I tell you that at the same time I was raising two children aged six and eight, while running a medical practice as a clinical nutritionist?
So I was overwhelmed. And then the books came out, and the promotional phase began. I did a series of television interviews, about forty in all. I told myself that I had to accept everything: television, radio, book signings, I had to be present on social networks, I had to keep a blog.
Not to mention the children who needed my help with their math homework, to eat vegetables, for me to drive them to their baseball game and make sure they weren't wearing mismatched socks.
I didn't have enough time to do everything. I was close to drowning, and it showed.
I spent my days explaining to my patients how to have a balanced diet, and then I skipped meals or stuffed myself with fatty carbohydrates. I told them to organize their lives around key values, and I said yes to every proposal that was made to me, even if it harmed my personal life and, sometimes, that of my children. And while I insisted on the importance of regular physical activity, I was in front of my computer sixteen hours a day, getting a flat butt.
My life was starting to completely escape me. Fortunately, I realized this, and I understood that I had to prioritize my schedule.
So here's what I put in place. When I had new opportunities, instead of accepting them without thinking, I took a moment to ask myself the following questions:
If I say yes, what am I committing to? How much time will it take me? Is it really worth it?
If I say yes, what consequences will it have on my family, on myself, and on my medical activity?
If I say yes, does it go against my fundamental values (eating healthy and exercising, for example)?
Today, I have stopped accepting indiscriminately all the proposals that are made to me, and I prefer to say yes sparingly. I am not only happier and less anxious, but in better health and thinner. Even my hair has had a makeover.
Why? Because the stress generated by an overload of work makes you sick. It weakens your immune system, making you susceptible to catching all the germs that pass by (not to mention cancer). It feeds on the nutrients present in your body, dries out your skin and makes your hair brittle. In reaction, your body produces huge quantities of cortisol and other stress-related hormones. Do you know what they are made of? Sugars and fats. Naturally, you can guess that this is precisely what your body craves when you are stressed.
And you become fat, bald and unbearable.
If you are on this path, let me share a simple piece of advice, which I learned the hard way: a no is as powerful as a yes.
When you say yes to everything, you dilute your strength. When you show discernment, you distill it. This will allow you to reach new heights of success, both personally and professionally.
Of course, if you are used to saying yes to everything that is offered to you, taking this new step can be difficult. Here are the criteria I use.
If you want these three things in life, start saying yes more judiciously. I bet you'll be thinner, in a better mood and more successful. Otherwise, there's always the fat, bald and unbearable option.
Kellyann Petrucci.
Huffingtonpost.fr
Published on November 3, 2014.
Posted online on November 10, 2014.
As a specialist in health and aging issues, here is the best advice I can give you, from a personal and medical point of view:
Learn to say no, because it's just as important as saying yes.
The problem in life is that opportunities rarely come one at a time but simultaneously, which is very exciting. However, when the flow accelerates, it is very easy to find yourself overwhelmed by demands.
I realized this a few years ago, when I signed a contract for my first book, followed by four others. These were not relatively short and easy books to write, but "for dummies" books, with a very large number of characters, and extremely tight deadlines.
By the way, did I tell you that at the same time I was raising two children aged six and eight, while running a medical practice as a clinical nutritionist?
So I was overwhelmed. And then the books came out, and the promotional phase began. I did a series of television interviews, about forty in all. I told myself that I had to accept everything: television, radio, book signings, I had to be present on social networks, I had to keep a blog.
Not to mention the children who needed my help with their math homework, to eat vegetables, for me to drive them to their baseball game and make sure they weren't wearing mismatched socks.
I didn't have enough time to do everything. I was close to drowning, and it showed.
I spent my days explaining to my patients how to have a balanced diet, and then I skipped meals or stuffed myself with fatty carbohydrates. I told them to organize their lives around key values, and I said yes to every proposal that was made to me, even if it harmed my personal life and, sometimes, that of my children. And while I insisted on the importance of regular physical activity, I was in front of my computer sixteen hours a day, getting a flat butt.
My life was starting to completely escape me. Fortunately, I realized this, and I understood that I had to prioritize my schedule.
So here's what I put in place. When I had new opportunities, instead of accepting them without thinking, I took a moment to ask myself the following questions:
If I say yes, what am I committing to? How much time will it take me? Is it really worth it?
If I say yes, what consequences will it have on my family, on myself, and on my medical activity?
If I say yes, does it go against my fundamental values (eating healthy and exercising, for example)?
Today, I have stopped accepting indiscriminately all the proposals that are made to me, and I prefer to say yes sparingly. I am not only happier and less anxious, but in better health and thinner. Even my hair has had a makeover.
Why? Because the stress generated by an overload of work makes you sick. It weakens your immune system, making you susceptible to catching all the germs that pass by (not to mention cancer). It feeds on the nutrients present in your body, dries out your skin and makes your hair brittle. In reaction, your body produces huge quantities of cortisol and other stress-related hormones. Do you know what they are made of? Sugars and fats. Naturally, you can guess that this is precisely what your body craves when you are stressed.
And you become fat, bald and unbearable.
If you are on this path, let me share a simple piece of advice, which I learned the hard way: a no is as powerful as a yes.
When you say yes to everything, you dilute your strength. When you show discernment, you distill it. This will allow you to reach new heights of success, both personally and professionally.
Of course, if you are used to saying yes to everything that is offered to you, taking this new step can be difficult. Here are the criteria I use.
- I have placed a "bouncer" in front of my schedule. I am now very careful about the people I let into my life, wondering if I want to make friends or relationships with them. I only expend myself without counting for those who are dear to me, instead of giving time and energy to all my entourage.
- I organize my life according to what matters most to me. When I receive a proposal, I only accept it if it is in accordance with my personal morals. If they offer me a lot of money but my family is likely to suffer, I refuse. If it's good for my career but I'm going to wear myself out, I refuse. Even if the only risk is ending up with a flat butt, I'll probably decline...
- I do what I say. Nothing is easier than making beautiful speeches. That's what I did when I encouraged people to take care of their bodies while I gorged mine with stress and toxins. My priorities today are healthy eating, exercise and restorative sleep, and they suffer no exceptions. I do yoga or brisk walking every day because it's good for my nervous system, weight training and metabolic conditioning to feel the euphoric effects of serotonin which helps me burn fat, and meditation, which science has shown to be one of the most effective methods to protect yourself from stress at the cellular level. If saying yes has a negative effect on any of these physical maintenance activities, I say no.
If you want these three things in life, start saying yes more judiciously. I bet you'll be thinner, in a better mood and more successful. Otherwise, there's always the fat, bald and unbearable option.
Kellyann Petrucci.
Huffingtonpost.fr
Published on November 3, 2014.
Posted online on November 10, 2014.
