What to do when you disagree with your boss?
28 November 2011
Read by 1481 persons
Disagreeing with your hierarchy is risky. But if the situation requires it and your arguments are constructive, your courage will be credited to you. So, play subtly!
Contradicting your boss? You might as well resign immediately! "I would never dare," says this marketing manager in the automotive industry. "A suicidal attitude," estimates one of his colleagues. Not crazy, executives last year, an American study showed that one in two employees no longer worked in the same company two years after openly opposing their hierarchy... This shows that the challenge involves risks. "Beyond the fear of sanction, there is a real psychological difficulty in rising up against one's boss. Saying no to your superior is rebelling against paternal authority," analyzes Frédérique Deloffre-Vye, coach at Croissens Consulting. In short, everything encourages you to stay quietly in your corner, even if it means seeing your motivation wane. Opposing your boss should nevertheless be a natural attitude: it is quite normal to have differences. Respect a few basic rules and you will know how to express yourself without causing conflict.
Assess the situation before expressing your opinion
Taking a stand to show your disagreement, that's fine. But at what cost? Gaëlle, a professional customer advisor at an internet provider, admits that she should perhaps have asked herself this question more seriously before turning against her hierarchy. Disapproving of her company's strategy, which asked her to switch customer calls to other advisors as quickly as possible rather than handling their problems from A to Z, the young woman let her bosses know without mincing words. Result: "Three years without a salary increase when everyone else is progressing...," she sighs. To avoid this kind of unpleasant surprise, therefore, list the risks you run. From a simple disapproving grimace to demotion, including being sidelined, you will realize that the range of reactions is very wide, and can even go as far as... congratulations. An exercise that requires you to probe the psychology of your superiors, but also to find out about the company's history.
Also to be taken into account is the size and culture of the structure in which you operate. Dialogue is often easier to establish in an SME than in a multinational. "Before working for Rosenthal, an SME of 1,000 people specializing in porcelain, I was an employee of a large automobile group," recalls André Rodocanachi, export sales director of this German company. When we wanted to express an opinion, there was a protocol to follow. Today, it's much simpler." Once you have measured how far you can go, learn moderation. "Avoid challenging everything and anything all the time: it's never good to be known as the service grumbler. And the rarer your disagreements are, the more they are taken into consideration," analyzes Jean-Claude Thoenig, management researcher at the CNRS and co-author of the book "When executives rebel" (Vuibert). In other words: opposing a strategic direction that seems harmful to the company or rising up against injustice, yes; but rebelling over a simple story of an old coffee machine, no!
Wait until you are in a position of strength
Saying no is also a question of timing. The moment you choose to oppose will be decisive. Express yourself after a difficult board meeting, and you will have little chance of winning your case. Also learn to position yourself individually within the company. "Before expressing your disagreement, ask yourself some uncompromising questions: am I in good standing? In the eye of the storm? How much have I brought to my company this year? proposes Jean-Louis Muller, director of the human resources and management unit at the Cegos group. In general, the best opportunities are in the weeks following the signing of a lucrative contract or an individual performance praised by the hierarchy."
It is therefore easier to understand why it is easier for an experienced employee than for a novice to stand up to their superiors. "In the twenty years I have worked in the same company, I have already taken a stand five times," says Claude Séverin, advertising director of a regional weekly newspaper. And if I have never had any problems, it is because I have always been careful to be irreproachable in my work. I prepare the annual forecasting meetings as meticulously as possible. This then gives me even more credibility to oppose certain decisions during the year." If you are new to the company or a recent graduate, play it safe. "Be skillful! advises Jean-Louis Muller. Start your complaints with a phrase like "I may have misunderstood this internal process, but it seems to me that..."
Request a one-on-one meeting
Nothing is worse than contradicting your boss in public. Choose instead to settle your affairs privately and request an individual meeting. This is what Olivier de Lannurien, an executive at France Télécom, did. "When I opposed the new remuneration plan implemented by my employer, I sent an email to my territorial management to make an appointment, specifying the subject I wanted to discuss," he says. And even if he had to wait, Olivier eventually got his audience. Another solution: wait for your appraisal interview with your N+1. "The company having set up monthly meetings, I preferred to take advantage of this opportunity to express myself rather than grumbling every day in the corridors or accosting my managers," says Gaëlle. Finally, a third possibility: offer lunch to your boss. An ideal time to detail the nature of your disagreements. But this last option is only valid if you have a trusting relationship with him. Otherwise, your proposal will struggle to find a receptive ear. Whatever solution is chosen, try to have at least half an hour to explain yourself. A minimum duration to ensure that the discussion does not end in a misunderstanding or a misinterpretation. In other words, quick complaints between two doors are to be avoided.
Avoid playing on the emotional register
Once face to face with your boss, the hardest part begins. You must express your disagreement without questioning his authority. To achieve this, a golden rule: stay on the professional register by highlighting the company rather than your personal case. Facts, only facts: this is the line adopted by Olivier de Lannurien when he was received by his hierarchy. "I presented curves, calculations and Excel tables to demonstrate what the reform of the commercial remuneration system - based on a reduction in the variable part - would cost the company," details the France Télécom employee. While nothing prevents you from using "I" when you speak, leave all personal resentment at the door of the office. More than a question of prudence, it is a matter of your credibility and efficiency. "Don't let yourself be overwhelmed by emotion and avoid at all costs making value judgments, reproaches or accusations," warns Bernard Salengro, national secretary of the CFE-CGC, a specialist in executive stress. If you think your boss is on the wrong track, don't let it slip that he is incompetent. That would take away any desire to agree with you. Not to mention that you risk being seen as a problem employee who cannot manage his emotions." Don't raise your voice either. The calmer you are, the more your interlocutor will hear your request.
Always propose an alternative solution
Opposing is sometimes necessary. But proposing is better. Jacques Chagny and his fellow executives at the RATP used this strategy to express their disagreement with the project to extend line 13 of the Paris metro. "Management had planned to build a track on land that did not suit some engineers. We called a meeting highlighting the risks of such a choice and proposing an alternative technique. Finally, everyone agreed on another route," he recalls. In other words: never go to your boss's door to complain about a decision if you don't have a solution in hand. "You must first present the facts, then share your opinion, before submitting options and finishing by being positive, that is to say, assuring the other that we will work together and make the right choice," summarizes Jean-Louis Muller of Cegos. This multi-stage argumentation technique has a name: DESC. The meaning of this acronym? "Description of facts, expression of feeling, suggestion of a solution, positive consequences for all". In short, a four-step waltz... To know what solution to suggest, it is once again enough to ask the right questions. "The first thing to do is to understand your interlocutor's point of view," summarizes André Rodocanachi, export sales director of Rosenthal. Why is my boss proposing this option to me? Where does he want to go? Once I have integrated this data, I have more ease in building another scenario."
And afterwards? It is not always easy to manage the aftermath of a disagreement. "If things end well, the best thing is to make a report of the meetings, record the solution chosen and quickly move on to something else," advises Jean-Claude Thoenig. If your opinion has been adopted, don't use it to increase your dissensions and attempt a coup: it could cost you dearly. Conversely, there is no need to suddenly start endorsing your boss's next decisions without discussion: this would mean that you opposed him out of calculation, not conviction. In short: continue as before.
In case of conflict, request the intervention of a third party
If the divergence degenerates into conflict, you will have to shift into high gear. The simplest solution is still to involve a third person. Fanny, marketing manager of a French energy group, thus asked her N+2 to attend her annual performance appraisal interview: "For two years, I had not agreed with the criteria chosen by my N+1, nor with the objectives he set me. As he remained deaf to my criticisms, I had to ensure that his own boss was present at this meeting for things to change."
Some companies, such as IBM or Microsoft, have set up internal procedures allowing for arbitration when dialogue between an employee and his N+1 is blocked. But this solution is risky: if the two bosses make common cause, you will only be more isolated... Sometimes, it is therefore better to take shelter behind a well-regarded colleague, who will plead your case with the hierarchy. Failing that, involve HR, a staff representative or the unions. "Opposed to the new mission I had been assigned, I asked for months to be received by my boss, in vain. Until the day I presented myself under the union banner. There, I got an appointment in a few days," testifies Jacqueline, information security officer in the banking sector. Effective, but even more dangerous. Since then, this employee has been in open conflict with her company.
Stéphane Régy
Capital.fr
Posted online November 28, 2011.
Contradicting your boss? You might as well resign immediately! "I would never dare," says this marketing manager in the automotive industry. "A suicidal attitude," estimates one of his colleagues. Not crazy, executives last year, an American study showed that one in two employees no longer worked in the same company two years after openly opposing their hierarchy... This shows that the challenge involves risks. "Beyond the fear of sanction, there is a real psychological difficulty in rising up against one's boss. Saying no to your superior is rebelling against paternal authority," analyzes Frédérique Deloffre-Vye, coach at Croissens Consulting. In short, everything encourages you to stay quietly in your corner, even if it means seeing your motivation wane. Opposing your boss should nevertheless be a natural attitude: it is quite normal to have differences. Respect a few basic rules and you will know how to express yourself without causing conflict.
Assess the situation before expressing your opinion
Taking a stand to show your disagreement, that's fine. But at what cost? Gaëlle, a professional customer advisor at an internet provider, admits that she should perhaps have asked herself this question more seriously before turning against her hierarchy. Disapproving of her company's strategy, which asked her to switch customer calls to other advisors as quickly as possible rather than handling their problems from A to Z, the young woman let her bosses know without mincing words. Result: "Three years without a salary increase when everyone else is progressing...," she sighs. To avoid this kind of unpleasant surprise, therefore, list the risks you run. From a simple disapproving grimace to demotion, including being sidelined, you will realize that the range of reactions is very wide, and can even go as far as... congratulations. An exercise that requires you to probe the psychology of your superiors, but also to find out about the company's history.
Also to be taken into account is the size and culture of the structure in which you operate. Dialogue is often easier to establish in an SME than in a multinational. "Before working for Rosenthal, an SME of 1,000 people specializing in porcelain, I was an employee of a large automobile group," recalls André Rodocanachi, export sales director of this German company. When we wanted to express an opinion, there was a protocol to follow. Today, it's much simpler." Once you have measured how far you can go, learn moderation. "Avoid challenging everything and anything all the time: it's never good to be known as the service grumbler. And the rarer your disagreements are, the more they are taken into consideration," analyzes Jean-Claude Thoenig, management researcher at the CNRS and co-author of the book "When executives rebel" (Vuibert). In other words: opposing a strategic direction that seems harmful to the company or rising up against injustice, yes; but rebelling over a simple story of an old coffee machine, no!
Wait until you are in a position of strength
Saying no is also a question of timing. The moment you choose to oppose will be decisive. Express yourself after a difficult board meeting, and you will have little chance of winning your case. Also learn to position yourself individually within the company. "Before expressing your disagreement, ask yourself some uncompromising questions: am I in good standing? In the eye of the storm? How much have I brought to my company this year? proposes Jean-Louis Muller, director of the human resources and management unit at the Cegos group. In general, the best opportunities are in the weeks following the signing of a lucrative contract or an individual performance praised by the hierarchy."
It is therefore easier to understand why it is easier for an experienced employee than for a novice to stand up to their superiors. "In the twenty years I have worked in the same company, I have already taken a stand five times," says Claude Séverin, advertising director of a regional weekly newspaper. And if I have never had any problems, it is because I have always been careful to be irreproachable in my work. I prepare the annual forecasting meetings as meticulously as possible. This then gives me even more credibility to oppose certain decisions during the year." If you are new to the company or a recent graduate, play it safe. "Be skillful! advises Jean-Louis Muller. Start your complaints with a phrase like "I may have misunderstood this internal process, but it seems to me that..."
Request a one-on-one meeting
Nothing is worse than contradicting your boss in public. Choose instead to settle your affairs privately and request an individual meeting. This is what Olivier de Lannurien, an executive at France Télécom, did. "When I opposed the new remuneration plan implemented by my employer, I sent an email to my territorial management to make an appointment, specifying the subject I wanted to discuss," he says. And even if he had to wait, Olivier eventually got his audience. Another solution: wait for your appraisal interview with your N+1. "The company having set up monthly meetings, I preferred to take advantage of this opportunity to express myself rather than grumbling every day in the corridors or accosting my managers," says Gaëlle. Finally, a third possibility: offer lunch to your boss. An ideal time to detail the nature of your disagreements. But this last option is only valid if you have a trusting relationship with him. Otherwise, your proposal will struggle to find a receptive ear. Whatever solution is chosen, try to have at least half an hour to explain yourself. A minimum duration to ensure that the discussion does not end in a misunderstanding or a misinterpretation. In other words, quick complaints between two doors are to be avoided.
Avoid playing on the emotional register
Once face to face with your boss, the hardest part begins. You must express your disagreement without questioning his authority. To achieve this, a golden rule: stay on the professional register by highlighting the company rather than your personal case. Facts, only facts: this is the line adopted by Olivier de Lannurien when he was received by his hierarchy. "I presented curves, calculations and Excel tables to demonstrate what the reform of the commercial remuneration system - based on a reduction in the variable part - would cost the company," details the France Télécom employee. While nothing prevents you from using "I" when you speak, leave all personal resentment at the door of the office. More than a question of prudence, it is a matter of your credibility and efficiency. "Don't let yourself be overwhelmed by emotion and avoid at all costs making value judgments, reproaches or accusations," warns Bernard Salengro, national secretary of the CFE-CGC, a specialist in executive stress. If you think your boss is on the wrong track, don't let it slip that he is incompetent. That would take away any desire to agree with you. Not to mention that you risk being seen as a problem employee who cannot manage his emotions." Don't raise your voice either. The calmer you are, the more your interlocutor will hear your request.
Always propose an alternative solution
Opposing is sometimes necessary. But proposing is better. Jacques Chagny and his fellow executives at the RATP used this strategy to express their disagreement with the project to extend line 13 of the Paris metro. "Management had planned to build a track on land that did not suit some engineers. We called a meeting highlighting the risks of such a choice and proposing an alternative technique. Finally, everyone agreed on another route," he recalls. In other words: never go to your boss's door to complain about a decision if you don't have a solution in hand. "You must first present the facts, then share your opinion, before submitting options and finishing by being positive, that is to say, assuring the other that we will work together and make the right choice," summarizes Jean-Louis Muller of Cegos. This multi-stage argumentation technique has a name: DESC. The meaning of this acronym? "Description of facts, expression of feeling, suggestion of a solution, positive consequences for all". In short, a four-step waltz... To know what solution to suggest, it is once again enough to ask the right questions. "The first thing to do is to understand your interlocutor's point of view," summarizes André Rodocanachi, export sales director of Rosenthal. Why is my boss proposing this option to me? Where does he want to go? Once I have integrated this data, I have more ease in building another scenario."
And afterwards? It is not always easy to manage the aftermath of a disagreement. "If things end well, the best thing is to make a report of the meetings, record the solution chosen and quickly move on to something else," advises Jean-Claude Thoenig. If your opinion has been adopted, don't use it to increase your dissensions and attempt a coup: it could cost you dearly. Conversely, there is no need to suddenly start endorsing your boss's next decisions without discussion: this would mean that you opposed him out of calculation, not conviction. In short: continue as before.
In case of conflict, request the intervention of a third party
If the divergence degenerates into conflict, you will have to shift into high gear. The simplest solution is still to involve a third person. Fanny, marketing manager of a French energy group, thus asked her N+2 to attend her annual performance appraisal interview: "For two years, I had not agreed with the criteria chosen by my N+1, nor with the objectives he set me. As he remained deaf to my criticisms, I had to ensure that his own boss was present at this meeting for things to change."
Some companies, such as IBM or Microsoft, have set up internal procedures allowing for arbitration when dialogue between an employee and his N+1 is blocked. But this solution is risky: if the two bosses make common cause, you will only be more isolated... Sometimes, it is therefore better to take shelter behind a well-regarded colleague, who will plead your case with the hierarchy. Failing that, involve HR, a staff representative or the unions. "Opposed to the new mission I had been assigned, I asked for months to be received by my boss, in vain. Until the day I presented myself under the union banner. There, I got an appointment in a few days," testifies Jacqueline, information security officer in the banking sector. Effective, but even more dangerous. Since then, this employee has been in open conflict with her company.
Stéphane Régy
Capital.fr
Posted online November 28, 2011.
