Seven Keys to Benevolent Management
7 April 2014
Read by 2506 persons
Text: Is kindness a utopia in a fiercely competitive world? Naiveté? While this humanist value is celebrated this November 13th, Xavier Cornette de Saint Cyr, a coach at Hexalto, assures that an effective manager can be benevolent without turning into a "teddy bear".
"The benevolent manager is neither a "slacker", nor a cynical manipulator, nor even a psychologist. He shows respect and humanity every day to make the team's wheels turn and move it forward. He is a pragmatist, focused on both objectives and the well-being of everyone, which does not prevent authority. A subtle but effective balance to find. Illustration in seven keywords.
1. Ego. To be muted. Only the objective and the best interests of the collective, team or company should matter. Examples: completing an urgent file, becoming a leader in a market, fulfilling oneself in the realization of an idea. Benevolence requires overcoming one's prejudices but also setting aside the more or less conscious desire to always be right, in everything and about everything. To the point of being directive or doing "instead of..."
To know: Good intentions are not enough to understand others if one remains focused on oneself and one's own criteria.
2. Empathy. Or "putting yourself in someone else's shoes". It is a matter of feeling what an employee is experiencing when in difficulty or conflict, resonating with his or her emotions, understanding his or her point of view. Approach him or her tactfully: "Why are you blocking on project Z? I have the impression that you are tense... Is that it? Is there anything else?" Let the other person empty their bag, you share this meaningful time with them. Then conclude gently. "OK, I've listened to you, heard you and understood!" Take 10 minutes for this, they will remember it. Afterwards, work must resume but take their words into account.
To know: Do not confuse empathy, neutral, distanced with sympathy which consoles, sympathizes and drowns the manager in the emotional.
3. Cooperation. Or the quest for compromise, even in a climate of fierce competition. Even benevolent, the manager makes no concessions, neither to his peers nor to his collaborators. He does not yield on what is the heart of his work or his organization. On the other hand, he has the intelligence to say to himself: "This task is superfluous or not vital for me, can't I delegate it to Maxime, who is interested in it?" Or conversely, "Can't I readjust the workload to make Bruno's life easier?"
To know: Cooperating does not mean giving in but seeking together a positive solution for everyone.
4. Compliment. On the way of doing things or on the intrinsic qualities of a collaborator. Be concise, dated, fact-based and enthusiastic. "On Monday, you managed to resolve the problem with the supplier, we will be delivered on time. Hats off!" Congratulating someone is a way of showing that you are interested in them. We recognize what they do well. I advise to solemnize this moment during an aside in your office and to avoid a casual "well done" in a corridor or in the elevator.
To know: Praise that boosts motivation greets unprecedented performances.
5. Positive outlook. On the difficult employee. Every team has one or more difficult collaborators. Benevolence consists in taking a step back from this one or that one and reinforcing the "bits" of positive images that you concede to him. Practice finding two strengths on three different levels. 1/ Their personality traits. 2/ What they succeed in regularly. 3/ Their relational qualities. So six strong points. You will thus turn 10% to 20% of your aversion into positive.
To know: By broadening one's vision, one can modify one's perceptions of the other.
6. Smile. The key to access, for the team, to pleasure in work. Like "hello", the boss's smile, or relaxed eyebrows, is a sign of openness, availability. It triggers in the other the desire to do well. And facilitates dialogue. In addition, it can be accompanied by considerate gestures: having a kind word about a particular concern, offering coffee, making sure the other person doesn't have the sun in their eyes, etc.
To know: Cordiality must be sincere to be communicative.
7. Right to make mistakes. Essential to keep in mind. Because benevolence also applies to oneself. No need to put pressure on yourself by wanting to be perfect. Sometimes, a misplaced word, a fit of anger can escape you. Avoid feeling guilty about it. You don't feel like being nice at that moment, that's all. Admit these mini-missteps to the team. "I'm sorry, my words were too harsh!" or warn "I have a problem, I'm not very available today." You will only be more human and it will validate everything else.
To know: Like a grammatical rule, kindness can suffer from exceptions.
(1) Xavier Cornette de Saint Cyrest is the author of: "Practicing benevolence, through active listening and empathy" and "A short treatise on Buddhist wisdom for Westerners", published by Jouvence Editions.
Marie-Madeleine Sève.
Lentreprise.lexpress.fr
Posted online April 7, 2014.
"The benevolent manager is neither a "slacker", nor a cynical manipulator, nor even a psychologist. He shows respect and humanity every day to make the team's wheels turn and move it forward. He is a pragmatist, focused on both objectives and the well-being of everyone, which does not prevent authority. A subtle but effective balance to find. Illustration in seven keywords.
1. Ego. To be muted. Only the objective and the best interests of the collective, team or company should matter. Examples: completing an urgent file, becoming a leader in a market, fulfilling oneself in the realization of an idea. Benevolence requires overcoming one's prejudices but also setting aside the more or less conscious desire to always be right, in everything and about everything. To the point of being directive or doing "instead of..."
To know: Good intentions are not enough to understand others if one remains focused on oneself and one's own criteria.
2. Empathy. Or "putting yourself in someone else's shoes". It is a matter of feeling what an employee is experiencing when in difficulty or conflict, resonating with his or her emotions, understanding his or her point of view. Approach him or her tactfully: "Why are you blocking on project Z? I have the impression that you are tense... Is that it? Is there anything else?" Let the other person empty their bag, you share this meaningful time with them. Then conclude gently. "OK, I've listened to you, heard you and understood!" Take 10 minutes for this, they will remember it. Afterwards, work must resume but take their words into account.
To know: Do not confuse empathy, neutral, distanced with sympathy which consoles, sympathizes and drowns the manager in the emotional.
3. Cooperation. Or the quest for compromise, even in a climate of fierce competition. Even benevolent, the manager makes no concessions, neither to his peers nor to his collaborators. He does not yield on what is the heart of his work or his organization. On the other hand, he has the intelligence to say to himself: "This task is superfluous or not vital for me, can't I delegate it to Maxime, who is interested in it?" Or conversely, "Can't I readjust the workload to make Bruno's life easier?"
To know: Cooperating does not mean giving in but seeking together a positive solution for everyone.
4. Compliment. On the way of doing things or on the intrinsic qualities of a collaborator. Be concise, dated, fact-based and enthusiastic. "On Monday, you managed to resolve the problem with the supplier, we will be delivered on time. Hats off!" Congratulating someone is a way of showing that you are interested in them. We recognize what they do well. I advise to solemnize this moment during an aside in your office and to avoid a casual "well done" in a corridor or in the elevator.
To know: Praise that boosts motivation greets unprecedented performances.
5. Positive outlook. On the difficult employee. Every team has one or more difficult collaborators. Benevolence consists in taking a step back from this one or that one and reinforcing the "bits" of positive images that you concede to him. Practice finding two strengths on three different levels. 1/ Their personality traits. 2/ What they succeed in regularly. 3/ Their relational qualities. So six strong points. You will thus turn 10% to 20% of your aversion into positive.
To know: By broadening one's vision, one can modify one's perceptions of the other.
6. Smile. The key to access, for the team, to pleasure in work. Like "hello", the boss's smile, or relaxed eyebrows, is a sign of openness, availability. It triggers in the other the desire to do well. And facilitates dialogue. In addition, it can be accompanied by considerate gestures: having a kind word about a particular concern, offering coffee, making sure the other person doesn't have the sun in their eyes, etc.
To know: Cordiality must be sincere to be communicative.
7. Right to make mistakes. Essential to keep in mind. Because benevolence also applies to oneself. No need to put pressure on yourself by wanting to be perfect. Sometimes, a misplaced word, a fit of anger can escape you. Avoid feeling guilty about it. You don't feel like being nice at that moment, that's all. Admit these mini-missteps to the team. "I'm sorry, my words were too harsh!" or warn "I have a problem, I'm not very available today." You will only be more human and it will validate everything else.
To know: Like a grammatical rule, kindness can suffer from exceptions.
(1) Xavier Cornette de Saint Cyrest is the author of: "Practicing benevolence, through active listening and empathy" and "A short treatise on Buddhist wisdom for Westerners", published by Jouvence Editions.
Marie-Madeleine Sève.
Lentreprise.lexpress.fr
Posted online April 7, 2014.
