A coworker leaves you all the work, what to do?
6 April 2009
Read by 1741 persons
A file to close urgently, a technical point to clarify... Your office neighbor doesn't know this kind of problem: everything that weighs on him, he passes it on to you. Learn to resist. Politely, but firmly.
A colleague who asks for your help because he is overloaded with work, a second who calls on your recognized expertise on a complex problem, a third who asks you to help him out on one of his files because he has a family emergency... What's more normal than to help each other out between office neighbors? But beware, with some, these exceptional favors turn into habit. Say yes once to this type of individual, and you will soon have all his workload on your shoulders! Because, in his eyes, you will no longer be the nice guy who readily helps, but just the easy target on the floor. To avoid getting bogged down in this unhealthy relationship, just follow a few rules.
Identify the sensitive chord he's playing on
Without kidding yourself, first answer the preliminary question: why me? Why is it to my desk that this nuisance systematically goes when he wants to get rid of a difficult file? In this area, know that there is no coincidence: when one is a victim of this kind of abuse, it is because the abuser has sniffed out an easy prey. There are three main types of profiles among the personalities who let themselves be manipulated: the nice one, who likes to please others without ulterior motives; the modest one, who prefers to work behind the scenes rather than defend his positions as a leader; finally, the savior, who feels valued as soon as he gets his colleagues out of a bad situation. If you think you recognize yourself in one of these portraits, beware: you risk being spotted by the harassers. Without going so far as to hide your personality, it is therefore essential that you learn to temper these facets of your character. And, before asking yourself what your interlocutor has in mind when he asks you for help, try to determine what you personally have to gain (gratitude you think you will arouse, feeling of feeling indispensable...) or to lose (time, fatigue, risk of doing your own work badly...). You will then be able to decide in full knowledge of the facts whether you should accept, dodge or refuse.
Refuse without feeling obliged to justify yourself
If you are already overloaded with work, if you make it a matter of principle or, quite simply, if you don't want to help the solicitor, don't feel guilty. After all, nothing obliges you to take charge of files that are not your responsibility. You simply need to refuse your colleague's request outright. In this case, don't justify yourself, especially. Each excuse is indeed equivalent to opening a breach into which your interlocutor will inevitably rush. This is what happened to this consultant who could no longer bear spending his weekends rereading and correcting the reports of another. He had the misfortune to invoke an outing with his children to motivate his refusal. His colleague retorted by inviting him and his family to his son's birthday, adding: "You'll take the opportunity to take a look at my report." In order to avoid such traps, just answer: "No, I don't want to." No need to add "sorry" or to apologize. However, omit any moral judgment that could affect your future relations: no "You should be ashamed" or "That's not done". It's not about saying no to the person, but to the request they are making.
Accept, but set your conditions
You may be one of those people for whom opposing a categorical refusal is an insurmountable ordeal. If it is impossible for you not to give in, at least force yourself to put a condition on your acceptance. And the more important the service, the more you will raise the stakes. By doing so, this product manager managed to discourage the solicitations of one of his counterparts: the first time the latter wanted to delegate part of his PowerPoint presentation to him, he replied that he agreed if his name appeared on the document. When, on another project, the colleague again requested his help, he then demanded to co-animate the meeting. Result: the person left with his files under his arm without asking for anything else. If she had accepted, the game would also have been worth the candle, because this extra work would have served the career of the manager in question. Turn the situation to your advantage Let's push this reasoning to its logical conclusion. What if you used your "weakness" to gain the upper hand over your colleague? By accepting to do the dirty work for him, he will feel indebted. This is what the anthropologist Claude Lévi-Strauss calls the "debt system": in any society based on exchange, the initial giver always ends up receiving in return. There is no need to demand immediate compensation from your "debtor". It is better to wait for the day when you absolutely need him: he will then have no choice but to help you. And it may be that what you ask him for will be more painful than what you did for him. Two caveats to this strategy, however. Nothing guarantees that he will recognize his debt. In this case, you will have lost your bet. Moreover, beware of the perverse effects of this tactic. When erected into a system, it gives rise to relationships in which everyone "holds" everyone else, in a dehumanized universe whose only law is that of give and take.
Request arbitration as a last resort
If you really don't know how to get out of it, you may be tempted to refer the matter to the head of department. It is better, however, to avoid getting to this point. This would put you in a weak position vis-à-vis your manager. This pharmaceutical industry representative had a bitter experience of this. Annoyed at having to do the work of two people, he requested the arbitration of his sales director. The latter gave him a non-response: "If you can't manage this type of problem, it's because you don't have the shoulders for the job." However, if you feel that you are dealing with a colleague who is abusing the situation, you will inevitably have to go through external help: your case may indeed constitute moral harassment. Before contacting management, take care to build a solid case so that your credibility is not questioned. Try to produce documents - e-mails, letters, handwritten notes - attesting that you have indeed repeatedly performed the task of another and that you have tried, in vain, to solve the problem discreetly and amicably. Because, to convince your hierarchy, you will have to prove that the maneuver is systematic or at least regular.
Interview by Stéphane Régy
Published on March 24, 2009
Posted online on April 6, 2009
capital.fr
A colleague who asks for your help because he is overloaded with work, a second who calls on your recognized expertise on a complex problem, a third who asks you to help him out on one of his files because he has a family emergency... What's more normal than to help each other out between office neighbors? But beware, with some, these exceptional favors turn into habit. Say yes once to this type of individual, and you will soon have all his workload on your shoulders! Because, in his eyes, you will no longer be the nice guy who readily helps, but just the easy target on the floor. To avoid getting bogged down in this unhealthy relationship, just follow a few rules.
Identify the sensitive chord he's playing on
Without kidding yourself, first answer the preliminary question: why me? Why is it to my desk that this nuisance systematically goes when he wants to get rid of a difficult file? In this area, know that there is no coincidence: when one is a victim of this kind of abuse, it is because the abuser has sniffed out an easy prey. There are three main types of profiles among the personalities who let themselves be manipulated: the nice one, who likes to please others without ulterior motives; the modest one, who prefers to work behind the scenes rather than defend his positions as a leader; finally, the savior, who feels valued as soon as he gets his colleagues out of a bad situation. If you think you recognize yourself in one of these portraits, beware: you risk being spotted by the harassers. Without going so far as to hide your personality, it is therefore essential that you learn to temper these facets of your character. And, before asking yourself what your interlocutor has in mind when he asks you for help, try to determine what you personally have to gain (gratitude you think you will arouse, feeling of feeling indispensable...) or to lose (time, fatigue, risk of doing your own work badly...). You will then be able to decide in full knowledge of the facts whether you should accept, dodge or refuse.
Refuse without feeling obliged to justify yourself
If you are already overloaded with work, if you make it a matter of principle or, quite simply, if you don't want to help the solicitor, don't feel guilty. After all, nothing obliges you to take charge of files that are not your responsibility. You simply need to refuse your colleague's request outright. In this case, don't justify yourself, especially. Each excuse is indeed equivalent to opening a breach into which your interlocutor will inevitably rush. This is what happened to this consultant who could no longer bear spending his weekends rereading and correcting the reports of another. He had the misfortune to invoke an outing with his children to motivate his refusal. His colleague retorted by inviting him and his family to his son's birthday, adding: "You'll take the opportunity to take a look at my report." In order to avoid such traps, just answer: "No, I don't want to." No need to add "sorry" or to apologize. However, omit any moral judgment that could affect your future relations: no "You should be ashamed" or "That's not done". It's not about saying no to the person, but to the request they are making.
Accept, but set your conditions
You may be one of those people for whom opposing a categorical refusal is an insurmountable ordeal. If it is impossible for you not to give in, at least force yourself to put a condition on your acceptance. And the more important the service, the more you will raise the stakes. By doing so, this product manager managed to discourage the solicitations of one of his counterparts: the first time the latter wanted to delegate part of his PowerPoint presentation to him, he replied that he agreed if his name appeared on the document. When, on another project, the colleague again requested his help, he then demanded to co-animate the meeting. Result: the person left with his files under his arm without asking for anything else. If she had accepted, the game would also have been worth the candle, because this extra work would have served the career of the manager in question. Turn the situation to your advantage Let's push this reasoning to its logical conclusion. What if you used your "weakness" to gain the upper hand over your colleague? By accepting to do the dirty work for him, he will feel indebted. This is what the anthropologist Claude Lévi-Strauss calls the "debt system": in any society based on exchange, the initial giver always ends up receiving in return. There is no need to demand immediate compensation from your "debtor". It is better to wait for the day when you absolutely need him: he will then have no choice but to help you. And it may be that what you ask him for will be more painful than what you did for him. Two caveats to this strategy, however. Nothing guarantees that he will recognize his debt. In this case, you will have lost your bet. Moreover, beware of the perverse effects of this tactic. When erected into a system, it gives rise to relationships in which everyone "holds" everyone else, in a dehumanized universe whose only law is that of give and take.
Request arbitration as a last resort
If you really don't know how to get out of it, you may be tempted to refer the matter to the head of department. It is better, however, to avoid getting to this point. This would put you in a weak position vis-à-vis your manager. This pharmaceutical industry representative had a bitter experience of this. Annoyed at having to do the work of two people, he requested the arbitration of his sales director. The latter gave him a non-response: "If you can't manage this type of problem, it's because you don't have the shoulders for the job." However, if you feel that you are dealing with a colleague who is abusing the situation, you will inevitably have to go through external help: your case may indeed constitute moral harassment. Before contacting management, take care to build a solid case so that your credibility is not questioned. Try to produce documents - e-mails, letters, handwritten notes - attesting that you have indeed repeatedly performed the task of another and that you have tried, in vain, to solve the problem discreetly and amicably. Because, to convince your hierarchy, you will have to prove that the maneuver is systematic or at least regular.
Interview by Stéphane Régy
Published on March 24, 2009
Posted online on April 6, 2009
capital.fr
