Your boss is indecisive, angry, anxious? Learn how to manage them.
21 January 2013
Read by 1587 persons
It is important to work with your superior's personality to improve your relationship.
The ideal manager? Someone who listens to others, is a teacher, is able to trust, to recognize everyone's work... At least that's what the 6,800 employees recently interviewed in eleven countries by the consulting firm BPI think. Does such a boss exist? No, according to more than a quarter of the French. "Nobody's perfect": whether he is a little soft, too stressed or downright bad-tempered, you must learn to work with your superior's personality. And you will only succeed if you decipher how they work. The stakes are high: it's about building a constructive relationship to work in a serene atmosphere. By skillfully doing so, you can even make your boss a valuable support for your future career. To do this, identify their profile and discover how to adapt your behavior.
Is he perpetually indecisive? Do the work for him
"I couldn't threaten him with a Kalashnikov to force him to decide," jokes François Hauser, associate director of Neoxia (IT consulting). At the time, this manager was less smiling: head of division in a French IT company, he was faced with an indecisive boss. "My boss was unable to commit, even on minor issues, and constantly backed down," he says. "But I needed his signature both to create a new position and to offer a discounted price to a client."
Obviously, by keeping all options open, nothing moves forward. "You have to do the analysis and synthesis work instead of the indecisive superior," recommends Yvon Berl, a coach at Zathinoé (development consulting). "Propose three options in line with the company's spirit, highlighting the advantages and disadvantages of each. Even indicate the one you prefer." By intervening in the decision-making process, you will lighten his load: the person concerned will have the impression that the responsibility is diluted and will end up adopting one of the three options or finding a fourth. François Hauser used another technique with his boss: "I asked him a series of closed questions, to which he could only answer "yes" or "no." The goal was to get him into a "yes" spiral, until there was only one choice left." Only try this if you have enough weight in the team.
He is very anxious? Reassure him constantly
For him, the future is a threat: he fears not meeting deadlines, not being up to the task, imagines the worst. "He lives with a sword of Damocles hanging over his head," summarizes Daniel Eppling, coach and partner at Krauthammer. His moods risk contaminating the team. To counter his pessimism, be ultra-reassuring. Avoid evasive answers or frivolous promises: "Don't worry, I'm handling the situation." Avoid unforeseen events that paralyze him. He needs visibility, so anticipate. He has to go to an important meeting? Prepare the documents in advance and imagine all the possible pitfalls (late delivery, unavailability of a key expert, etc.).
Be positive: talk about good news, not your own worries. Nothing is worse for an anxious person than to meet another one. In case of difficulty, offer a solution. Finally, to give him the feeling of controlling the situation, keep him informed of the success of your actions. This is how Fatima Lahmadi calmed her boss's anxieties when she was a training consultant: "He was always afraid that we wouldn't fill our training courses. So I called him to debrief as soon as I left a meeting with a client and I sent him a written report in the evening."
If his attitude doesn't change, skillfully question him about the origin of his anxiety by asking why it wouldn't work. "Remind him that everything went well in similar situations," recommends Martine-Eva Launet, personal effectiveness consultant at Cegos. "He needs to become aware of his flaw."
He is very anxious? Reassure him constantly
For him, the future is a threat: he fears not meeting deadlines, not being up to the task, imagines the worst. "He lives with a sword of Damocles hanging over his head," summarizes Daniel Eppling, coach and partner at Krauthammer. His moods risk contaminating the team. To counter his pessimism, be ultra-reassuring. Avoid evasive answers or frivolous promises: "Don't worry, I'm handling the situation." Avoid unforeseen events that paralyze him. He needs visibility, so anticipate. He has to go to an important meeting? Prepare the documents in advance and imagine all the possible pitfalls (late delivery, unavailability of a key expert, etc.).
Be positive: talk about good news, not your own worries. Nothing is worse for an anxious person than to meet another one. In case of difficulty, offer a solution. Finally, to give him the feeling of controlling the situation, keep him informed of the success of your actions. This is how Fatima Lahmadi calmed her boss's anxieties when she was a training consultant: "He was always afraid that we wouldn't fill our training courses. So I called him to debrief as soon as I left a meeting with a client and I sent him a written report in the evening."
If his attitude doesn't change, skillfully question him about the origin of his anxiety by asking why it wouldn't work. "Remind him that everything went well in similar situations," recommends Martine-Eva Launet, personal effectiveness consultant at Cegos. "He needs to become aware of his flaw."
He is disorganized? Be organized for two
Creative, this one! He constantly launches projects, ideas abound... But he doesn't prioritize them, forgets his appointments and doesn't anticipate deadlines. "This profile works through hyperlinks, with permanent mental trees," explains Martine-Eva Launet. "He thinks, but in a zigzag way." Excellent for brainstorming, but catastrophic as soon as execution is involved. Even if he refuses to admit it, this type of boss suffers from his disorganization. The solution? Be organized for two. He will be grateful for discreetly filling his gaps. Act subtly because if your role is too visible he will get angry: he doesn't like order, and even less being confronted with his weaknesses. To remind him of a deadline on a file, send an email a few days in advance: "As planned, I will return this part to you on Tuesday..." He has an appointment with a major client? In the morning, talk to him about the client to make sure he hasn't forgotten him.
To survive in this artistic blur, adopt a few reflexes: at the beginning of each week, review your schedule and his, to agree on a roadmap. "A draft on a piece of paper will suffice," specifies Daniel Feisthammel. "A too polished document won't fit his world." And in order not to frighten him, add a dose of flexibility: "These are guidelines but we can change them." If, despite these precautions, he doesn't give you the information you need to finalize a document, present him with a fait accompli: "Unless I hear otherwise from you, I will submit the text as is to the CEO on Monday.
He is a workaholic? Set limits immediately
A mobile phone and a landline between which she juggles, two computers on, an assistant at attention... This CEO of a division of L'Oréal has the typical profile of a "workaholic." And of a torturer for her teams. "She called me at 7 a.m. when I was in the shower, then at 8 a.m., in the car. When I arrived at the office, I had already had three calls from her," says Frédérique, her former marketing director. This type of boss is very demanding of himself and others. "He always wants to do more to prove to himself that he can do it," explains Alex Mucchielli.
You have to make him accept the possibility of acting differently." Frédérique had thus developed counter-attacks. "When I saw her swallowing her lunch in ten minutes, I said to her: "You know, it's bad for your health to eat so fast." Which implied: slow down with me too." In order not to be trapped at the time of the holidays, she booked her plane tickets six months in advance. Impossible to cancel them when, three weeks before leaving, her boss asked her to stay.
If you are the victim of such a workaholic, refocus him on his priorities: what is the urgency of his requests? Even if it means letting those that seem minor and will probably be obsolete the next day linger. Draw up a task schedule so that he can visualize everything he demands of you. Finally, except in exceptional cases, do not accumulate overtime. You would be putting your finger in a dangerous gear.
Marie-Madeleine Sève.
Capital.fr
Posted online January 21, 2013.
The ideal manager? Someone who listens to others, is a teacher, is able to trust, to recognize everyone's work... At least that's what the 6,800 employees recently interviewed in eleven countries by the consulting firm BPI think. Does such a boss exist? No, according to more than a quarter of the French. "Nobody's perfect": whether he is a little soft, too stressed or downright bad-tempered, you must learn to work with your superior's personality. And you will only succeed if you decipher how they work. The stakes are high: it's about building a constructive relationship to work in a serene atmosphere. By skillfully doing so, you can even make your boss a valuable support for your future career. To do this, identify their profile and discover how to adapt your behavior.
Is he perpetually indecisive? Do the work for him
"I couldn't threaten him with a Kalashnikov to force him to decide," jokes François Hauser, associate director of Neoxia (IT consulting). At the time, this manager was less smiling: head of division in a French IT company, he was faced with an indecisive boss. "My boss was unable to commit, even on minor issues, and constantly backed down," he says. "But I needed his signature both to create a new position and to offer a discounted price to a client."
Obviously, by keeping all options open, nothing moves forward. "You have to do the analysis and synthesis work instead of the indecisive superior," recommends Yvon Berl, a coach at Zathinoé (development consulting). "Propose three options in line with the company's spirit, highlighting the advantages and disadvantages of each. Even indicate the one you prefer." By intervening in the decision-making process, you will lighten his load: the person concerned will have the impression that the responsibility is diluted and will end up adopting one of the three options or finding a fourth. François Hauser used another technique with his boss: "I asked him a series of closed questions, to which he could only answer "yes" or "no." The goal was to get him into a "yes" spiral, until there was only one choice left." Only try this if you have enough weight in the team.
He is very anxious? Reassure him constantly
For him, the future is a threat: he fears not meeting deadlines, not being up to the task, imagines the worst. "He lives with a sword of Damocles hanging over his head," summarizes Daniel Eppling, coach and partner at Krauthammer. His moods risk contaminating the team. To counter his pessimism, be ultra-reassuring. Avoid evasive answers or frivolous promises: "Don't worry, I'm handling the situation." Avoid unforeseen events that paralyze him. He needs visibility, so anticipate. He has to go to an important meeting? Prepare the documents in advance and imagine all the possible pitfalls (late delivery, unavailability of a key expert, etc.).
Be positive: talk about good news, not your own worries. Nothing is worse for an anxious person than to meet another one. In case of difficulty, offer a solution. Finally, to give him the feeling of controlling the situation, keep him informed of the success of your actions. This is how Fatima Lahmadi calmed her boss's anxieties when she was a training consultant: "He was always afraid that we wouldn't fill our training courses. So I called him to debrief as soon as I left a meeting with a client and I sent him a written report in the evening."
If his attitude doesn't change, skillfully question him about the origin of his anxiety by asking why it wouldn't work. "Remind him that everything went well in similar situations," recommends Martine-Eva Launet, personal effectiveness consultant at Cegos. "He needs to become aware of his flaw."
He is very anxious? Reassure him constantly
For him, the future is a threat: he fears not meeting deadlines, not being up to the task, imagines the worst. "He lives with a sword of Damocles hanging over his head," summarizes Daniel Eppling, coach and partner at Krauthammer. His moods risk contaminating the team. To counter his pessimism, be ultra-reassuring. Avoid evasive answers or frivolous promises: "Don't worry, I'm handling the situation." Avoid unforeseen events that paralyze him. He needs visibility, so anticipate. He has to go to an important meeting? Prepare the documents in advance and imagine all the possible pitfalls (late delivery, unavailability of a key expert, etc.).
Be positive: talk about good news, not your own worries. Nothing is worse for an anxious person than to meet another one. In case of difficulty, offer a solution. Finally, to give him the feeling of controlling the situation, keep him informed of the success of your actions. This is how Fatima Lahmadi calmed her boss's anxieties when she was a training consultant: "He was always afraid that we wouldn't fill our training courses. So I called him to debrief as soon as I left a meeting with a client and I sent him a written report in the evening."
If his attitude doesn't change, skillfully question him about the origin of his anxiety by asking why it wouldn't work. "Remind him that everything went well in similar situations," recommends Martine-Eva Launet, personal effectiveness consultant at Cegos. "He needs to become aware of his flaw."
He is disorganized? Be organized for two
Creative, this one! He constantly launches projects, ideas abound... But he doesn't prioritize them, forgets his appointments and doesn't anticipate deadlines. "This profile works through hyperlinks, with permanent mental trees," explains Martine-Eva Launet. "He thinks, but in a zigzag way." Excellent for brainstorming, but catastrophic as soon as execution is involved. Even if he refuses to admit it, this type of boss suffers from his disorganization. The solution? Be organized for two. He will be grateful for discreetly filling his gaps. Act subtly because if your role is too visible he will get angry: he doesn't like order, and even less being confronted with his weaknesses. To remind him of a deadline on a file, send an email a few days in advance: "As planned, I will return this part to you on Tuesday..." He has an appointment with a major client? In the morning, talk to him about the client to make sure he hasn't forgotten him.
To survive in this artistic blur, adopt a few reflexes: at the beginning of each week, review your schedule and his, to agree on a roadmap. "A draft on a piece of paper will suffice," specifies Daniel Feisthammel. "A too polished document won't fit his world." And in order not to frighten him, add a dose of flexibility: "These are guidelines but we can change them." If, despite these precautions, he doesn't give you the information you need to finalize a document, present him with a fait accompli: "Unless I hear otherwise from you, I will submit the text as is to the CEO on Monday.
He is a workaholic? Set limits immediately
A mobile phone and a landline between which she juggles, two computers on, an assistant at attention... This CEO of a division of L'Oréal has the typical profile of a "workaholic." And of a torturer for her teams. "She called me at 7 a.m. when I was in the shower, then at 8 a.m., in the car. When I arrived at the office, I had already had three calls from her," says Frédérique, her former marketing director. This type of boss is very demanding of himself and others. "He always wants to do more to prove to himself that he can do it," explains Alex Mucchielli.
You have to make him accept the possibility of acting differently." Frédérique had thus developed counter-attacks. "When I saw her swallowing her lunch in ten minutes, I said to her: "You know, it's bad for your health to eat so fast." Which implied: slow down with me too." In order not to be trapped at the time of the holidays, she booked her plane tickets six months in advance. Impossible to cancel them when, three weeks before leaving, her boss asked her to stay.
If you are the victim of such a workaholic, refocus him on his priorities: what is the urgency of his requests? Even if it means letting those that seem minor and will probably be obsolete the next day linger. Draw up a task schedule so that he can visualize everything he demands of you. Finally, except in exceptional cases, do not accumulate overtime. You would be putting your finger in a dangerous gear.
Marie-Madeleine Sève.
Capital.fr
Posted online January 21, 2013.
