Learn to be quiet
27 August 2014
Read by 4308 persons
Often considered an uncomfortable immobility, silence is nevertheless a formidable weapon for those who know how to use it wisely. As the saying goes, speech is silver, silence is gold, so why are we so afraid of it? Why does it make us so uncomfortable, especially when we are in front of an audience?
It's true, and I'm the first to admit it, learning to be quiet is not easy, but when you know how many benefits there are, it may be time to make an effort and learn to listen... before speaking...
Knowing how to be quiet is above all...
Showing real listening, showing the consideration you give to your interlocutor. By taking the trouble to listen, we allow our interlocutor to complete his thought without bouncing back thinking we understand what he means before he has finished saying it...
We also give him the possibility of deepening his subject and saying a little more than he initially planned to say. Thus we allow him to begin to become aware, necessary for any action of change!
Also, silence is an excellent way, in many cases, to defuse conflict situations... Replace the "calm down!" which will only increase frustration and anger, with a simple silence and you will see the surprising effect it will have on people...
But also...
Silence is a way to strengthen our position, to give weight to a question or remark. It can also be a formidable way to avoid saying anything stupid in the heat of the moment or thinking we have understood our interlocutor by giving him a ready-made solution.
In a face-to-face exchange, silence can be an important generator of trust. It makes our words credible and demonstrates that we master our subject. A silence, before speaking, always gives impact to what will follow...
Managers, be aware, this communication style is much richer and more relevant than wanting at all costs to impose your point of view at any cost on your collaborators. Listening and letting proposals flow freely encourage dialogue where everyone will express themselves in a non-conflictual way to enrich what has just been said rather than fighting to defend an opposing point of view.
However, beware, silence misused can on the contrary definitively harm you! It's not about letting silence settle in and looking elsewhere... It is essential to maintain connection with your interlocutor and to adapt all your para-verbal communication to the different emotions you want to create and convey to your interlocutor at that precise moment.
Philippe Montant
General Manager of ReKrute
It's true, and I'm the first to admit it, learning to be quiet is not easy, but when you know how many benefits there are, it may be time to make an effort and learn to listen... before speaking...
Knowing how to be quiet is above all...
Showing real listening, showing the consideration you give to your interlocutor. By taking the trouble to listen, we allow our interlocutor to complete his thought without bouncing back thinking we understand what he means before he has finished saying it...
We also give him the possibility of deepening his subject and saying a little more than he initially planned to say. Thus we allow him to begin to become aware, necessary for any action of change!
Also, silence is an excellent way, in many cases, to defuse conflict situations... Replace the "calm down!" which will only increase frustration and anger, with a simple silence and you will see the surprising effect it will have on people...
But also...
Silence is a way to strengthen our position, to give weight to a question or remark. It can also be a formidable way to avoid saying anything stupid in the heat of the moment or thinking we have understood our interlocutor by giving him a ready-made solution.
In a face-to-face exchange, silence can be an important generator of trust. It makes our words credible and demonstrates that we master our subject. A silence, before speaking, always gives impact to what will follow...
Managers, be aware, this communication style is much richer and more relevant than wanting at all costs to impose your point of view at any cost on your collaborators. Listening and letting proposals flow freely encourage dialogue where everyone will express themselves in a non-conflictual way to enrich what has just been said rather than fighting to defend an opposing point of view.
However, beware, silence misused can on the contrary definitively harm you! It's not about letting silence settle in and looking elsewhere... It is essential to maintain connection with your interlocutor and to adapt all your para-verbal communication to the different emotions you want to create and convey to your interlocutor at that precise moment.
Philippe Montant
General Manager of ReKrute
