Achieving Success Through Assertiveness
15 April 2013
Read by 1619 persons
Learn how to assert yourself. How to achieve your goals, regain strength, and overcome setbacks through positively used assertiveness.
Pulling your interlocutor towards you, looking them in the eye and hissing “Out of my way!”. When you say this twice, push the opponent aside, and the next one immediately finds themselves in front of you; this exercise has something to do with assertiveness.
The "Chili Strategy"
This is called a disinhibition exercise and is part of management seminars at the Gottlieb Duttweiler Institute for Economics and Society in Zurich. Here, managers learn to use positive aggression. Professor Jens Weidner, an educator and criminologist, calls his program the "chili strategy." Managers from Switzerland, Germany, and Austria are supposed to benefit from it.
“Positive assertiveness is like chess,” Weidner tells us. It has nothing to do with fits of anger, but rather with tactics. “It’s the courage to overcome resistance, to overcome obstacles, and not to be discouraged.” You could also call it the strength to assert yourself, to be assertive, or the fact of having bite.
Don't fight against, but for something
An important characteristic of positive assertiveness is its direction. “It’s not about fighting against something, but for something,” says Hedwig Kellner, a management trainer in Halstenbek. For example, for resources you need as a project manager. Or for a good working atmosphere. Or for misunderstandings to be clarified and disappear. “It’s never about harming someone or acting selfishly at the expense of the company or colleagues.”
Hedwig Kellner considers several qualities as decisive:
Self-confident, but not arrogant
Courageous, but not reckless
Combative, but not mean
Optimistic, but not naive
Dynamic, but not frantic
A strong sense of reality is also important: “I only fight when I have at least a 51 percent chance of success,” says Jens Weidner. It’s better to avoid showdowns you’re sure to lose and be less demanding. Indeed, qualities of a good receiver are also part of positive aggression. “We live in a culture of jealousy. If you’re successful, you will certainly be criticized.”
React immediately to rumors
Those who seek confrontation are not suitable for a mediator role. It is better to accept it and sometimes let your qualities shine subtly during a coffee break. This gets into people’s heads and spreads, says Weidner.
You must react immediately to negative rumors about yourself. Someone who goes to the personnel representative and the boss, and who, in the best case, provides evidence, shows firmness. And when a 40-year-old woman who wants a highly sought-after position is told she wants to start a family, she can immediately go to the highest authority. She can say that the absence of children is not desired but unfortunately irreversible—even if it is possibly not true.
Being resentful—for your own advantage
Furthermore, it’s better to be resentful and remember people who, for example, always cause good project ideas to fail. To change this, you can certainly slip into their network and ask your superior to influence the situation. Such an analysis of opponents also helps to avoid inadvertently doing a favor to someone who wants more power. Instead, it’s better to exclude them from the loop and not even lend them a pencil.
Are you allowed to behave this way? Yes, you can, as long as you want to get things moving, says the scientist. After all, it’s also about asserting yourself against career climbers and bluffers and getting through your professional life without prejudice.
Regaining strength after setbacks
Margit Voglhoder has also observed that this is becoming increasingly difficult. This career advisor from Vienna considers assertiveness important, especially for managers. Indeed, this feeling shows when a limit is exceeded and provides the necessary impetus to assert oneself.
She refers to the meaning of the Latin word “aggredi,” which, in addition to “attack,” also means “advance.” Assertiveness is also a force that keeps you moving, that gives you the energy to present yourself again after setbacks. “Someone who has been disappointed or hurt many times can be helped by anger to tackle things again,” she says. Going directly towards something—that is exactly the meaning. But there is one thing you are not allowed to do in the sense of positive aggression: give free rein to your feelings. Voglhofer and Weidner advise calming down and thinking judiciously before defending yourself.
Monster.ch
Posted on April 15, 2013.
Pulling your interlocutor towards you, looking them in the eye and hissing “Out of my way!”. When you say this twice, push the opponent aside, and the next one immediately finds themselves in front of you; this exercise has something to do with assertiveness.
The "Chili Strategy"
This is called a disinhibition exercise and is part of management seminars at the Gottlieb Duttweiler Institute for Economics and Society in Zurich. Here, managers learn to use positive aggression. Professor Jens Weidner, an educator and criminologist, calls his program the "chili strategy." Managers from Switzerland, Germany, and Austria are supposed to benefit from it.
“Positive assertiveness is like chess,” Weidner tells us. It has nothing to do with fits of anger, but rather with tactics. “It’s the courage to overcome resistance, to overcome obstacles, and not to be discouraged.” You could also call it the strength to assert yourself, to be assertive, or the fact of having bite.
Don't fight against, but for something
An important characteristic of positive assertiveness is its direction. “It’s not about fighting against something, but for something,” says Hedwig Kellner, a management trainer in Halstenbek. For example, for resources you need as a project manager. Or for a good working atmosphere. Or for misunderstandings to be clarified and disappear. “It’s never about harming someone or acting selfishly at the expense of the company or colleagues.”
Hedwig Kellner considers several qualities as decisive:
Self-confident, but not arrogant
Courageous, but not reckless
Combative, but not mean
Optimistic, but not naive
Dynamic, but not frantic
A strong sense of reality is also important: “I only fight when I have at least a 51 percent chance of success,” says Jens Weidner. It’s better to avoid showdowns you’re sure to lose and be less demanding. Indeed, qualities of a good receiver are also part of positive aggression. “We live in a culture of jealousy. If you’re successful, you will certainly be criticized.”
React immediately to rumors
Those who seek confrontation are not suitable for a mediator role. It is better to accept it and sometimes let your qualities shine subtly during a coffee break. This gets into people’s heads and spreads, says Weidner.
You must react immediately to negative rumors about yourself. Someone who goes to the personnel representative and the boss, and who, in the best case, provides evidence, shows firmness. And when a 40-year-old woman who wants a highly sought-after position is told she wants to start a family, she can immediately go to the highest authority. She can say that the absence of children is not desired but unfortunately irreversible—even if it is possibly not true.
Being resentful—for your own advantage
Furthermore, it’s better to be resentful and remember people who, for example, always cause good project ideas to fail. To change this, you can certainly slip into their network and ask your superior to influence the situation. Such an analysis of opponents also helps to avoid inadvertently doing a favor to someone who wants more power. Instead, it’s better to exclude them from the loop and not even lend them a pencil.
Are you allowed to behave this way? Yes, you can, as long as you want to get things moving, says the scientist. After all, it’s also about asserting yourself against career climbers and bluffers and getting through your professional life without prejudice.
Regaining strength after setbacks
Margit Voglhoder has also observed that this is becoming increasingly difficult. This career advisor from Vienna considers assertiveness important, especially for managers. Indeed, this feeling shows when a limit is exceeded and provides the necessary impetus to assert oneself.
She refers to the meaning of the Latin word “aggredi,” which, in addition to “attack,” also means “advance.” Assertiveness is also a force that keeps you moving, that gives you the energy to present yourself again after setbacks. “Someone who has been disappointed or hurt many times can be helped by anger to tackle things again,” she says. Going directly towards something—that is exactly the meaning. But there is one thing you are not allowed to do in the sense of positive aggression: give free rein to your feelings. Voglhofer and Weidner advise calming down and thinking judiciously before defending yourself.
Monster.ch
Posted on April 15, 2013.
