How to deal with professional failure?
30 July 2012
Read by 2273 persons
Don't try too hard to succeed or be too afraid of failure, says Philippe Laurent, coach and speaker. Because both are just "possible outcomes, two sides of the same coin."
[Express Yourself] Don't prepare to succeed for fear of failure. Don't look at failure to better succeed. What if success and failure were only results? To err is human. We know the saying well. Between a simple mistake that wastes time for a distracted driver –and annoys their teammate– and a mistake about a person that heavily impacts a shared commitment, we can include the many mistakes we all make every day.
Making mistakes is normal for most of us; we must acknowledge this. It is in recognizing these almost daily mistakes that they have only a minimal impact on our lives. A mistake isn't intentional and therefore doesn't involve the same degree of responsibility. It comes from a lack of attention, information, or knowledge.
When it becomes conscious, it requires repair and generates embarrassment. When I make a mistake, I have to redo it, backtrack, change my strategy, my way of doing things, correct it. A man would have to be "technically" perfect to not make mistakes. Thanks to mistakes, he can become aware of his "technical" limits and the necessary need to improve his level of knowledge of reality.
A fault, on the other hand, causes guilt because it is intentional: it is a deviation from an established law to which I am subject. Whether this law is formally written on paper or inscribed in our conscience, it exists and sets the limits between what is permitted and what is forbidden. I am at fault when I knowingly act outside of this framework. The feeling of guilt is therefore proportional to my awareness of what is right or wrong. Moralistic education that evaluates actions tends to increase the severity of a fault and exaggerate the feeling of guilt.
Conversely, the absence of a moral framework can make the subjective feeling of guilt disappear, while objective guilt remains. When I fail, I must redeem myself or be redeemed to free myself from the feeling of guilt. A man would have to be "morally" perfect not to fail. Thanks to fault, he becomes aware of his "moral" fragility and more easily tolerates that of others.
Unlike a mistake, which comes from a misunderstanding of reality, and a fault, which comes from a disregard for the established moral framework, failure is an internal rejection of non-performance. There is failure insofar as there is a stake, and the failure is as great as that stake. Someone who doesn't set themselves the goal of succeeding thereby avoids finding themselves in a situation of failure.
That's the paradox, because in doing so, they reduce their chances of success. They prefer not to want success than to potentially experience failure. When the result comes, it is received and experienced as a bland, tasteless given: if it's good, it doesn't provoke pride but rather surprise at something unearned; if it's bad, it doesn't provoke sadness or disappointment, but a certain negative self-feeling. Accepting failure as such is preparing to bounce back because it reduces its devaluing power. On the contrary, not wanting to face failure is letting it drag us into its negative spiral.
To bounce back after failure, you have to accept "hitting rock bottom," reconnecting with our reality. I didn't succeed, that's a fact! But what's at stake for me? What does this situation teach me about myself, my work methods, my relationships with others, my limits, and my essential needs? What resources am I ready to mobilize to resurface? What do I want to experience again and better?
Wanting to "succeed in life" is a natural aspiration of our being, which goes hand in hand with our aspiration to happiness. But it's too often the obligation to conform to a model we've built based on injunctions. "Truly succeeding in life" is living what we want to live, realizing our own ambitions and not those that others have for us. But this life that belongs to us necessarily includes its share of good surprises and trials. Accepting this reality makes us love life and gives us the strength to fight. Refusing this reality hardens and exhausts us.
There is professional failure when there is a failure to achieve set objectives, a failure to realize our ambitions. There is success when there is recognition of this achievement and realization. Failure and success are therefore directly linked to the nature of objectives and ambitions. An unrealistic objective will lead to failure; a lack of ambition will prevent the experience of success. Taking the road to success is accepting the risk of failure. Can we escape this dualistic vision? Can we take another path? Yes.
Success and failure are two sides of the same coin: both are results. They are therefore only the consequences of a process, an operating method. Trying too hard to succeed or fearing failure is pointless. The essential thing is to put yourself in the conditions to succeed, progressively adopting the operating method that allows us to give the best of ourselves. Someone who wants to reach a summit lives their ascent better by looking at the path they are treading than by looking at the summit itself.
The whole art of management is to put one's employee in a position to succeed. There's no point in pushing someone towards the obligatory achievement of their objectives, because forcing nature kills it. Putting someone in a position to succeed is to gradually make them experience that they are capable of correctly performing increasingly complex tasks. It is also to support them in effectively dealing with the difficulties they encounter. Encouragement and congratulations are therefore the two arms of the benevolent manager. Encouragement helps overcome the fear of failure, and congratulations allow one to taste the joy of success.
Philippe Laurent (Express Yourself).
Lexpress.fr
Published July 23, 2012.
Posted online July 30, 2012.
[Express Yourself] Don't prepare to succeed for fear of failure. Don't look at failure to better succeed. What if success and failure were only results? To err is human. We know the saying well. Between a simple mistake that wastes time for a distracted driver –and annoys their teammate– and a mistake about a person that heavily impacts a shared commitment, we can include the many mistakes we all make every day.
Making mistakes is normal for most of us; we must acknowledge this. It is in recognizing these almost daily mistakes that they have only a minimal impact on our lives. A mistake isn't intentional and therefore doesn't involve the same degree of responsibility. It comes from a lack of attention, information, or knowledge.
When it becomes conscious, it requires repair and generates embarrassment. When I make a mistake, I have to redo it, backtrack, change my strategy, my way of doing things, correct it. A man would have to be "technically" perfect to not make mistakes. Thanks to mistakes, he can become aware of his "technical" limits and the necessary need to improve his level of knowledge of reality.
A fault, on the other hand, causes guilt because it is intentional: it is a deviation from an established law to which I am subject. Whether this law is formally written on paper or inscribed in our conscience, it exists and sets the limits between what is permitted and what is forbidden. I am at fault when I knowingly act outside of this framework. The feeling of guilt is therefore proportional to my awareness of what is right or wrong. Moralistic education that evaluates actions tends to increase the severity of a fault and exaggerate the feeling of guilt.
Conversely, the absence of a moral framework can make the subjective feeling of guilt disappear, while objective guilt remains. When I fail, I must redeem myself or be redeemed to free myself from the feeling of guilt. A man would have to be "morally" perfect not to fail. Thanks to fault, he becomes aware of his "moral" fragility and more easily tolerates that of others.
Unlike a mistake, which comes from a misunderstanding of reality, and a fault, which comes from a disregard for the established moral framework, failure is an internal rejection of non-performance. There is failure insofar as there is a stake, and the failure is as great as that stake. Someone who doesn't set themselves the goal of succeeding thereby avoids finding themselves in a situation of failure.
That's the paradox, because in doing so, they reduce their chances of success. They prefer not to want success than to potentially experience failure. When the result comes, it is received and experienced as a bland, tasteless given: if it's good, it doesn't provoke pride but rather surprise at something unearned; if it's bad, it doesn't provoke sadness or disappointment, but a certain negative self-feeling. Accepting failure as such is preparing to bounce back because it reduces its devaluing power. On the contrary, not wanting to face failure is letting it drag us into its negative spiral.
To bounce back after failure, you have to accept "hitting rock bottom," reconnecting with our reality. I didn't succeed, that's a fact! But what's at stake for me? What does this situation teach me about myself, my work methods, my relationships with others, my limits, and my essential needs? What resources am I ready to mobilize to resurface? What do I want to experience again and better?
Wanting to "succeed in life" is a natural aspiration of our being, which goes hand in hand with our aspiration to happiness. But it's too often the obligation to conform to a model we've built based on injunctions. "Truly succeeding in life" is living what we want to live, realizing our own ambitions and not those that others have for us. But this life that belongs to us necessarily includes its share of good surprises and trials. Accepting this reality makes us love life and gives us the strength to fight. Refusing this reality hardens and exhausts us.
There is professional failure when there is a failure to achieve set objectives, a failure to realize our ambitions. There is success when there is recognition of this achievement and realization. Failure and success are therefore directly linked to the nature of objectives and ambitions. An unrealistic objective will lead to failure; a lack of ambition will prevent the experience of success. Taking the road to success is accepting the risk of failure. Can we escape this dualistic vision? Can we take another path? Yes.
Success and failure are two sides of the same coin: both are results. They are therefore only the consequences of a process, an operating method. Trying too hard to succeed or fearing failure is pointless. The essential thing is to put yourself in the conditions to succeed, progressively adopting the operating method that allows us to give the best of ourselves. Someone who wants to reach a summit lives their ascent better by looking at the path they are treading than by looking at the summit itself.
The whole art of management is to put one's employee in a position to succeed. There's no point in pushing someone towards the obligatory achievement of their objectives, because forcing nature kills it. Putting someone in a position to succeed is to gradually make them experience that they are capable of correctly performing increasingly complex tasks. It is also to support them in effectively dealing with the difficulties they encounter. Encouragement and congratulations are therefore the two arms of the benevolent manager. Encouragement helps overcome the fear of failure, and congratulations allow one to taste the joy of success.
Philippe Laurent (Express Yourself).
Lexpress.fr
Published July 23, 2012.
Posted online July 30, 2012.
