How to deal with professional failure?
13 August 2012
Read by 2219 persons
It's useless to seek success eagerly or to fear failure, believes Philippe Laurent, coach and speaker. Because both are only "possible results, two sides of the same coin".
[Express Yourself] Don't prepare yourself to succeed, for fear of risking failure. Don't look at failure to better succeed. What if success and failure were ultimately just results? To err is human. We know the saying well. Between a minor mistake that wastes time for a distracted driver -and annoys his teammate- and a mistake about a person that heavily impacts a shared commitment, we can include the many mistakes we all make every day.
Making mistakes is normal for most of us, we must acknowledge it. It is also by acknowledging these almost daily mistakes that they have only a minimal impact on our lives. The mistake is not intentional and therefore does not imply the same degree of responsibility. It comes from a lack of attention, information or knowledge.
When it becomes conscious, it requires repair and generates embarrassment. When I make a mistake, I have to redo it, retrace my steps, change my strategy, my way of doing things, correct it. A man would have to be "technically" perfect not to make mistakes. Thanks to mistakes, he can become aware of his "technical" limits and the necessary need to improve his level of knowledge of reality.
The fault, on the other hand, generates guilt because it is intentional: it is a deviation from an established law to which I am subject. Whether this law is formally written on paper or inscribed in conscience, it exists and sets the limits between what is permitted and what is forbidden. I am at fault when I voluntarily act outside this framework. The feeling of guilt is therefore proportional to my awareness of what is right or wrong. The moralizing education that evaluates the action therefore tends to increase the gravity of the fault and to excessively develop the feeling of guilt.
Conversely, the absence of a moral framework can make the subjective feeling of guilt disappear, while objective guilt remains. When I fail, I must redeem myself or be redeemed to free myself from the feeling of guilt. A man would have to be "morally" perfect not to fail. Thanks to the fault, he becomes aware of his "moral" fragility and more easily tolerates that of others.
Unlike the mistake, which comes from a lack of knowledge of reality, and the fault, which comes from a lack of respect for the established moral framework, failure is the inner refusal of non-performance. There is failure to the extent that there is a stake, and failure is proportional to that stake. Whoever does not set a goal of success thereby avoids finding himself in a situation of failure.
This is the paradox because, in doing so, he reduces his chances of success. He prefers not to want success than to potentially suffer failure. When the result arrives, it is received and experienced as a bland and tasteless fact: if it is good, it does not provoke pride but rather surprise at something unearned; if it is bad, it does not provoke sadness or disappointment, but a certain negative feeling about oneself. Accepting failure as such is preparing to bounce back because it reduces its devaluing power. On the contrary, not wanting to face failure is letting it drag us into its negative spiral.
To bounce back after failure, it is necessary to accept "hitting bottom", to reconnect with our reality. I did not succeed, that's a fact! But what is the stake for me? What does this situation teach me about myself, about my work method, about my relationship with others, about my limits and my essential needs? What resources am I prepared to mobilize to resurface? What do I want to experience again and better?
Wanting to "succeed in life" is a natural aspiration of our person, which is combined with our aspiration to happiness. But it is too often the obligation to conform to a model that we have built on the basis of injunctions. "Truly succeeding in life" is living what we want to live, it's realizing our own ambitions and not those that others have for us. But this life that belongs to us necessarily includes its share of good surprises and trials. Accepting this reality makes us love life and gives us the strength to fight. Refusing this reality hardens and exhausts us.
There is professional failure when there is non-achievement of the set objectives, non-realization of our ambitions. There is success when there is recognition of this achievement and this realization. Failure and success are therefore directly linked to the nature of the objectives and ambitions. An unrealistic objective will lead to failure, a lack of ambition will prevent the experience of success. Taking the road to success is accepting the risk of failure. Can we escape this dualistic vision? Can we take another path? Yes.
Success and failure are two sides of the same coin: both are results. They are therefore only the consequences of a process, an operating mode. Seeking success eagerly or fearing failure is useless. The essential thing is to put oneself in the conditions to succeed, by gradually adopting the operating mode that allows us to give the best of ourselves. He who wants to reach a summit lives his ascent better by looking at the path he treads than by looking at the summit itself.
The whole art of management is to put one's collaborator in a position to succeed. It is useless to push the person towards the obligatory achievement of his objectives, because pulling on nature kills it. Putting the person in a position to succeed is to make him progressively experience that he is capable of correctly carrying out increasingly complex tasks. It is also to accompany him to effectively face the difficulties he encounters. Encouragement and congratulations are therefore the two arms of the benevolent manager. Encouragement helps overcome the fear of failure and congratulations allow one to savor the joy of success.
Philippe Laurent, speaker, coach and trainer.
Lexpress.fr
Published on July 23, 2012.
Posted online on August 13, 2012.
[Express Yourself] Don't prepare yourself to succeed, for fear of risking failure. Don't look at failure to better succeed. What if success and failure were ultimately just results? To err is human. We know the saying well. Between a minor mistake that wastes time for a distracted driver -and annoys his teammate- and a mistake about a person that heavily impacts a shared commitment, we can include the many mistakes we all make every day.
Making mistakes is normal for most of us, we must acknowledge it. It is also by acknowledging these almost daily mistakes that they have only a minimal impact on our lives. The mistake is not intentional and therefore does not imply the same degree of responsibility. It comes from a lack of attention, information or knowledge.
When it becomes conscious, it requires repair and generates embarrassment. When I make a mistake, I have to redo it, retrace my steps, change my strategy, my way of doing things, correct it. A man would have to be "technically" perfect not to make mistakes. Thanks to mistakes, he can become aware of his "technical" limits and the necessary need to improve his level of knowledge of reality.
The fault, on the other hand, generates guilt because it is intentional: it is a deviation from an established law to which I am subject. Whether this law is formally written on paper or inscribed in conscience, it exists and sets the limits between what is permitted and what is forbidden. I am at fault when I voluntarily act outside this framework. The feeling of guilt is therefore proportional to my awareness of what is right or wrong. The moralizing education that evaluates the action therefore tends to increase the gravity of the fault and to excessively develop the feeling of guilt.
Conversely, the absence of a moral framework can make the subjective feeling of guilt disappear, while objective guilt remains. When I fail, I must redeem myself or be redeemed to free myself from the feeling of guilt. A man would have to be "morally" perfect not to fail. Thanks to the fault, he becomes aware of his "moral" fragility and more easily tolerates that of others.
Unlike the mistake, which comes from a lack of knowledge of reality, and the fault, which comes from a lack of respect for the established moral framework, failure is the inner refusal of non-performance. There is failure to the extent that there is a stake, and failure is proportional to that stake. Whoever does not set a goal of success thereby avoids finding himself in a situation of failure.
This is the paradox because, in doing so, he reduces his chances of success. He prefers not to want success than to potentially suffer failure. When the result arrives, it is received and experienced as a bland and tasteless fact: if it is good, it does not provoke pride but rather surprise at something unearned; if it is bad, it does not provoke sadness or disappointment, but a certain negative feeling about oneself. Accepting failure as such is preparing to bounce back because it reduces its devaluing power. On the contrary, not wanting to face failure is letting it drag us into its negative spiral.
To bounce back after failure, it is necessary to accept "hitting bottom", to reconnect with our reality. I did not succeed, that's a fact! But what is the stake for me? What does this situation teach me about myself, about my work method, about my relationship with others, about my limits and my essential needs? What resources am I prepared to mobilize to resurface? What do I want to experience again and better?
Wanting to "succeed in life" is a natural aspiration of our person, which is combined with our aspiration to happiness. But it is too often the obligation to conform to a model that we have built on the basis of injunctions. "Truly succeeding in life" is living what we want to live, it's realizing our own ambitions and not those that others have for us. But this life that belongs to us necessarily includes its share of good surprises and trials. Accepting this reality makes us love life and gives us the strength to fight. Refusing this reality hardens and exhausts us.
There is professional failure when there is non-achievement of the set objectives, non-realization of our ambitions. There is success when there is recognition of this achievement and this realization. Failure and success are therefore directly linked to the nature of the objectives and ambitions. An unrealistic objective will lead to failure, a lack of ambition will prevent the experience of success. Taking the road to success is accepting the risk of failure. Can we escape this dualistic vision? Can we take another path? Yes.
Success and failure are two sides of the same coin: both are results. They are therefore only the consequences of a process, an operating mode. Seeking success eagerly or fearing failure is useless. The essential thing is to put oneself in the conditions to succeed, by gradually adopting the operating mode that allows us to give the best of ourselves. He who wants to reach a summit lives his ascent better by looking at the path he treads than by looking at the summit itself.
The whole art of management is to put one's collaborator in a position to succeed. It is useless to push the person towards the obligatory achievement of his objectives, because pulling on nature kills it. Putting the person in a position to succeed is to make him progressively experience that he is capable of correctly carrying out increasingly complex tasks. It is also to accompany him to effectively face the difficulties he encounters. Encouragement and congratulations are therefore the two arms of the benevolent manager. Encouragement helps overcome the fear of failure and congratulations allow one to savor the joy of success.
Philippe Laurent, speaker, coach and trainer.
Lexpress.fr
Published on July 23, 2012.
Posted online on August 13, 2012.
