How to assert yourself at work in 8 lessons?
14 June 2013
Read by 2267 persons
S'affirmer ? Is it to manifest oneself clearly, to become firmer, or to clearly manifest an aptitude, an opinion? Is it even a mixture of the three?
Whether it is a question of revealing one's value, defending a point of view brilliantly, managing conflicts or negotiating, knowing how to assert oneself is the way to make oneself heard and allows one to find a real balance in one's relationship with others, at work.
Here are some daily techniques to help with self-assertion:
1/ State your position, having heard the other person.
Always start by listening to your interlocutor and what is right in their speech. Then rephrase their reasons before stating your position by affirming what you have to say.
Example: "What he did to you is indeed inglorious and your reaction is perfectly understandable, but I think you should talk to him again."
2/ Repeat, insist intelligently.
Don't shy away from repeating, from restarting the same message. Be tireless and stubborn while remembering to remain courteous, and not increasingly aggressive in your way of conveying your wish. Stay the course, don't change the content of the information to be conveyed, don't justify yourself. If you explain your position, do so in a way that is adapted to the context.
3/ Express your emotions clearly.
Think about saying, expressing your positive or negative emotions. State your position and follow through by explaining your feelings, cordially but clearly.
Example: "I'm annoyed because I really value the good relationship we have, you and I, at work, but I won't be able to replace you this week."
4/ Stay positive and attentive.
It seems that the major rule, in terms of successful assertion, is to absolutely avoid making reproaches. Put yourself in the other person's place, respecting their self-esteem and dignity. Get involved by daring to speak, but always turning your thoughts towards the constructive aspect of things.
5/ Get to the point.
Few attitudes are as annoying as witnessing the lack of clarity of your colleague whom you understand to be "beating around the bush" without getting to the heart of the request.
Communicate honestly and efficiently: express yourself in a few words, check that they are understood, but absolutely avoid wasting time navigating troubled waters.
6/ Acknowledge your mistakes.
If you realize you've made a mistake, acknowledge it quickly to your interlocutor, without going into lengthy apologies. Acknowledge your mistake without adding explanations, justifications or nuances.
7/ Disarm respective angers.
In case of violent disagreement and/or direct conflict, first disarm your own anger to prevent an uncontrollable and irreparable escalation of the situation. Be increasingly calm and courteous and express your feelings clearly, without detours, but respecting, once again, the sensitivity facing you. However, know how to remain firm, professional, and do not under any circumstances get emotional or pathetic.
8/ Know how to avoid getting bogged down in perilous discussions.
When you find yourself having a discussion that displeases you, learn to be silent, to say nothing that could commit you or encourage the continuation of this discussion. If you wish, take up the verbalization of your interlocutor - in the most neutral way possible - and quickly move away.
Mariam Amri
Head of Communication Department - ReKrute
Whether it is a question of revealing one's value, defending a point of view brilliantly, managing conflicts or negotiating, knowing how to assert oneself is the way to make oneself heard and allows one to find a real balance in one's relationship with others, at work.
Here are some daily techniques to help with self-assertion:
1/ State your position, having heard the other person.
Always start by listening to your interlocutor and what is right in their speech. Then rephrase their reasons before stating your position by affirming what you have to say.
Example: "What he did to you is indeed inglorious and your reaction is perfectly understandable, but I think you should talk to him again."
2/ Repeat, insist intelligently.
Don't shy away from repeating, from restarting the same message. Be tireless and stubborn while remembering to remain courteous, and not increasingly aggressive in your way of conveying your wish. Stay the course, don't change the content of the information to be conveyed, don't justify yourself. If you explain your position, do so in a way that is adapted to the context.
3/ Express your emotions clearly.
Think about saying, expressing your positive or negative emotions. State your position and follow through by explaining your feelings, cordially but clearly.
Example: "I'm annoyed because I really value the good relationship we have, you and I, at work, but I won't be able to replace you this week."
4/ Stay positive and attentive.
It seems that the major rule, in terms of successful assertion, is to absolutely avoid making reproaches. Put yourself in the other person's place, respecting their self-esteem and dignity. Get involved by daring to speak, but always turning your thoughts towards the constructive aspect of things.
5/ Get to the point.
Few attitudes are as annoying as witnessing the lack of clarity of your colleague whom you understand to be "beating around the bush" without getting to the heart of the request.
Communicate honestly and efficiently: express yourself in a few words, check that they are understood, but absolutely avoid wasting time navigating troubled waters.
6/ Acknowledge your mistakes.
If you realize you've made a mistake, acknowledge it quickly to your interlocutor, without going into lengthy apologies. Acknowledge your mistake without adding explanations, justifications or nuances.
7/ Disarm respective angers.
In case of violent disagreement and/or direct conflict, first disarm your own anger to prevent an uncontrollable and irreparable escalation of the situation. Be increasingly calm and courteous and express your feelings clearly, without detours, but respecting, once again, the sensitivity facing you. However, know how to remain firm, professional, and do not under any circumstances get emotional or pathetic.
8/ Know how to avoid getting bogged down in perilous discussions.
When you find yourself having a discussion that displeases you, learn to be silent, to say nothing that could commit you or encourage the continuation of this discussion. If you wish, take up the verbalization of your interlocutor - in the most neutral way possible - and quickly move away.
Mariam Amri
Head of Communication Department - ReKrute
