Unmask Workplace Manipulators
Whether they aim to harm or seduce you, these toxic personalities can be detrimental. Want to avoid becoming a victim? Here's how to identify and counter them.
No one is immune to manipulation. Flore Ozanne, an experienced headhunter, almost fell victim. Seduced by a candidate's personality and background, she presented him to her client. He was initially well-received by the future employer, before being exposed: "When checking his references, we realized he had been unemployed for over a year. He had fabricated experiences, providing specific details and even cleverly admitting certain failures. His speech and demeanor were perfectly controlled."
This type of profile is not uncommon, especially in the workplace. It falls into the category of self-centered manipulators who act exclusively in their own self-interest. Rarer, but more dangerous, are malevolent manipulators, masters of harassment. "Their intention is to harm, even destroy. They satisfy a need for domination," describes psychotherapist Christel Petitcollin, author of the book "Escaping Manipulators" (Guy Trédaniel Editeur). To protect yourself against these toxic individuals, there's only one solution: learn to detect them and recognize their methods. And, above all, strive to react so as not to become a target.
Do you have the profile of a victim?
There's no manipulator without a "punching bag." Contrary to popular belief, the victim isn't necessarily a fragile or weak individual. They are more likely to be dynamic, kind, well-liked, and trusting, but whose personality presents certain flaws (lack of self-confidence, fear of rejection and disappointment, a tendency towards perfectionism). The manipulator quickly detects these weaknesses and uses them to assert their control. Philippe, a 42-year-old manager in a real estate agency, experienced this situation. "My boss knew I didn't have a high school diploma. He understood that, as a result, I lacked confidence. When he offered me a promotion, I felt overwhelmed with gratitude towards him. He took advantage of this to overload me with work!"
The manipulator knows how to spot certain seemingly innocuous signs that betray a lack of self-confidence. "They pay attention to facial expressions, the position of the chin—lowered or raised. They quickly register if their interlocutor has shifty eyes, doesn't finish their sentences, doesn't dare express their opinions, tends to apologize three times for being five minutes late—in other words, if they feel guilty over nothing," explains therapist Isabelle Nazare-Aga.
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Posted on March 8, 2011
