Tips on How to Argue and Persuade
19 January 2009
Read by 1788 persons
Charisma and eloquence aren't given to everyone, but you can learn to get others to agree with your ideas. Preparing your arguments, creating a climate conducive to discussion, adapting your language to the situation... these are all assets for persuading someone. You must be credible and share your convictions.
Not everyone is a Gamal Abdel Nasser, a de Gaulle, or a Martin Luther King, leaders who had the gift of captivating, if not hypnotizing, crowds with their eloquence and charisma. But being able to convince an audience or an interlocutor is not reserved for such personalities.
And while it's difficult to equal them, everyone can do it, provided they learn to argue. This has become a necessity, and even in everyday life, we are led to confront our ideas with those of others, to try to obtain a commitment, to negotiate a preferential rate or a salary increase, to pass or conduct a recruitment interview, to speak before a larger audience to defend a project or strategy...
"Whether it's clients or collaborators, colleagues or suppliers, convincing your interlocutor is a challenge that a manager must meet every day," summarizes Abdelhai Lazrak, director of the training firm Capital Services.
To gain acceptance in any situation, the first step is to prepare a strategy. In other words, you must define the goal to be achieved, the means to achieve it, and for what purpose. "For a strategy to work, it must provide for several levels: from the ideal objective to the minimum objective.
This allows for several possibilities of orientation, fallback, and rebound if your interlocutor or audience do not share your proposals." This is explained by Mohamed Bennouna, director of the firm F2V, who emphasizes that preparation is essential and that one should not be content with a single argument. It is also essential to leave room for improvisation.
He gives the example of a collaborator who requests a salary increase and who bases his intervention solely on his skills. In this case, his manager, even if he approves of this point, can, by adopting the same logic, reproach him for certain weaknesses. In the end, the basic argument will not stand up and may even reinforce the manager's position.
"Similarly, if a situation arises where you are unprepared, it is better not to attack; you risk losing your assets or making your interlocutor uncomfortable," advises the director of F2V.
Then you will need to strive to create a climate conducive to exchange. Generally, a phase of observation and listening is essential. "However, be careful not to draw too hasty conclusions by imagining that the interlocutor's speech and attitude exactly reflect their real expectations.
It often happens that a person does not immediately reveal their true intentions. You must listen carefully before acting," notes Ghali Yamani, legal officer in an agricultural group.
Adapt your pace and speech to your interlocutor
In all cases, you must explain things clearly and simply because many factors can alter a message. In communication, the gap is very often enormous between what one thinks, what one wants to say, and what one actually says.
Furthermore, between what has been heard, what has been retained, and what has been understood, the gap can be significant. When you ask a person to reproduce what they have retained, the loss is flagrant.
For example, and this is well known in communication training seminars, trainers like to ask participants to pass a message from one to another, in a real chain. Most often, once it reaches the last participant, at the end of the chain, the initial message will have been distorted because each person will have understood and reproduced it in their own way.
Similarly, you must know how to let go if your interlocutor persists in the same position. There is no point in trying to influence or intimidate them. Communication experts suggest depersonalizing the debate, making it more serene.
If you are facing a single person or a small committee, it is preferable to return to the question later, again leaving the floor to the other party. You can do this by initiating a reflection that could challenge their certainties or by asking a question that will lead them to reconsider their position themselves.
It is recommended to adapt your pace and speech to your interlocutor, to use their terms to quickly enter into their logic. "You cannot influence others with your own arguments while rejecting theirs," emphasizes Abdelaï Lazrak.
To be credible, be as sincere as possible. Use facts, evidence, experiments... that prove you are telling the truth. But beware, too many examples kill the example! You must provide the right one, relying on concrete elements that will stick in the memory.
Finally, you must show your determination and not hesitate to play on the emotional factor through voice intonation, gestures, and gaze.
Posted on January 19, 2009
lavieeco.com
Not everyone is a Gamal Abdel Nasser, a de Gaulle, or a Martin Luther King, leaders who had the gift of captivating, if not hypnotizing, crowds with their eloquence and charisma. But being able to convince an audience or an interlocutor is not reserved for such personalities.
And while it's difficult to equal them, everyone can do it, provided they learn to argue. This has become a necessity, and even in everyday life, we are led to confront our ideas with those of others, to try to obtain a commitment, to negotiate a preferential rate or a salary increase, to pass or conduct a recruitment interview, to speak before a larger audience to defend a project or strategy...
"Whether it's clients or collaborators, colleagues or suppliers, convincing your interlocutor is a challenge that a manager must meet every day," summarizes Abdelhai Lazrak, director of the training firm Capital Services.
To gain acceptance in any situation, the first step is to prepare a strategy. In other words, you must define the goal to be achieved, the means to achieve it, and for what purpose. "For a strategy to work, it must provide for several levels: from the ideal objective to the minimum objective.
This allows for several possibilities of orientation, fallback, and rebound if your interlocutor or audience do not share your proposals." This is explained by Mohamed Bennouna, director of the firm F2V, who emphasizes that preparation is essential and that one should not be content with a single argument. It is also essential to leave room for improvisation.
He gives the example of a collaborator who requests a salary increase and who bases his intervention solely on his skills. In this case, his manager, even if he approves of this point, can, by adopting the same logic, reproach him for certain weaknesses. In the end, the basic argument will not stand up and may even reinforce the manager's position.
"Similarly, if a situation arises where you are unprepared, it is better not to attack; you risk losing your assets or making your interlocutor uncomfortable," advises the director of F2V.
Then you will need to strive to create a climate conducive to exchange. Generally, a phase of observation and listening is essential. "However, be careful not to draw too hasty conclusions by imagining that the interlocutor's speech and attitude exactly reflect their real expectations.
It often happens that a person does not immediately reveal their true intentions. You must listen carefully before acting," notes Ghali Yamani, legal officer in an agricultural group.
Adapt your pace and speech to your interlocutor
In all cases, you must explain things clearly and simply because many factors can alter a message. In communication, the gap is very often enormous between what one thinks, what one wants to say, and what one actually says.
Furthermore, between what has been heard, what has been retained, and what has been understood, the gap can be significant. When you ask a person to reproduce what they have retained, the loss is flagrant.
For example, and this is well known in communication training seminars, trainers like to ask participants to pass a message from one to another, in a real chain. Most often, once it reaches the last participant, at the end of the chain, the initial message will have been distorted because each person will have understood and reproduced it in their own way.
Similarly, you must know how to let go if your interlocutor persists in the same position. There is no point in trying to influence or intimidate them. Communication experts suggest depersonalizing the debate, making it more serene.
If you are facing a single person or a small committee, it is preferable to return to the question later, again leaving the floor to the other party. You can do this by initiating a reflection that could challenge their certainties or by asking a question that will lead them to reconsider their position themselves.
It is recommended to adapt your pace and speech to your interlocutor, to use their terms to quickly enter into their logic. "You cannot influence others with your own arguments while rejecting theirs," emphasizes Abdelaï Lazrak.
To be credible, be as sincere as possible. Use facts, evidence, experiments... that prove you are telling the truth. But beware, too many examples kill the example! You must provide the right one, relying on concrete elements that will stick in the memory.
Finally, you must show your determination and not hesitate to play on the emotional factor through voice intonation, gestures, and gaze.
Posted on January 19, 2009
lavieeco.com
