Tips on how to argue and convince
4 June 2009
Read by 1654 persons
Charisma and eloquence are not given to everyone, but you can learn to get others to agree with your ideas. Preparing your arguments, creating a climate conducive to exchange, adapting your language to the situation... are all assets for convincing an interlocutor. You must be credible and share your convictions.
Not everyone is a Gamal Abdel Nasser, a de Gaulle or a Martin Luther King, leaders who had the gift of captivating, not to say hypnotizing, crowds thanks to their eloquence and charisma. But being able to convince an audience or an interlocutor is not reserved for such characters. And while it is difficult to equal them, everyone can achieve it, provided they learn to argue. This has become a necessity and, even in everyday life, we are led to confront our ideas with those of others, to try to obtain a commitment, to negotiate a preferential rate or a salary increase, to pass or conduct a recruitment interview, to speak before a larger audience to defend a project or a strategy ...
"Whether it's clients or collaborators, colleagues or suppliers, convincing your interlocutor is a challenge that a manager must meet every day," summarizes Abdelhai Lazrak, director of the training firm Capital Services.
To gain support in all situations, the first step is to prepare a strategy. In other words, you must define the goal to be achieved, the means to achieve it and for what purpose. "For a strategy to work, it must provide for several levels: from the ideal objective to the minimum objective. This allows for several possibilities of orientation, fallback and rebound if your interlocutor or the audience do not share your proposals." This is explained by Mohamed Bennouna, director of the firm F2V, who insists that preparation is essential and that one should not be content with a single argument. It is also essential to allow for improvisation. He gives the example of a collaborator who requests a salary increase and who bases his intervention solely on his skills. In this case, his manager, even if he approves of this point, can, by adopting the same logic, reproach him for certain weaknesses. In the end, the basic argument will not hold up and may even reinforce the manager's position. "Similarly, if an exchange situation arises and you are not prepared, it is better not to attack, you risk losing your assets, or making your interlocutor uncomfortable," advises the director of F2V.
Then you should strive to create a climate conducive to exchange. Generally, a phase of observation and listening is essential. "However, be careful not to draw too hasty conclusions by imagining that the interlocutor's speech and attitude exactly reflect their real expectations. It often happens that a person does not immediately reveal their real intentions. You must listen carefully before acting," notes Ghali Yamani, legal officer in an agricultural group.
Adapt your rhythm and speech to your interlocutor
In all cases, it is necessary to explain things clearly and simply because many factors can alter a message. In communication, the gap is very often enormous between what we think, what we want to say and what we actually say. Moreover, between what has been heard, what has been retained and what has been understood, the gap can be significant. When we ask a person to reproduce what they have retained, the loss is flagrant. For example, and this is well known, in communication training seminars, trainers like to ask participants to pass on a message from one to another, in a real chain. Most often, once the last participant is reached, at the end of the chain, the initial message will have been distorted, because each person will have understood and reproduced it in their own way.
Similarly, you should know when to let go if your interlocutor persists in the same position. There is no point in trying to influence or intimidate them. Communication experts suggest depersonalizing the debate and making it more serene. If you are facing a single person or a small committee, it is preferable to return to the question later, again leaving the floor to the other party. This can be done by initiating a reflection that could challenge their certainties or by asking a question that will lead them to review their position themselves.
It is recommended to adapt your rhythm and speech to your interlocutor, to use their terms to quickly penetrate their logic. "You cannot influence others with your own arguments and reject theirs," emphasizes Abdelaï Lazrak. To be credible, be as sincere as possible. Use facts, evidence, experiments... that prove you are telling the truth. But be careful, too many examples kill the example! You must provide the right one, relying on concrete elements that will remain in memory. Finally, you must show your determination and not hesitate to play on the emotional factor through voice intonation, gestures and gaze.
Published on November 28, 2008
Posted online on June 4, 2009
lavieeco.com
Not everyone is a Gamal Abdel Nasser, a de Gaulle or a Martin Luther King, leaders who had the gift of captivating, not to say hypnotizing, crowds thanks to their eloquence and charisma. But being able to convince an audience or an interlocutor is not reserved for such characters. And while it is difficult to equal them, everyone can achieve it, provided they learn to argue. This has become a necessity and, even in everyday life, we are led to confront our ideas with those of others, to try to obtain a commitment, to negotiate a preferential rate or a salary increase, to pass or conduct a recruitment interview, to speak before a larger audience to defend a project or a strategy ...
"Whether it's clients or collaborators, colleagues or suppliers, convincing your interlocutor is a challenge that a manager must meet every day," summarizes Abdelhai Lazrak, director of the training firm Capital Services.
To gain support in all situations, the first step is to prepare a strategy. In other words, you must define the goal to be achieved, the means to achieve it and for what purpose. "For a strategy to work, it must provide for several levels: from the ideal objective to the minimum objective. This allows for several possibilities of orientation, fallback and rebound if your interlocutor or the audience do not share your proposals." This is explained by Mohamed Bennouna, director of the firm F2V, who insists that preparation is essential and that one should not be content with a single argument. It is also essential to allow for improvisation. He gives the example of a collaborator who requests a salary increase and who bases his intervention solely on his skills. In this case, his manager, even if he approves of this point, can, by adopting the same logic, reproach him for certain weaknesses. In the end, the basic argument will not hold up and may even reinforce the manager's position. "Similarly, if an exchange situation arises and you are not prepared, it is better not to attack, you risk losing your assets, or making your interlocutor uncomfortable," advises the director of F2V.
Then you should strive to create a climate conducive to exchange. Generally, a phase of observation and listening is essential. "However, be careful not to draw too hasty conclusions by imagining that the interlocutor's speech and attitude exactly reflect their real expectations. It often happens that a person does not immediately reveal their real intentions. You must listen carefully before acting," notes Ghali Yamani, legal officer in an agricultural group.
Adapt your rhythm and speech to your interlocutor
In all cases, it is necessary to explain things clearly and simply because many factors can alter a message. In communication, the gap is very often enormous between what we think, what we want to say and what we actually say. Moreover, between what has been heard, what has been retained and what has been understood, the gap can be significant. When we ask a person to reproduce what they have retained, the loss is flagrant. For example, and this is well known, in communication training seminars, trainers like to ask participants to pass on a message from one to another, in a real chain. Most often, once the last participant is reached, at the end of the chain, the initial message will have been distorted, because each person will have understood and reproduced it in their own way.
Similarly, you should know when to let go if your interlocutor persists in the same position. There is no point in trying to influence or intimidate them. Communication experts suggest depersonalizing the debate and making it more serene. If you are facing a single person or a small committee, it is preferable to return to the question later, again leaving the floor to the other party. This can be done by initiating a reflection that could challenge their certainties or by asking a question that will lead them to review their position themselves.
It is recommended to adapt your rhythm and speech to your interlocutor, to use their terms to quickly penetrate their logic. "You cannot influence others with your own arguments and reject theirs," emphasizes Abdelaï Lazrak. To be credible, be as sincere as possible. Use facts, evidence, experiments... that prove you are telling the truth. But be careful, too many examples kill the example! You must provide the right one, relying on concrete elements that will remain in memory. Finally, you must show your determination and not hesitate to play on the emotional factor through voice intonation, gestures and gaze.
Published on November 28, 2008
Posted online on June 4, 2009
lavieeco.com
