Are You the Office Mean Girl?
12 September 2013
Read by 1995 persons
Are You the Office Mean Girl?
And why it might pay to be.
You know that old saying, don't you: "Nice guys finish last"?
But is that really the case in a company? Maybe being the nice person in the office doesn't always pay dividends. Forgive my cynicism! Let's just say I'm trying to look out for you all!
The truth is that it's imperative to know how to say "no" from time to time. Learn why, when, and how to say "no" and watch your career take a positive tangent.
Not always easy to say "no"
Many of us have difficulty saying no, both privately and at work. You may tell yourself that by being accommodating and kind, you are doing everyone a service, including yourself. Of course, it's important to have team spirit and show that you want to help others and don't want to hurt anyone. After all, to advance one's career, it is also necessary to know how to maintain and foster relationships, one's network, as well as establish and preserve contacts, especially when it comes time to move on to another company or be transferred to a new position. But if you are perceived as someone who only seeks to please, you risk being the one everyone takes advantage of.
Great news: being the nice guy in the office doesn't pay off! In fact, it can even harm your chances of promotion. Being a good leader is not about pleasing, it's about leading a team with character, being a good mentor and knowing how to encourage colleagues to excel and stay motivated.
Here are some examples of situations where it may be important to say no:
When you want to test the waters: it's good to get others to think about other points of view and perspectives. Don't be afraid to play devil's advocate from time to time and when you're not sure about a suggestion.
When a colleague wants you to do something you disagree with: follow your instincts and express your disagreement.
When a colleague asks you to do something as quickly as possible and you absolutely don't have the time. Whether you have to attend two consecutive meetings or have a tight schedule to meet for your superior, you'd better say no rather than agree to do something that is impossible for you to accomplish within the given time frame.
How can always saying "yes" hurt your career?
1) Your colleagues may try to take advantage of you: If you always say "yes", you will always be the one who is entrusted with the smallest task. It's one thing to be entrusted with a project by your superior; but it's no longer the case if you feel like you're being taken for the office errand boy. And it can really get complicated when it negatively impacts your productivity and how you manage your workload.
How to remedy the situation: If it seems to you that your colleagues are unduly entrusting you with a thousand and one tasks, express your disagreement. Say that you won't have time to execute the said task within the requested timeframe because you have other priorities, but that you'll be happy to take care of it once your work is done. Or, integrate your superior into the process by asking your colleague to make their request by email with a copy to your superior, so that the latter is aware of your schedule. It is important not to say "yes" automatically, because you then find yourself in the impossible situation where you can no longer even manage your own workload.
2) You may not get the respect you deserve: Being perceived as the nice guy in the office can win you friends, but not necessarily respect. Of course, it's important to show team spirit, but you need to make sure your good nature doesn't compromise your image as a positive leader.
How to remedy the situation: Be kind and courteous at work, but make sure to defend your position, if necessary. Attitude always speaks volumes, and you need to make sure to display confidence and positivity to your colleagues (you'll see, it's contagious!).
3) You may be perceived as a very sociable person rather than a hard worker: It's important to make friends at work, but be careful not to give the impression of socializing too much. How you are perceived is very important, and if your superiors think you're chatting too much at the coffee station instead of doing your work, it could be a problem.
How to remedy the situation: Say hello in the morning and exchange pleasantries, but know how to put a stop to it and get back to your work. You don't have to have lunch for an hour every day with your colleagues; you're there to do your job and be efficient, not to win a popularity contest.
4) You might be overlooked for a promotion: It's great to be loved and admired, but great leaders also need to be feared and respected.
How to remedy the situation: Be sincere when giving compliments and positive feedback, and make sure they are deserved: it's the only way to be credible. Don't give the impression that you are using flattery to gain the acceptance or approval of another. Express confidence, work with integrity and keep your head high! If you're too sweet, you won't project the image of an effective manager.
There is no doubt that the social aspect of a professional environment is an integral part of job satisfaction and that, ultimately, you prefer to be adored rather than scorned. But establishing valuable contacts is another important facet of your career, especially when there is a possibility of a transfer within your company or another position awaits you elsewhere. Just remember that it's better to earn respect than to make new friends by being overly nice.
Karin Eldor.
Monster.ca
Posted on September 12, 2013.
And why it might pay to be.
You know that old saying, don't you: "Nice guys finish last"?
But is that really the case in a company? Maybe being the nice person in the office doesn't always pay dividends. Forgive my cynicism! Let's just say I'm trying to look out for you all!
The truth is that it's imperative to know how to say "no" from time to time. Learn why, when, and how to say "no" and watch your career take a positive tangent.
Not always easy to say "no"
Many of us have difficulty saying no, both privately and at work. You may tell yourself that by being accommodating and kind, you are doing everyone a service, including yourself. Of course, it's important to have team spirit and show that you want to help others and don't want to hurt anyone. After all, to advance one's career, it is also necessary to know how to maintain and foster relationships, one's network, as well as establish and preserve contacts, especially when it comes time to move on to another company or be transferred to a new position. But if you are perceived as someone who only seeks to please, you risk being the one everyone takes advantage of.
Great news: being the nice guy in the office doesn't pay off! In fact, it can even harm your chances of promotion. Being a good leader is not about pleasing, it's about leading a team with character, being a good mentor and knowing how to encourage colleagues to excel and stay motivated.
Here are some examples of situations where it may be important to say no:
When you want to test the waters: it's good to get others to think about other points of view and perspectives. Don't be afraid to play devil's advocate from time to time and when you're not sure about a suggestion.
When a colleague wants you to do something you disagree with: follow your instincts and express your disagreement.
When a colleague asks you to do something as quickly as possible and you absolutely don't have the time. Whether you have to attend two consecutive meetings or have a tight schedule to meet for your superior, you'd better say no rather than agree to do something that is impossible for you to accomplish within the given time frame.
How can always saying "yes" hurt your career?
1) Your colleagues may try to take advantage of you: If you always say "yes", you will always be the one who is entrusted with the smallest task. It's one thing to be entrusted with a project by your superior; but it's no longer the case if you feel like you're being taken for the office errand boy. And it can really get complicated when it negatively impacts your productivity and how you manage your workload.
How to remedy the situation: If it seems to you that your colleagues are unduly entrusting you with a thousand and one tasks, express your disagreement. Say that you won't have time to execute the said task within the requested timeframe because you have other priorities, but that you'll be happy to take care of it once your work is done. Or, integrate your superior into the process by asking your colleague to make their request by email with a copy to your superior, so that the latter is aware of your schedule. It is important not to say "yes" automatically, because you then find yourself in the impossible situation where you can no longer even manage your own workload.
2) You may not get the respect you deserve: Being perceived as the nice guy in the office can win you friends, but not necessarily respect. Of course, it's important to show team spirit, but you need to make sure your good nature doesn't compromise your image as a positive leader.
How to remedy the situation: Be kind and courteous at work, but make sure to defend your position, if necessary. Attitude always speaks volumes, and you need to make sure to display confidence and positivity to your colleagues (you'll see, it's contagious!).
3) You may be perceived as a very sociable person rather than a hard worker: It's important to make friends at work, but be careful not to give the impression of socializing too much. How you are perceived is very important, and if your superiors think you're chatting too much at the coffee station instead of doing your work, it could be a problem.
How to remedy the situation: Say hello in the morning and exchange pleasantries, but know how to put a stop to it and get back to your work. You don't have to have lunch for an hour every day with your colleagues; you're there to do your job and be efficient, not to win a popularity contest.
4) You might be overlooked for a promotion: It's great to be loved and admired, but great leaders also need to be feared and respected.
How to remedy the situation: Be sincere when giving compliments and positive feedback, and make sure they are deserved: it's the only way to be credible. Don't give the impression that you are using flattery to gain the acceptance or approval of another. Express confidence, work with integrity and keep your head high! If you're too sweet, you won't project the image of an effective manager.
There is no doubt that the social aspect of a professional environment is an integral part of job satisfaction and that, ultimately, you prefer to be adored rather than scorned. But establishing valuable contacts is another important facet of your career, especially when there is a possibility of a transfer within your company or another position awaits you elsewhere. Just remember that it's better to earn respect than to make new friends by being overly nice.
Karin Eldor.
Monster.ca
Posted on September 12, 2013.
