Managing Difficult Personalities in Meetings
12 June 2014
Read by 3012 persons
Those who have never been disrupted by one or more participants while leading a meeting are lucky. Aggressive people, know-it-alls, silent types, chatterboxes… Here are some tips for managing the most exasperating profiles.
The Aggressive Person.
"The aggressive person" is someone who attacks and seeks a duel. They only want one thing from you: for you to reply aggressively. Instead, stay calm and let them express themselves until they regain their composure and ability to listen, otherwise you won't be able to make yourself heard. You can then calmly address your interlocutor's remarks.
Another solution: take a step back and directly tell your interlocutor that their behavior is disruptive, opening a discussion to find the causes of this behavior and remedy it.
The Silent Type.
Sometimes, you have to accept that some colleagues don't speak. But when their silence is a hindrance or an obstacle to team cohesion, certain tricks can help unblock the situation.
For example, at the end of what you have to say, turn to "the silent type" and look at them silently to encourage them to speak. To avoid destabilizing them, ask an easy question while looking at them.
You can also do a fake round table by asking two or three people for their opinion, with the actual aim of getting the opinion of "the silent type".
The Know-It-All.
The expert is bothersome and intimidating, whether they have real expertise or not. In the latter case, it's the famous "know-it-all" because they worked in such a field or with such a person, that they have such a skill in such a company. They don't hesitate to denigrate what you are saying without argument with a dismissive "Oh yeah, well…".
Generally, the "know-it-all" is comfortable speaking, but can be challenged on their sources. Ask them "Where exactly did you get your information from?" and push them to explain themselves and you will see them get tangled up on their own.
Another solution: an objective reaction where you don't put yourself forward, your pride aside, play innocent, act as if you didn't understand.
The Conservative.
The "conservative" is entrenched in their positions and is afraid of change, such as when company employees suddenly have to switch to new technologies or English…
Tell them: "I understand that it's difficult and that it takes effort" or present your arguments in favor of this change and explain how they will be supported and trained.
However, don't overdo it if you sense resistance. You have to know when to let go and not expect immediate change. And in the context of meetings with round tables, don't give them the floor first, as this risks negatively influencing others.
The Cell Phone Addict.
It's difficult to be interrupted during a meeting by the untimely ringing of cell phones.
The solution: establish ground rules. During a meeting, cell phones must be switched off or on vibrate, and messages can be checked during breaks. This is a moral contract that is often respected once everyone agrees, even just slightly.
If the rules haven't been established, you can always use nonverbal language: while speaking normally, look the person straight in the eyes while they are on the phone. They will feel guilty and will not do it again.
The Chatterbox.
There's nothing more annoying than seeing two chatterboxes whispering while you are giving a presentation. Even if they don't necessarily disturb, they monopolize each other and often force you to repeat yourself.
Without waiting until the last moment to correct the "chatterbox", don't rush either, as you risk being rude, clumsy and reacting excessively. Especially since even if the person targeted doesn't get defensive, it's everyone else who might do so in a show of solidarity.
The solution: stop talking while looking at them. This imposed silence will embarrass them, and they will fall silent on their own and won't do it again.
Another tip: it is also observed that chatterboxes tend to fall silent when you approach them.
To manage embarrassing situations in meetings, learn to pace yourself. It is better to react calmly after having regained your composure and prepared your remarks. Also take into account that there are certain limits related to company culture: the same behaviors can be tolerated in some companies and unacceptable in others.
Philippe Montant
CEO of ReKrute
The Aggressive Person.
"The aggressive person" is someone who attacks and seeks a duel. They only want one thing from you: for you to reply aggressively. Instead, stay calm and let them express themselves until they regain their composure and ability to listen, otherwise you won't be able to make yourself heard. You can then calmly address your interlocutor's remarks.
Another solution: take a step back and directly tell your interlocutor that their behavior is disruptive, opening a discussion to find the causes of this behavior and remedy it.
The Silent Type.
Sometimes, you have to accept that some colleagues don't speak. But when their silence is a hindrance or an obstacle to team cohesion, certain tricks can help unblock the situation.
For example, at the end of what you have to say, turn to "the silent type" and look at them silently to encourage them to speak. To avoid destabilizing them, ask an easy question while looking at them.
You can also do a fake round table by asking two or three people for their opinion, with the actual aim of getting the opinion of "the silent type".
The Know-It-All.
The expert is bothersome and intimidating, whether they have real expertise or not. In the latter case, it's the famous "know-it-all" because they worked in such a field or with such a person, that they have such a skill in such a company. They don't hesitate to denigrate what you are saying without argument with a dismissive "Oh yeah, well…".
Generally, the "know-it-all" is comfortable speaking, but can be challenged on their sources. Ask them "Where exactly did you get your information from?" and push them to explain themselves and you will see them get tangled up on their own.
Another solution: an objective reaction where you don't put yourself forward, your pride aside, play innocent, act as if you didn't understand.
The Conservative.
The "conservative" is entrenched in their positions and is afraid of change, such as when company employees suddenly have to switch to new technologies or English…
Tell them: "I understand that it's difficult and that it takes effort" or present your arguments in favor of this change and explain how they will be supported and trained.
However, don't overdo it if you sense resistance. You have to know when to let go and not expect immediate change. And in the context of meetings with round tables, don't give them the floor first, as this risks negatively influencing others.
The Cell Phone Addict.
It's difficult to be interrupted during a meeting by the untimely ringing of cell phones.
The solution: establish ground rules. During a meeting, cell phones must be switched off or on vibrate, and messages can be checked during breaks. This is a moral contract that is often respected once everyone agrees, even just slightly.
If the rules haven't been established, you can always use nonverbal language: while speaking normally, look the person straight in the eyes while they are on the phone. They will feel guilty and will not do it again.
The Chatterbox.
There's nothing more annoying than seeing two chatterboxes whispering while you are giving a presentation. Even if they don't necessarily disturb, they monopolize each other and often force you to repeat yourself.
Without waiting until the last moment to correct the "chatterbox", don't rush either, as you risk being rude, clumsy and reacting excessively. Especially since even if the person targeted doesn't get defensive, it's everyone else who might do so in a show of solidarity.
The solution: stop talking while looking at them. This imposed silence will embarrass them, and they will fall silent on their own and won't do it again.
Another tip: it is also observed that chatterboxes tend to fall silent when you approach them.
To manage embarrassing situations in meetings, learn to pace yourself. It is better to react calmly after having regained your composure and prepared your remarks. Also take into account that there are certain limits related to company culture: the same behaviors can be tolerated in some companies and unacceptable in others.
Philippe Montant
CEO of ReKrute
