Managing Difficult Personalities in Meetings
9 July 2015
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1-The Aggressive Person.
"The aggressive person" attacks and seeks confrontation. They only want one thing: for you to respond aggressively. Instead, stay calm and let them speak until they calm down and are able to listen. Otherwise, you won't be heard. Then calmly address their points. Alternatively, take a step back and directly tell them their behavior is disruptive. Open a discussion, find the cause of their behavior, and try to remedy it.
2-The Quiet Person.
Sometimes, you have to accept that some people don't speak up. But when their silence hinders progress or team cohesion, some strategies can help. For example, after you've spoken, turn to "the quiet person" and look at them silently to encourage them to speak. To avoid making them uncomfortable, ask an easy question while looking at them. You can also do a round-robin, asking two or three people for their opinions, aiming to get the quiet person to chime in.
3-The Know-It-All.
Whether they have real expertise or not, the expert is intimidating. In the latter case, this is the classic "I know everything" type because they worked in a certain field, with a certain person, or have skills at a specific company. They don't hesitate to belittle what you're saying with comments like, "Oh yeah, well…". Generally, the "know-it-all" is comfortable speaking, but can be challenged on their sources. Ask them, "Where exactly did you get your information?" and push them to explain. You'll see them get confused. Another solution: an objective response where you don't promote yourself. Put aside your pride, play innocent, and act like you didn't understand.
4-The Conservative Person.
The "conservative person" is stuck in their ways and fears change, such as when employees suddenly have to adopt new technologies or learn English… Tell them, "I understand this is difficult and requires effort." Present your arguments in favor of the change and explain how they will be supported and trained. However, don't overdo it if you sense resistance. You have to let go sometimes and not expect immediate change. In meetings with round-robin discussions, don't give them the floor first; you risk negatively influencing others.
5-The Cell Phone Addict.
It's disruptive when cell phones ring during meetings. The solution: establish ground rules. During a meeting, phones should be off or on vibrate, and messages can be checked during breaks. It's a moral contract, often respected if everyone agrees, even subtly. If rules weren't established, use nonverbal communication: while speaking normally, look the person directly in the eyes while they're on the phone. They'll feel guilty and won't repeat it.
6-The Chatterbox.
Nothing is more annoying than two people whispering during a presentation. Even if they aren't disruptive, they monopolize each other and often force you to repeat yourself. Don't wait until the last minute to correct the "chatterbox," but don't rush either, so as not to be rude, clumsy, or react excessively. Even if the targeted person doesn't get upset, others might out of solidarity.
The solution: stop talking while looking at them. This imposed silence will embarrass them, and they will stop and not repeat it. Another tip: chatterboxes tend to quiet down when you approach them. To manage disruptive situations in meetings, learn to control yourself. It's better to react calmly after regaining your composure and preparing your remarks. Also, consider that there are limits related to company culture: the same behaviors can be tolerated in some companies and unacceptable in others.
Philippe Montant CEO ExeKutive.biz
