Managing a Difficult Boss? It Can Be Learned.
4 August 2014
Read by 2488 persons
Inhibiting, discouraging, the behavior of some bosses can even lead you to depression.
Starting a discussion on this subject is always preferable to inaction.
How to do it? What language to use? What methods to use: useful advice.
Managing a Difficult Boss? It Can Be Learned
"After four years I couldn't take it anymore!" Jamila, a competent executive assistant, left her job for another, less well-paid and offering fewer opportunities for advancement. Her former boss showed no interest in her, was curt and abrupt, and often reprimanded her for no apparent reason. Her new employer, on the other hand, is friendly and does not hesitate to thank or congratulate her. Was the change worth it? For Jamila, it had become imperative to take the plunge. Today, she has rediscovered her love for work and believes that the gain in motivation more than compensates for a less attractive salary.
The case of this executive assistant is not isolated. Numerous surveys on the motivation of executives show that employees often leave their jobs because of their superior's behavior rather than for company-related issues. It is not uncommon to see employees go on strike to demand the departure of a manager because of their behavior. In addition to social conflicts, the pressure exerted by difficult bosses often has serious consequences on the health of their employees. Thus, this executive from a large company confides that he suffered a nervous breakdown because of a "tyrannical boss".
In short, the personality or behavior of some bosses, as well as superiors, makes the work atmosphere unpleasant, even unhealthy, and, through the frustrations or arguments they generate, greatly harms productivity. Indeed, it is no longer enough to have technical skills to achieve good results; you also need to know how to manage these imponderables, knowing that running away is not the right solution. In other words, simply resigning is not enough to solve the problem. You may find yourself in the same situation elsewhere, if not worse. Anxious, perfectionist, hypertensive, conservative or narcissistic boss, the chances of encountering one of these profiles within a company are not negligible.
It's up to you to act so as not to be caught in the vicious circle of doubt. It is not impossible. Thus, after surviving a tense relationship of more than two years with a difficult boss, Kamal Alaoui is pleased with the improvement in professional relations. "We have learned to know each other better. We no longer waste time on our disagreements. Informal meetings make it possible to discuss frankly to bring our positions closer together."
Learn to know your boss better
There is therefore an advantage to initiating a discussion with your boss, whatever their temperament. If only because a more satisfying work relationship will probably lead to a reduction in your stress level and an improvement in your self-confidence, which will have a positive impact on productivity.
But, before tackling the problem head-on, you will need to take the time to ask yourself a few questions. Why is your boss always in this state? Is he under pressure at work? What are his strengths and weaknesses? Is he aware of them? What does he particularly appreciate? What upsets him or, on the contrary, makes him impatient?
It is also useful to discuss this with your colleagues and to be more attentive to what is going on around you. Indeed, a better understanding of a person's mental processes and motivations facilitates understanding and increases our tolerance and sympathy towards them. Your boss is a perfectionist and likes things to be done properly: you can always use his own tactics against him by getting him to acknowledge your merits on a particular problem solved.
He is anxious: force him to acknowledge that his reactions are excessive and that, sooner or later, the problem will be solved. "You also have to know how to set limits. I dedicate eight hours a day to my job. There's no question of me working extra on weekends. I also have a private life to lead," notes Samira T., a manager in a real estate group, who doesn't fail to let her hyperactive boss know. "Even a small change in his behavior is a victory," emphasizes Ahmed Al Motamassik, a business sociologist.
Sincere compliments are useful for rebuilding trust
Clearly, improving the relationship with your boss is a challenge that cannot be met in a few hours. It takes time, some research and analysis skills, and a good dose of humility.
In the meantime, a few gestures can be helpful in improving relations. Starting with compliments. They are as important for bosses as they are for employees, provided they are sincere. As in any conflict, it is important to know when to fight and when to give in. Bosses also have bosses. If it were only up to him, perhaps he would give you more freedom. But the decision may not be up to him. In these circumstances, know how to support him in achieving his objectives.
It is also necessary to take the time to evaluate the impact of your approach. "Often, employees leave with the idea that they will not be able to change their superior's behavior," notes Mr. Al Moutamassik. Such an attitude automatically leads to withdrawal or, worse, paranoia. Unless he is a maniac, a manager is primarily looking for a result through a more or less appropriate management style. Consequently, a solution can be found if dialogue can be opened.
B.H.
Lavieeco.com
Posted online August 4, 2014.
Starting a discussion on this subject is always preferable to inaction.
How to do it? What language to use? What methods to use: useful advice.
Managing a Difficult Boss? It Can Be Learned
"After four years I couldn't take it anymore!" Jamila, a competent executive assistant, left her job for another, less well-paid and offering fewer opportunities for advancement. Her former boss showed no interest in her, was curt and abrupt, and often reprimanded her for no apparent reason. Her new employer, on the other hand, is friendly and does not hesitate to thank or congratulate her. Was the change worth it? For Jamila, it had become imperative to take the plunge. Today, she has rediscovered her love for work and believes that the gain in motivation more than compensates for a less attractive salary.
The case of this executive assistant is not isolated. Numerous surveys on the motivation of executives show that employees often leave their jobs because of their superior's behavior rather than for company-related issues. It is not uncommon to see employees go on strike to demand the departure of a manager because of their behavior. In addition to social conflicts, the pressure exerted by difficult bosses often has serious consequences on the health of their employees. Thus, this executive from a large company confides that he suffered a nervous breakdown because of a "tyrannical boss".
In short, the personality or behavior of some bosses, as well as superiors, makes the work atmosphere unpleasant, even unhealthy, and, through the frustrations or arguments they generate, greatly harms productivity. Indeed, it is no longer enough to have technical skills to achieve good results; you also need to know how to manage these imponderables, knowing that running away is not the right solution. In other words, simply resigning is not enough to solve the problem. You may find yourself in the same situation elsewhere, if not worse. Anxious, perfectionist, hypertensive, conservative or narcissistic boss, the chances of encountering one of these profiles within a company are not negligible.
It's up to you to act so as not to be caught in the vicious circle of doubt. It is not impossible. Thus, after surviving a tense relationship of more than two years with a difficult boss, Kamal Alaoui is pleased with the improvement in professional relations. "We have learned to know each other better. We no longer waste time on our disagreements. Informal meetings make it possible to discuss frankly to bring our positions closer together."
Learn to know your boss better
There is therefore an advantage to initiating a discussion with your boss, whatever their temperament. If only because a more satisfying work relationship will probably lead to a reduction in your stress level and an improvement in your self-confidence, which will have a positive impact on productivity.
But, before tackling the problem head-on, you will need to take the time to ask yourself a few questions. Why is your boss always in this state? Is he under pressure at work? What are his strengths and weaknesses? Is he aware of them? What does he particularly appreciate? What upsets him or, on the contrary, makes him impatient?
It is also useful to discuss this with your colleagues and to be more attentive to what is going on around you. Indeed, a better understanding of a person's mental processes and motivations facilitates understanding and increases our tolerance and sympathy towards them. Your boss is a perfectionist and likes things to be done properly: you can always use his own tactics against him by getting him to acknowledge your merits on a particular problem solved.
He is anxious: force him to acknowledge that his reactions are excessive and that, sooner or later, the problem will be solved. "You also have to know how to set limits. I dedicate eight hours a day to my job. There's no question of me working extra on weekends. I also have a private life to lead," notes Samira T., a manager in a real estate group, who doesn't fail to let her hyperactive boss know. "Even a small change in his behavior is a victory," emphasizes Ahmed Al Motamassik, a business sociologist.
Sincere compliments are useful for rebuilding trust
Clearly, improving the relationship with your boss is a challenge that cannot be met in a few hours. It takes time, some research and analysis skills, and a good dose of humility.
In the meantime, a few gestures can be helpful in improving relations. Starting with compliments. They are as important for bosses as they are for employees, provided they are sincere. As in any conflict, it is important to know when to fight and when to give in. Bosses also have bosses. If it were only up to him, perhaps he would give you more freedom. But the decision may not be up to him. In these circumstances, know how to support him in achieving his objectives.
It is also necessary to take the time to evaluate the impact of your approach. "Often, employees leave with the idea that they will not be able to change their superior's behavior," notes Mr. Al Moutamassik. Such an attitude automatically leads to withdrawal or, worse, paranoia. Unless he is a maniac, a manager is primarily looking for a result through a more or less appropriate management style. Consequently, a solution can be found if dialogue can be opened.
B.H.
Lavieeco.com
Posted online August 4, 2014.
