I have to fire my friend!
10 June 2011
Read by 1785 persons
I hired a friend a while ago. I had set myself the rules of never mixing business with friendship, but I was seduced by his profile and we urgently needed someone for this position. So I did everything to make his arrival go smoothly, but as soon as he started working with us I realised I had made a mistake. I discovered another person, in reality he is a smooth talker but not at all efficient; he doesn't know how to separate friendly and professional relationships, he allows himself things he shouldn't and keeps saying that he is the "boss's friend". Our friendly relationship has lasted for several years, our families know each other and I don't know how to tell him that I want to end his probationary period!
Be fair to your team and your company!
The very fact that you are asking yourself the question "How do I tell him the news?" shows that you haven't separated the two. Because if you had asked the right question you would certainly have hesitated much less, and the right question is "Why do I need to end this collaboration?"
Simply because you have done what happens every day in business: a recruitment mistake! Your judgment was certainly clouded by the fact that you thought you knew this person well, which is undoubtedly true but in a specific context, that of friendship and not of the professional...
Lay your cards on the table and principle 26
In any case, by prolonging this collaboration you risk much more: that the situation will worsen and impact both your company and your friendship. So, how do you tell him? As with any other employee in the same situation: you owe him the truth. Explain to him that you both made a mistake and that the job isn't for him. Be firm in your decision, don't leave the door open for negotiation. Also insist on the fact that by doing so you will preserve the most important thing, namely your friendship. But above all, remember to apply our principle No. 26 "let your interlocutor save face" and do not turn this interview into a "settling of scores and other criticisms" session because it would certainly mean the definitive end of your friendship. Moreover, don't forget that you certainly have some responsibility in this situation, because if your friend allowed himself this attitude it is because he felt "authorised" to do so, and, according to you, by whom?
Communicate and learn lessons
It's a risk to take, but you can't afford to be "social" within your company because it would discredit your role as a manager in relation to your team. By choosing to separate from your friend you may give up this friendship (or at least this form of friendship) because your friend will find it difficult to reconnect with you and you will have to accept that. Also, let time do its work...
You will then have to communicate about his departure to your team. This will be a delicate but possible exercise, especially if you apply our principle No. 11: "If you are wrong, admit it promptly and energetically". Unfortunately, some managers think that by publicly acknowledging a mistake they risk losing their credibility, but this is not the case, quite the contrary, because by doing so, you will demonstrate your ability to question yourself and your honesty.
Also avoid actively participating in your team's "complaining" session about this person's attitude and immediately start preparing the next recruitment.
Above all, avoid "hasty" recruitments, put in place a real process in this matter, but also share the recruitment process with others. Involve your team in future interviews, you will see that you will discover some judicious advice and remarks from them!
Published on June 6, 2011
Posted online on June 10, 2011
Lavieeco.com
Be fair to your team and your company!
The very fact that you are asking yourself the question "How do I tell him the news?" shows that you haven't separated the two. Because if you had asked the right question you would certainly have hesitated much less, and the right question is "Why do I need to end this collaboration?"
Simply because you have done what happens every day in business: a recruitment mistake! Your judgment was certainly clouded by the fact that you thought you knew this person well, which is undoubtedly true but in a specific context, that of friendship and not of the professional...
Lay your cards on the table and principle 26
In any case, by prolonging this collaboration you risk much more: that the situation will worsen and impact both your company and your friendship. So, how do you tell him? As with any other employee in the same situation: you owe him the truth. Explain to him that you both made a mistake and that the job isn't for him. Be firm in your decision, don't leave the door open for negotiation. Also insist on the fact that by doing so you will preserve the most important thing, namely your friendship. But above all, remember to apply our principle No. 26 "let your interlocutor save face" and do not turn this interview into a "settling of scores and other criticisms" session because it would certainly mean the definitive end of your friendship. Moreover, don't forget that you certainly have some responsibility in this situation, because if your friend allowed himself this attitude it is because he felt "authorised" to do so, and, according to you, by whom?
Communicate and learn lessons
It's a risk to take, but you can't afford to be "social" within your company because it would discredit your role as a manager in relation to your team. By choosing to separate from your friend you may give up this friendship (or at least this form of friendship) because your friend will find it difficult to reconnect with you and you will have to accept that. Also, let time do its work...
You will then have to communicate about his departure to your team. This will be a delicate but possible exercise, especially if you apply our principle No. 11: "If you are wrong, admit it promptly and energetically". Unfortunately, some managers think that by publicly acknowledging a mistake they risk losing their credibility, but this is not the case, quite the contrary, because by doing so, you will demonstrate your ability to question yourself and your honesty.
Also avoid actively participating in your team's "complaining" session about this person's attitude and immediately start preparing the next recruitment.
Above all, avoid "hasty" recruitments, put in place a real process in this matter, but also share the recruitment process with others. Involve your team in future interviews, you will see that you will discover some judicious advice and remarks from them!
Published on June 6, 2011
Posted online on June 10, 2011
Lavieeco.com
