The art of empowering employees
7 June 2013
Read by 2943 persons
How to maintain good relationships with your employees? The usual answer invariably translates into a list of attitudes and best practices that the manager must master. And the list is getting longer: more listening, authenticity, transparency, recognition, tolerance, enthusiasm, flexibility. But also more firmness, rigor, performance…
One would think that the quality of the relationship rests entirely on the shoulders of the manager. And yet, doesn't the word "relationship" imply that there must be at least two people involved? What about the employee? Do they have a share of responsibility in the relationship they have with their manager?
We know the list of complaints made by employees towards their management:
- "We are always asked to do more with fewer resources."
- "I am asked to be versatile. I signed up for one job, not five!"
- "It's always the crisis's fault if I don't get a raise."
- "My boss keeps talking about what's wrong, never what's right."
It is rarer to read articles or discover surveys on the criticisms that managers could make of their employees. We therefore conducted a small survey and are providing you with the main testimonials:
- "In meetings, when I ask my employees to offer ideas, no one responds."
- "They don't dare admit their difficulties; they wait for us to tell them."
- "They withhold information from their colleagues because they are afraid of losing their power."
- "They criticize the ways of working, but they don't suggest anything to improve things."
Whether you are an employee or a manager, the natural tendency is to attribute the responsibility for collaboration difficulties to others: "It's not me, it's the other person."
When questioning two protagonists who have difficulty getting along, it is often found that they are each partly right and wrong. Building positive and constructive relationships requires that each stakeholder wants to.
To do so, it is important to understand the mechanisms that cause tensions, as well as the postures to adopt to establish serene and constructive relationships.
"I am not your father, you are not my children, we are all adults."
The ways in which companies are organized inherently create a parent/child relationship. The manager must know everything, define the rules of operation, set objectives, evaluate results, and award rewards. They thus adopt the posture of a parent.
The employee, for their part, must respect what the manager asks them to do. This is what is specified in their employment contract. They are therefore positioned by default in a childlike posture.
While this mode of collaboration makes perfect sense in a society based on the unconditional respect of rules of life defined by authority, it becomes ineffective in a world focused on satisfying personal needs, claiming well-being and freedom.
It is therefore necessary to learn to move from a parent/child mode of collaboration to an adult/adult mode, where each person feels responsible for what happens to them, approaches subjects objectively, and takes their environment into account in their positions and suggestions for improvement.
Since it is difficult to ask the employee to take the initiative of this new posture, it is up to the system in which they evolve, represented by the manager, to encourage them and create the conditions for this new mode of collaboration.
While the manager has the responsibility, only the employee can choose to adopt this new attitude.
To achieve this, the manager will sometimes have to abandon their advisory role to take on the role of "coach", so as to develop learning and empowerment. For example, when an employee presents them with a problem, instead of providing a solution, they can encourage them to explore and find a solution themselves:
- "From your point of view, what is the origin of the problem you are encountering?"
- "Suggest at least three solutions to this problem."
- "Of these three solutions, which seems to you the fastest, simplest, and most realistic?"
If the employee refuses to answer these questions, they show that they wish to remain in their "child" posture. In this case, it will be necessary to let them know openly.
Recognize what is going well and discuss what could go even better
The other element that alters the quality of the relationship lies in the way in which we present the situation that poses a problem to us.
We advise managers to discuss the difficulty encountered by having, beforehand or at the same time, taken the time to present what is going well and to encourage their employees to do the same.
The relationship will be less tense and the energy focused on finding solutions because, from a certain point of view, there are no problems, but opportunities for learning and improvement.
Disagreement or misunderstanding?
Most tensions or conflicts are often the result of misunderstandings, misinterpretations, and rarely deep disagreements.
It is therefore important to verify that what seems to be a disagreement is not a misunderstanding. To do this, get into the habit of using active listening techniques:
- Questioning: "What do you mean by that? What does… mean to you?"
- Reformulation: "If I understand correctly, your problem is…. Is that right?"
This will avoid any risk of misinterpretation and you can concentrate, if it is indeed a disagreement, on finding solutions.
The art of not always being right
A very French characteristic: the manager must know everything and is always right. This way of thinking creates a relationship that can alter the relationship and cause the feeling of not being taken into consideration: "Anyway, it's no use talking to him, he's always right!"
In case of disagreement, start from the principle that you are not necessarily right to make room for exchange. Check that you have understood the other person's point of view to avoid misunderstandings. Look for several options with the person to select the most relevant.
Rest assured, seeking agreement does not necessarily mean finding it. Admit, however, that it is pleasant to feel listened to, and be certain that a person who feels heard will appreciate having been, whatever the outcome of their request.
According to some surveys, a person prefers to be told no than to have no answer to their questions. It is also said that a no gives value to a yes. It is just necessary that the refusal is argued in a factual and neutral manner.
We all have a share of responsibility in what happens to us in life
The most important of all the advice for establishing a positive and constructive relationship is to consider that everyone has a share of responsibility in what happens to them in life.
Each person is free to make their choices. However, it is important that they assume the consequences (adult posture).
Some will probably have understood this, the difficulty for a manager is not necessarily to adopt a new posture because they very quickly see the positive consequences. The real difficulty lies in getting their employee to "embrace" this system of thought and, subsequently, new behaviors.
There are several ways to get an employee to integrate this new attitude, including a rather innovative and effective one: having them participate in a training day where they will have to take on the role of manager. In this way, they can become aware of the difficulties of this responsibility, a kind of "live my life as a manager."
Francis Boyer.
Etre-bien-au-travail.fr
Posted online June 7, 2013.
One would think that the quality of the relationship rests entirely on the shoulders of the manager. And yet, doesn't the word "relationship" imply that there must be at least two people involved? What about the employee? Do they have a share of responsibility in the relationship they have with their manager?
We know the list of complaints made by employees towards their management:
- "We are always asked to do more with fewer resources."
- "I am asked to be versatile. I signed up for one job, not five!"
- "It's always the crisis's fault if I don't get a raise."
- "My boss keeps talking about what's wrong, never what's right."
It is rarer to read articles or discover surveys on the criticisms that managers could make of their employees. We therefore conducted a small survey and are providing you with the main testimonials:
- "In meetings, when I ask my employees to offer ideas, no one responds."
- "They don't dare admit their difficulties; they wait for us to tell them."
- "They withhold information from their colleagues because they are afraid of losing their power."
- "They criticize the ways of working, but they don't suggest anything to improve things."
Whether you are an employee or a manager, the natural tendency is to attribute the responsibility for collaboration difficulties to others: "It's not me, it's the other person."
When questioning two protagonists who have difficulty getting along, it is often found that they are each partly right and wrong. Building positive and constructive relationships requires that each stakeholder wants to.
To do so, it is important to understand the mechanisms that cause tensions, as well as the postures to adopt to establish serene and constructive relationships.
"I am not your father, you are not my children, we are all adults."
The ways in which companies are organized inherently create a parent/child relationship. The manager must know everything, define the rules of operation, set objectives, evaluate results, and award rewards. They thus adopt the posture of a parent.
The employee, for their part, must respect what the manager asks them to do. This is what is specified in their employment contract. They are therefore positioned by default in a childlike posture.
While this mode of collaboration makes perfect sense in a society based on the unconditional respect of rules of life defined by authority, it becomes ineffective in a world focused on satisfying personal needs, claiming well-being and freedom.
It is therefore necessary to learn to move from a parent/child mode of collaboration to an adult/adult mode, where each person feels responsible for what happens to them, approaches subjects objectively, and takes their environment into account in their positions and suggestions for improvement.
Since it is difficult to ask the employee to take the initiative of this new posture, it is up to the system in which they evolve, represented by the manager, to encourage them and create the conditions for this new mode of collaboration.
While the manager has the responsibility, only the employee can choose to adopt this new attitude.
To achieve this, the manager will sometimes have to abandon their advisory role to take on the role of "coach", so as to develop learning and empowerment. For example, when an employee presents them with a problem, instead of providing a solution, they can encourage them to explore and find a solution themselves:
- "From your point of view, what is the origin of the problem you are encountering?"
- "Suggest at least three solutions to this problem."
- "Of these three solutions, which seems to you the fastest, simplest, and most realistic?"
If the employee refuses to answer these questions, they show that they wish to remain in their "child" posture. In this case, it will be necessary to let them know openly.
Recognize what is going well and discuss what could go even better
The other element that alters the quality of the relationship lies in the way in which we present the situation that poses a problem to us.
We advise managers to discuss the difficulty encountered by having, beforehand or at the same time, taken the time to present what is going well and to encourage their employees to do the same.
The relationship will be less tense and the energy focused on finding solutions because, from a certain point of view, there are no problems, but opportunities for learning and improvement.
Disagreement or misunderstanding?
Most tensions or conflicts are often the result of misunderstandings, misinterpretations, and rarely deep disagreements.
It is therefore important to verify that what seems to be a disagreement is not a misunderstanding. To do this, get into the habit of using active listening techniques:
- Questioning: "What do you mean by that? What does… mean to you?"
- Reformulation: "If I understand correctly, your problem is…. Is that right?"
This will avoid any risk of misinterpretation and you can concentrate, if it is indeed a disagreement, on finding solutions.
The art of not always being right
A very French characteristic: the manager must know everything and is always right. This way of thinking creates a relationship that can alter the relationship and cause the feeling of not being taken into consideration: "Anyway, it's no use talking to him, he's always right!"
In case of disagreement, start from the principle that you are not necessarily right to make room for exchange. Check that you have understood the other person's point of view to avoid misunderstandings. Look for several options with the person to select the most relevant.
Rest assured, seeking agreement does not necessarily mean finding it. Admit, however, that it is pleasant to feel listened to, and be certain that a person who feels heard will appreciate having been, whatever the outcome of their request.
According to some surveys, a person prefers to be told no than to have no answer to their questions. It is also said that a no gives value to a yes. It is just necessary that the refusal is argued in a factual and neutral manner.
We all have a share of responsibility in what happens to us in life
The most important of all the advice for establishing a positive and constructive relationship is to consider that everyone has a share of responsibility in what happens to them in life.
Each person is free to make their choices. However, it is important that they assume the consequences (adult posture).
Some will probably have understood this, the difficulty for a manager is not necessarily to adopt a new posture because they very quickly see the positive consequences. The real difficulty lies in getting their employee to "embrace" this system of thought and, subsequently, new behaviors.
There are several ways to get an employee to integrate this new attitude, including a rather innovative and effective one: having them participate in a training day where they will have to take on the role of manager. In this way, they can become aware of the difficulties of this responsibility, a kind of "live my life as a manager."
Francis Boyer.
Etre-bien-au-travail.fr
Posted online June 7, 2013.
