Toxic Personalities
7 May 2012
Read by 1480 persons
Toxic people are those who drain your energy and consume you to your roots. Those who never encourage you and keep you dependent. Those who kick you instead of supporting you. Those who always see the glass half empty and darken your horizon. Those who take your time and steal your dreams...
It is surprising to talk about toxicity in relation to a person. Yet, we are all confronted with this latent poison, difficult to unmask, which we prefer to endure rather than confront out of habit or fear of change.
Knowing yourself to value yourself and others
All personalities are potentially good. They have been known and described since time immemorial by philosophers, religious figures and more recently by psychologists.
Each person can discover their own, particularly by taking a personality test. HR managers, recruiters and "profilers" are fond of them to better understand those they deal with. But it is interesting to note that for each of us, it is sometimes difficult to find the right words to talk about ourselves.
However, choosing your soulmate or, more prosaically, your professional orientation presupposes, at a minimum, a good self-knowledge, that is to say, of your talents or preferences. A good understanding of your own personality is the first step towards understanding and valuing your potential, and thus developing in a harmonious way.
Indeed, our vision of the outside world is only a reflection of our inner world. And if we don't feel good about the outside world, it's because our inner world is polluted by negative thoughts.
The beneficial impact of positive thinking
Toxic people are easily recognizable, within minutes. It is possible to identify them through the words they use to describe their vision of the world: problem, problematic, fear, lack, give up, incapable, impossible... Where it would be just as easy to use their positive sides such as: solution, confidence, win, find, capable, possible... It would therefore be appropriate for them to question their mental approach and energize their vision of the world by cultivating positive thoughts.
Negative thoughts can also affect the emotional quotient of each person. A quotient that is measured on 5 axes: the degree of optimism, empathy, serenity, self-control and sense of reality.
What to think of a person whose level is low on these 5 axes? Namely defeatist, indifferent, anxious, impulsive and idealistic. These people will unconsciously choose the wrong actions and wrong answers to the questions raised in their work or personal life. Are they therefore toxic? They are potentially toxic to themselves and to others. They are actually suffering and are not aware of it. They will therefore not be able to commit or act, let alone formulate a success plan or be happy.
Banning "non-existence injunctions"
There are other toxic behaviors that we all experience: behaviors conditioned by failure and leading to the destruction of value. These are the "non-existence" injunctions that dictate our behavior in a Pavlovian way, such as: "hurry up", "please me", "be perfect", "make an effort"... They send us false promises such as: "you will be able to do anything", "you will be able to please everyone", "perfection is of this world", "you will succeed through effort".
Whereas the authorizations that one could give oneself with confidence and good conscience would be: "manage your time", "please yourself too", "be realistic", "succeed to your own measure".
Unmasking manipulators
People who manipulate others to achieve their ends are also toxic.
For example, a person who spends their time condemning others exempts themselves from examining themselves.
Similarly, a person who plays "the bird of ill omen" brings bad luck to those around them. And, as soon as a problem arises, they will always end up making their gloomy predictions seem like clairvoyance by exclaiming "I told you so!".
A person who victimizes themselves and spends their time complaining is a real "black hole". They devote their time and consume that of others to what doesn't work, instead of using their energy in the service of what could be improved. The victim position is often used when they want to attract attention. For example, chronic latecomers belong to this category: they will take turns justifying themselves, blaming public transport, complaining about their bad luck, thus further aggravating the initial time loss.
The importance of values
We will conclude with highly toxic people because they are destructive. These are those who lack values. The dictionary definition of values is: "what is posited as true, beautiful, good, according to personal or social criteria, and serves as a reference, a moral principle". Today, individuals boast of displaying values as self-evident positive signs. However, people who truly hold values do not talk about them much, but they can be discovered through their actions and behaviors. It is thus easy to distinguish personalities who do not have them by paying attention to their words, actions and gestures: people without law or faith, ready to do anything to achieve their ends, aggressive...
In conclusion, 4 pieces of advice
- The first is to know yourself well in order to focus on your innate or acquired skills, to move forward with confidence and to deploy the necessary efforts.
- The second is to learn to know other personalities well in order to discover their full potential, but also to distinguish those with toxic connotations. In this way, you will be able to choose those who will help you build a harmonious development plan.
- The third is to remember that toxic people only have the power we lend them, namely being afraid of them and resenting them. These are most often people who are suffering.
- The fourth is to always have a positive outlook on yourself, others and the world in general. Your positive spirit, your energy and that of the universe will be in a better position to satisfy your desires.
Joëlle Durieux.
Etre-bien-au-travail.fr
Posted online May 7, 2012.
It is surprising to talk about toxicity in relation to a person. Yet, we are all confronted with this latent poison, difficult to unmask, which we prefer to endure rather than confront out of habit or fear of change.
Knowing yourself to value yourself and others
All personalities are potentially good. They have been known and described since time immemorial by philosophers, religious figures and more recently by psychologists.
Each person can discover their own, particularly by taking a personality test. HR managers, recruiters and "profilers" are fond of them to better understand those they deal with. But it is interesting to note that for each of us, it is sometimes difficult to find the right words to talk about ourselves.
However, choosing your soulmate or, more prosaically, your professional orientation presupposes, at a minimum, a good self-knowledge, that is to say, of your talents or preferences. A good understanding of your own personality is the first step towards understanding and valuing your potential, and thus developing in a harmonious way.
Indeed, our vision of the outside world is only a reflection of our inner world. And if we don't feel good about the outside world, it's because our inner world is polluted by negative thoughts.
The beneficial impact of positive thinking
Toxic people are easily recognizable, within minutes. It is possible to identify them through the words they use to describe their vision of the world: problem, problematic, fear, lack, give up, incapable, impossible... Where it would be just as easy to use their positive sides such as: solution, confidence, win, find, capable, possible... It would therefore be appropriate for them to question their mental approach and energize their vision of the world by cultivating positive thoughts.
Negative thoughts can also affect the emotional quotient of each person. A quotient that is measured on 5 axes: the degree of optimism, empathy, serenity, self-control and sense of reality.
What to think of a person whose level is low on these 5 axes? Namely defeatist, indifferent, anxious, impulsive and idealistic. These people will unconsciously choose the wrong actions and wrong answers to the questions raised in their work or personal life. Are they therefore toxic? They are potentially toxic to themselves and to others. They are actually suffering and are not aware of it. They will therefore not be able to commit or act, let alone formulate a success plan or be happy.
Banning "non-existence injunctions"
There are other toxic behaviors that we all experience: behaviors conditioned by failure and leading to the destruction of value. These are the "non-existence" injunctions that dictate our behavior in a Pavlovian way, such as: "hurry up", "please me", "be perfect", "make an effort"... They send us false promises such as: "you will be able to do anything", "you will be able to please everyone", "perfection is of this world", "you will succeed through effort".
Whereas the authorizations that one could give oneself with confidence and good conscience would be: "manage your time", "please yourself too", "be realistic", "succeed to your own measure".
Unmasking manipulators
People who manipulate others to achieve their ends are also toxic.
For example, a person who spends their time condemning others exempts themselves from examining themselves.
Similarly, a person who plays "the bird of ill omen" brings bad luck to those around them. And, as soon as a problem arises, they will always end up making their gloomy predictions seem like clairvoyance by exclaiming "I told you so!".
A person who victimizes themselves and spends their time complaining is a real "black hole". They devote their time and consume that of others to what doesn't work, instead of using their energy in the service of what could be improved. The victim position is often used when they want to attract attention. For example, chronic latecomers belong to this category: they will take turns justifying themselves, blaming public transport, complaining about their bad luck, thus further aggravating the initial time loss.
The importance of values
We will conclude with highly toxic people because they are destructive. These are those who lack values. The dictionary definition of values is: "what is posited as true, beautiful, good, according to personal or social criteria, and serves as a reference, a moral principle". Today, individuals boast of displaying values as self-evident positive signs. However, people who truly hold values do not talk about them much, but they can be discovered through their actions and behaviors. It is thus easy to distinguish personalities who do not have them by paying attention to their words, actions and gestures: people without law or faith, ready to do anything to achieve their ends, aggressive...
In conclusion, 4 pieces of advice
- The first is to know yourself well in order to focus on your innate or acquired skills, to move forward with confidence and to deploy the necessary efforts.
- The second is to learn to know other personalities well in order to discover their full potential, but also to distinguish those with toxic connotations. In this way, you will be able to choose those who will help you build a harmonious development plan.
- The third is to remember that toxic people only have the power we lend them, namely being afraid of them and resenting them. These are most often people who are suffering.
- The fourth is to always have a positive outlook on yourself, others and the world in general. Your positive spirit, your energy and that of the universe will be in a better position to satisfy your desires.
Joëlle Durieux.
Etre-bien-au-travail.fr
Posted online May 7, 2012.
