The Toltec Agreements, an easy code of conduct...
18 January 2018
Read by 2826 persons
The Four Toltec Agreements, the path to personal freedom, Miguel Ruiz's book, (Jouvence, "Poches", 2005) is now famous.
It is, in fact, a kind of psychological memo, a kind of code of conduct, to be applied within the social world and our relationships, the goal being openly to allow us to access deep mental serenity.
Utopia? Probably... But let's try anyway! And let's try to apply some advice, strong points, to this merciless world of Business...
1st agreement: What I say
This first agreement is, without a doubt, the one that requires the most strength on the part of the apprentice: it requires speaking with integrity, sincerity, simplicity, honesty. To say what we think, without detours or complications, without unspoken words, to protect ourselves from various and varied rejections.
Speech should not be used against oneself, nor to speak ill of others. It must be considered as a tool of clarification, of enlightenment on others, of light, antithesis of darkness, and of the complexity of human emotions and relationships.
It is good to recognize that, too often, we formulate, issue judgments, and this little judge within us, aggressive, guilt-inducing, places biased data on ourselves and on others. It is then useless to be surprised to see a quantity of conflicts, creaks and mistrust arise…
Thus, in life, as in business, let us remember to "turn our tongue seven times in our mouth before speaking".
Indeed, when we take the time for reflection and the indulgence of non-judgment, our words gain weight and then have every chance of being just or of approaching a certain justice.
2nd agreement: What I observe
By respecting the first Toltec agreement, we will have already done half the way. But let's continue!
With the second, it is a question of stopping taking everything personally, understanding everything and taking everything for oneself!
Let's start by taking ourselves less seriously and stop thinking that everything that happens concerns us directly or indirectly, openly or implicitly.
Let's think about remembering that what others say and do is only a projection of their own reality, their dreams, their anxieties, their temperament and experiences. And let's not attach it to us, to what we are or have, or try to be.
Then aware of this reality, we avoid unnecessary suffering and begin a process of letting go that allows us to really hear the other, to understand him better, thereby developing healthier and more serene relationships.
3rd agreement: What I think
We have also become masters in the art of assumptions which, over time, end up becoming well-established beliefs, the most common being to believe that others think in the same way as we do, that they function according to our rules, emotional and active.
That's false! By stopping this dangerous game of assumptions, of what we think is the other's truth, we sometimes simply discover a hypothesis or a mistaken way of thinking.
Here, it is a question of having the intellectual honesty to ask and to ask the right questions to the people concerned instead of suppositions and perfectly dubious answers, since they are imagined by us and not directly from the interlocutor.
Speaking, daring to say, communicating clearly with others to avoid sadness, misunderstandings, and unnecessary dramas, this is the solution proposed by Miguel Ruiz.
4th agreement: What I do
The fourth agreement is the pillar of our change since it is that of action. Action as a supreme value, as a determinant of almost everything. This agreement is the one that allows us to implement the other three, to make them habits of every moment, new behavioral patterns.
Let's focus on the present and the real and stop the assumptions and projections!
Let us be wholly absorbed by what we are doing to be present to the world and to ourselves, to do well and, whatever the circumstances, let us act to the best of our ability, with what we are. Without judgments, without assumptions.
5th agreement: What I perceive
This last Toltec agreement urges us to adopt a posture of deep listening and to launch a real questioning within ourselves about all the truths thought, stemming from our internal dialogue or that of others, this principle feeding all the others.
Let us use our capacity for doubt and questioning in order to better perceive the intention behind the word, the essential message that the other is trying to deliver to us, beyond his clumsiness and shyness…
By learning to put these four Agreements into action, we act on 80% of our limiting beliefs and are finally able to transform our bad relational habits.
We have everything to gain. Our company too!
Philippe Montant
CEO ReKrute
It is, in fact, a kind of psychological memo, a kind of code of conduct, to be applied within the social world and our relationships, the goal being openly to allow us to access deep mental serenity.
Utopia? Probably... But let's try anyway! And let's try to apply some advice, strong points, to this merciless world of Business...
1st agreement: What I say
This first agreement is, without a doubt, the one that requires the most strength on the part of the apprentice: it requires speaking with integrity, sincerity, simplicity, honesty. To say what we think, without detours or complications, without unspoken words, to protect ourselves from various and varied rejections.
Speech should not be used against oneself, nor to speak ill of others. It must be considered as a tool of clarification, of enlightenment on others, of light, antithesis of darkness, and of the complexity of human emotions and relationships.
It is good to recognize that, too often, we formulate, issue judgments, and this little judge within us, aggressive, guilt-inducing, places biased data on ourselves and on others. It is then useless to be surprised to see a quantity of conflicts, creaks and mistrust arise…
Thus, in life, as in business, let us remember to "turn our tongue seven times in our mouth before speaking".
Indeed, when we take the time for reflection and the indulgence of non-judgment, our words gain weight and then have every chance of being just or of approaching a certain justice.
2nd agreement: What I observe
By respecting the first Toltec agreement, we will have already done half the way. But let's continue!
With the second, it is a question of stopping taking everything personally, understanding everything and taking everything for oneself!
Let's start by taking ourselves less seriously and stop thinking that everything that happens concerns us directly or indirectly, openly or implicitly.
Let's think about remembering that what others say and do is only a projection of their own reality, their dreams, their anxieties, their temperament and experiences. And let's not attach it to us, to what we are or have, or try to be.
Then aware of this reality, we avoid unnecessary suffering and begin a process of letting go that allows us to really hear the other, to understand him better, thereby developing healthier and more serene relationships.
3rd agreement: What I think
We have also become masters in the art of assumptions which, over time, end up becoming well-established beliefs, the most common being to believe that others think in the same way as we do, that they function according to our rules, emotional and active.
That's false! By stopping this dangerous game of assumptions, of what we think is the other's truth, we sometimes simply discover a hypothesis or a mistaken way of thinking.
Here, it is a question of having the intellectual honesty to ask and to ask the right questions to the people concerned instead of suppositions and perfectly dubious answers, since they are imagined by us and not directly from the interlocutor.
Speaking, daring to say, communicating clearly with others to avoid sadness, misunderstandings, and unnecessary dramas, this is the solution proposed by Miguel Ruiz.
4th agreement: What I do
The fourth agreement is the pillar of our change since it is that of action. Action as a supreme value, as a determinant of almost everything. This agreement is the one that allows us to implement the other three, to make them habits of every moment, new behavioral patterns.
Let's focus on the present and the real and stop the assumptions and projections!
Let us be wholly absorbed by what we are doing to be present to the world and to ourselves, to do well and, whatever the circumstances, let us act to the best of our ability, with what we are. Without judgments, without assumptions.
5th agreement: What I perceive
This last Toltec agreement urges us to adopt a posture of deep listening and to launch a real questioning within ourselves about all the truths thought, stemming from our internal dialogue or that of others, this principle feeding all the others.
Let us use our capacity for doubt and questioning in order to better perceive the intention behind the word, the essential message that the other is trying to deliver to us, beyond his clumsiness and shyness…
By learning to put these four Agreements into action, we act on 80% of our limiting beliefs and are finally able to transform our bad relational habits.
We have everything to gain. Our company too!
Philippe Montant
CEO ReKrute
