Flourishing at Work
8 May 2013
Read by 1611 persons
We spend at least thirty-five hours a week there. Often in stress, sometimes in frustration. Yet, this place of constraints can become a place of fulfillment, say Pierre Blanc-Sahnoun and Eric Albert. Testimonials and advice to change your mind without changing employers.
The experts
Pierre Blanc-Sahnoun is a coach. Trained in cognitive and behavioral psychotherapy, he heads the Compagnie des coachs and is a full member of the Société française de coaching. Latest work published: Business Blues (Editions d'Organisation, 2004). He answers the Internet users of Psychologies.com every month.
Eric Albert is a psychiatrist, consultant and trainer. He is the creator of IFAS (French Institute for Action on Stress). Latest work published: "Anxiety in everyday life", with Laurent Chneiweiss (Odile Jacob, 2003).
Wanting to be happy at work is a curious aspiration, if one refers to the Latin etymology of the word, tripalium, which designated an instrument of torture. "Since Adam and Eve were driven from paradise and condemned to earn their bread by the sweat of their brow, work has always been perceived as a curse," summarizes coach Pierre Blanc-Sahnoun. "For most people on the planet, the question of being happy at work does not arise," he notes. "Today, we already rejoice when we have a job."
Is this an invitation to resign when one suffers from holding an uninteresting position? "Not at all. Having the possibility of being demanding about one's career is a real progress. Simply, we progress all the better by being realistic." In other words, by ceasing to believe that "the job I don't do is necessarily more interesting than mine," as psychiatrist Eric Albert observes through the recurring complaints of his clients. How to improve one's lot without starting from scratch? The advice of our two specialists.
My vocation? What vocation?
At the beginning of a coaching process, a question often comes up: "I would like to know what job I am made for."
For Pierre Blanc-Sahnoun, "vocation does not exist, it is a misrepresentation". Certainly, we all know someone who assures us that they have always wanted to be a doctor, an actor or a firefighter. "Nothing mystical about that," assures the coach. "It's just a strategy that we create to be able to exist psychologically in our family." Wanting to do such a job guarantees me the recognition of my relatives or allows me, conversely, to come into conflict with them, the job being only a pretext for a deeper conflict. "Vocation," continues the coach, "often corresponds to the displacement of the desire for a forbidden object towards a job in which it can be expressed."
In short, for lack of being able to love dad, we love the job he loves. "Vocation is often built in response to the distress of a family member, whom one imagines caring for by doing that job."
Analyzing your needs...
You don't have a vocation?
Don't despair, you may be less neurotic than others. Rather than struggling to track down a vocation you don't possess, it is better to think about your own representation of professional fulfillment. "When we think about it, we summon family imagery: what our family has taught us to see as a successful professional life," comments Pierre Blanc-Sahnoun. "And what is funny is that the criteria of success that we aim for are most often those that characterized the job... of a grandparent." The idea is not to free oneself from this imagery, but to understand that it weighs on us in order to be able to decide to take it over or to abandon it to those who transmitted it to us.
From our representation of professional success flows a series of needs. For some, it will be a question of doing a useful job, of being recognized for their devotion to the task. Others will aspire to be independent, to exercise their creativity or to work in urgency. We know these needs intuitively, but we rarely take the time to formalize them. Yet, it is enough to make a list of "I like/I don't like" to see them appear. On paper, we will write down anything and everything, then we will try to find out what each element covers in terms of needs. For example, if we like the mountains, we can imagine ourselves skiing down a slope or walking on isolated paths. In the first case, it may mean that we need to be admired for our prowess, in the second, that we need solitude. It is up to each person to interpret their list according to their personality.
...and accepting to give them up
When our professional occupation respects most of our needs, we feel in a state of fluidity and well-being. Our tasks and professional relationships seem easy and pleasant. But if they are frustrated, we enter a state of stress. "This is why it is important to give oneself the right to satisfy them and to think regularly - since they change according to the stages of our existence - about the arrangements that could be made to increase our satisfaction," recommends Pierre Blanc-Sahnoun.
This is the general principle. Then, of course, we must negotiate with the constraints of reality. For example, one may aspire to take on more responsibilities, but it will be difficult to also claim more free time. This is why Eric Albert insists on "the importance of accepting the fact that one can never have everything," job security and freedom, more power and more friends... "Being well in one's work," adds the psychiatrist, "is also to get out once and for all of the ambivalence that consists of wanting one thing and its opposite. If we don't want to be constantly frustrated or torn, we must be able to renounce peacefully to realize some of our desires."
Defining the unacceptable
It is therefore a question of setting limits to one's demands in order to better enjoy what one obtains. "It is also important to define what one is not prepared to accept in terms of working conditions, tasks or human relations," recommends Eric Albert. In this respect, in addition to the needs specific to each individual, there are relatively universal needs. "It is the need for us to be told what our work is for and what it consists of, precisely and without contradictory injunctions," lists Pierre Blanc-Sahnoun. "But also the need to be recognized, which implies in particular having a place of one's own, being told good morning in the morning, being congratulated from time to time."
Each person should add the conditions that seem essential to them. Let us mention, among others, the fact of being solicited at the level of one's skills, of not being pushed to act against one's values, the possibility of progressing or traveling...
Fighting stress...
We now know that stress arises when one of our fundamental needs is not met. What to do? "There are several solutions," proposes Eric Albert. "To resign - at one's own expense -, to fight or to leave." If you choose to fight, it is better to act before overwork makes you chain errors and conflicts and that it leads to dismissal or illness. "Unless you are dealing with a difficult person, it is always constructive to ask for an appointment with your superiors to take stock," suggests Pierre Blanc-Sahnoun. "We take the opportunity to establish a relationship contract, which we will review regularly." It is a question, for both parties, of defining what each expects from the other: more support, involvement, room for maneuver...
"On this occasion, each person will say what they can contribute more, but also what they cannot give. This approach helps to clear up misunderstandings, since very often we give to the other what we ourselves need, without really knowing it." For example, a department head who likes to be encouraged will regularly come to look at the work of one of his collaborators, who, for his part, will have the unpleasant impression that he is not trusted... "Stress is inherent in working conditions since it is up to the company to be competitive, so to ask the employee to produce as much as possible," notes Eric Albert. "In this respect, the best thing is to admit with detachment that one will not necessarily be able to do everything."
...and boredom
As painful as stress, boredom does not only arise when one has nothing to do. It is linked to a lack of motivation which can have several causes: the repetitive nature of the task, its lack of a priori interest or the little consideration one has for the company in which one works. Apart from this last case, it is always possible to regain enthusiasm for the task without having to leave the company. "The important thing is to get out of the myth that there are more interesting jobs than others," affirms Eric Albert. "No work is interesting - or uninteresting - in itself. What is interesting is the way to approach it."
To get out of boredom, it is first necessary to get out of the position of passivity in which one finds oneself and to (re)become creative in relation to the task entrusted to us. "We can always produce intelligence on our work, find another way of doing it, faster, less absurd or even more aesthetic," encourages the coach. "The first thing is to see what we can act on to find interest in what we do. And the second is to "challenge" our hierarchy." That is to say, tell them: "Let me show you what I am capable of or try something else."
Sometimes, we have to face the evidence. We no longer find our account in the position we occupy, nothing can be improved anymore and there is only one solution: to leave. Not easy in the current context. "We must never lose sight of what makes us desirable in the eyes of a potential employer," warns Pierre Blanc-Sahnoun. The idea is to be able to, throughout one's career, answer the following questions: does the company have more interest in keeping me or replacing me? What are my strengths? my level of conformity to the values of the company? my prospects for evolution?
"What makes us desirable," adds Eric Albert, "is a mixture of human and technical factors: the fact of being pleasant, reliable or creative; that of being performing, keeping informed, knowing the most recent tools or an additional language." So many elements that will allow us to keep a certain freedom of movement on the job market. "Those who dare to leave a position that no longer suits them gain a huge sense of freedom and narcissistic restructuring," assures Eric Albert. Because professional life is an eternal recommencement.
Testimonials
Eric Lepleux, senior executive of an airline company, 38 years old
"A job should not be just a professional occupation, we spend a large part of our lives there! I therefore strive to instill in my teams the idea of an added soul disconnected from pure performance. After several years spent abroad, I find myself facing a new challenge: to explore new countries and new markets. This corresponds to my conception of personal fulfillment: to open oneself to the unknown, to novelty, to adventure..."
Christian Breton, perfumer, 63 years old
"For me, fulfillment at work is impossible without passion and dreams! We must dream of what we will do tomorrow, dream of our personal evolution, of the leisure activities that our work will provide us with. Working has become a luxury and unfortunately represents the dream of many. In a particularly difficult economic period, the fact of thinking every day about those who are unemployed can be a recipe for fulfillment for those who may not have had the chance to choose their professional path."
Béatrice Mariotti, CEO and creative director of a design agency, 47 years old
"I have always positioned myself as being passionate about my work. Another way to flourish is to see one's talent recognized, as when we win a competition. I think that we should never try to achieve a goal of fulfillment, this notion is too unstable. But we must allow ourselves the possibility of putting ourselves in "fallow" to recharge outside the professional sphere, where competition and speed force us to be constantly on the alert."
Patrick Bitan, general practitioner, 50 years old
"I practice a profession that is rewarding, recognized and useful to society. Even if my hours are difficult, I never get bored. My great satisfaction is to see patients return, proof that trust has been established between us. Another reason for satisfaction: I am my own boss,
I really couldn't see myself bowing to hospital managers throughout my career! The downside: the inflation of administrative tasks, which take up time and energy."
Benoît Renard, ticket agent at RATP, 30 years old
"I have been working as a ticket agent at RATP for four years. I feel useful, at my level, to the smooth running and the reputation of my company. My job is very varied. Every day, we wonder what will happen. From the worst, suicides, to the best, human relationships. A downside: contact with users, too fleeting, and the fact that they are not always in a good mood."
Hélène Darroze, chef and restaurateur, 37 years old
"There is not a morning when I go to my restaurant reluctantly. The job I do is a job of sharing and giving, and giving and sharing is very fulfilling. It is the counterpart of an exhausting and stressful job. I can only fulfill myself in my profession by adopting a healthy lifestyle and exemplary discipline: sport with a coach, kinesiology and regular relaxing massages."
Laurence Lemoine.
Psychologies.com
Posted online on May 8, 2013.
The experts
Pierre Blanc-Sahnoun is a coach. Trained in cognitive and behavioral psychotherapy, he heads the Compagnie des coachs and is a full member of the Société française de coaching. Latest work published: Business Blues (Editions d'Organisation, 2004). He answers the Internet users of Psychologies.com every month.
Eric Albert is a psychiatrist, consultant and trainer. He is the creator of IFAS (French Institute for Action on Stress). Latest work published: "Anxiety in everyday life", with Laurent Chneiweiss (Odile Jacob, 2003).
Wanting to be happy at work is a curious aspiration, if one refers to the Latin etymology of the word, tripalium, which designated an instrument of torture. "Since Adam and Eve were driven from paradise and condemned to earn their bread by the sweat of their brow, work has always been perceived as a curse," summarizes coach Pierre Blanc-Sahnoun. "For most people on the planet, the question of being happy at work does not arise," he notes. "Today, we already rejoice when we have a job."
Is this an invitation to resign when one suffers from holding an uninteresting position? "Not at all. Having the possibility of being demanding about one's career is a real progress. Simply, we progress all the better by being realistic." In other words, by ceasing to believe that "the job I don't do is necessarily more interesting than mine," as psychiatrist Eric Albert observes through the recurring complaints of his clients. How to improve one's lot without starting from scratch? The advice of our two specialists.
My vocation? What vocation?
At the beginning of a coaching process, a question often comes up: "I would like to know what job I am made for."
For Pierre Blanc-Sahnoun, "vocation does not exist, it is a misrepresentation". Certainly, we all know someone who assures us that they have always wanted to be a doctor, an actor or a firefighter. "Nothing mystical about that," assures the coach. "It's just a strategy that we create to be able to exist psychologically in our family." Wanting to do such a job guarantees me the recognition of my relatives or allows me, conversely, to come into conflict with them, the job being only a pretext for a deeper conflict. "Vocation," continues the coach, "often corresponds to the displacement of the desire for a forbidden object towards a job in which it can be expressed."
In short, for lack of being able to love dad, we love the job he loves. "Vocation is often built in response to the distress of a family member, whom one imagines caring for by doing that job."
Analyzing your needs...
You don't have a vocation?
Don't despair, you may be less neurotic than others. Rather than struggling to track down a vocation you don't possess, it is better to think about your own representation of professional fulfillment. "When we think about it, we summon family imagery: what our family has taught us to see as a successful professional life," comments Pierre Blanc-Sahnoun. "And what is funny is that the criteria of success that we aim for are most often those that characterized the job... of a grandparent." The idea is not to free oneself from this imagery, but to understand that it weighs on us in order to be able to decide to take it over or to abandon it to those who transmitted it to us.
From our representation of professional success flows a series of needs. For some, it will be a question of doing a useful job, of being recognized for their devotion to the task. Others will aspire to be independent, to exercise their creativity or to work in urgency. We know these needs intuitively, but we rarely take the time to formalize them. Yet, it is enough to make a list of "I like/I don't like" to see them appear. On paper, we will write down anything and everything, then we will try to find out what each element covers in terms of needs. For example, if we like the mountains, we can imagine ourselves skiing down a slope or walking on isolated paths. In the first case, it may mean that we need to be admired for our prowess, in the second, that we need solitude. It is up to each person to interpret their list according to their personality.
...and accepting to give them up
When our professional occupation respects most of our needs, we feel in a state of fluidity and well-being. Our tasks and professional relationships seem easy and pleasant. But if they are frustrated, we enter a state of stress. "This is why it is important to give oneself the right to satisfy them and to think regularly - since they change according to the stages of our existence - about the arrangements that could be made to increase our satisfaction," recommends Pierre Blanc-Sahnoun.
This is the general principle. Then, of course, we must negotiate with the constraints of reality. For example, one may aspire to take on more responsibilities, but it will be difficult to also claim more free time. This is why Eric Albert insists on "the importance of accepting the fact that one can never have everything," job security and freedom, more power and more friends... "Being well in one's work," adds the psychiatrist, "is also to get out once and for all of the ambivalence that consists of wanting one thing and its opposite. If we don't want to be constantly frustrated or torn, we must be able to renounce peacefully to realize some of our desires."
Defining the unacceptable
It is therefore a question of setting limits to one's demands in order to better enjoy what one obtains. "It is also important to define what one is not prepared to accept in terms of working conditions, tasks or human relations," recommends Eric Albert. In this respect, in addition to the needs specific to each individual, there are relatively universal needs. "It is the need for us to be told what our work is for and what it consists of, precisely and without contradictory injunctions," lists Pierre Blanc-Sahnoun. "But also the need to be recognized, which implies in particular having a place of one's own, being told good morning in the morning, being congratulated from time to time."
Each person should add the conditions that seem essential to them. Let us mention, among others, the fact of being solicited at the level of one's skills, of not being pushed to act against one's values, the possibility of progressing or traveling...
Fighting stress...
We now know that stress arises when one of our fundamental needs is not met. What to do? "There are several solutions," proposes Eric Albert. "To resign - at one's own expense -, to fight or to leave." If you choose to fight, it is better to act before overwork makes you chain errors and conflicts and that it leads to dismissal or illness. "Unless you are dealing with a difficult person, it is always constructive to ask for an appointment with your superiors to take stock," suggests Pierre Blanc-Sahnoun. "We take the opportunity to establish a relationship contract, which we will review regularly." It is a question, for both parties, of defining what each expects from the other: more support, involvement, room for maneuver...
"On this occasion, each person will say what they can contribute more, but also what they cannot give. This approach helps to clear up misunderstandings, since very often we give to the other what we ourselves need, without really knowing it." For example, a department head who likes to be encouraged will regularly come to look at the work of one of his collaborators, who, for his part, will have the unpleasant impression that he is not trusted... "Stress is inherent in working conditions since it is up to the company to be competitive, so to ask the employee to produce as much as possible," notes Eric Albert. "In this respect, the best thing is to admit with detachment that one will not necessarily be able to do everything."
...and boredom
As painful as stress, boredom does not only arise when one has nothing to do. It is linked to a lack of motivation which can have several causes: the repetitive nature of the task, its lack of a priori interest or the little consideration one has for the company in which one works. Apart from this last case, it is always possible to regain enthusiasm for the task without having to leave the company. "The important thing is to get out of the myth that there are more interesting jobs than others," affirms Eric Albert. "No work is interesting - or uninteresting - in itself. What is interesting is the way to approach it."
To get out of boredom, it is first necessary to get out of the position of passivity in which one finds oneself and to (re)become creative in relation to the task entrusted to us. "We can always produce intelligence on our work, find another way of doing it, faster, less absurd or even more aesthetic," encourages the coach. "The first thing is to see what we can act on to find interest in what we do. And the second is to "challenge" our hierarchy." That is to say, tell them: "Let me show you what I am capable of or try something else."
Sometimes, we have to face the evidence. We no longer find our account in the position we occupy, nothing can be improved anymore and there is only one solution: to leave. Not easy in the current context. "We must never lose sight of what makes us desirable in the eyes of a potential employer," warns Pierre Blanc-Sahnoun. The idea is to be able to, throughout one's career, answer the following questions: does the company have more interest in keeping me or replacing me? What are my strengths? my level of conformity to the values of the company? my prospects for evolution?
"What makes us desirable," adds Eric Albert, "is a mixture of human and technical factors: the fact of being pleasant, reliable or creative; that of being performing, keeping informed, knowing the most recent tools or an additional language." So many elements that will allow us to keep a certain freedom of movement on the job market. "Those who dare to leave a position that no longer suits them gain a huge sense of freedom and narcissistic restructuring," assures Eric Albert. Because professional life is an eternal recommencement.
Testimonials
Eric Lepleux, senior executive of an airline company, 38 years old
"A job should not be just a professional occupation, we spend a large part of our lives there! I therefore strive to instill in my teams the idea of an added soul disconnected from pure performance. After several years spent abroad, I find myself facing a new challenge: to explore new countries and new markets. This corresponds to my conception of personal fulfillment: to open oneself to the unknown, to novelty, to adventure..."
Christian Breton, perfumer, 63 years old
"For me, fulfillment at work is impossible without passion and dreams! We must dream of what we will do tomorrow, dream of our personal evolution, of the leisure activities that our work will provide us with. Working has become a luxury and unfortunately represents the dream of many. In a particularly difficult economic period, the fact of thinking every day about those who are unemployed can be a recipe for fulfillment for those who may not have had the chance to choose their professional path."
Béatrice Mariotti, CEO and creative director of a design agency, 47 years old
"I have always positioned myself as being passionate about my work. Another way to flourish is to see one's talent recognized, as when we win a competition. I think that we should never try to achieve a goal of fulfillment, this notion is too unstable. But we must allow ourselves the possibility of putting ourselves in "fallow" to recharge outside the professional sphere, where competition and speed force us to be constantly on the alert."
Patrick Bitan, general practitioner, 50 years old
"I practice a profession that is rewarding, recognized and useful to society. Even if my hours are difficult, I never get bored. My great satisfaction is to see patients return, proof that trust has been established between us. Another reason for satisfaction: I am my own boss,
I really couldn't see myself bowing to hospital managers throughout my career! The downside: the inflation of administrative tasks, which take up time and energy."
Benoît Renard, ticket agent at RATP, 30 years old
"I have been working as a ticket agent at RATP for four years. I feel useful, at my level, to the smooth running and the reputation of my company. My job is very varied. Every day, we wonder what will happen. From the worst, suicides, to the best, human relationships. A downside: contact with users, too fleeting, and the fact that they are not always in a good mood."
Hélène Darroze, chef and restaurateur, 37 years old
"There is not a morning when I go to my restaurant reluctantly. The job I do is a job of sharing and giving, and giving and sharing is very fulfilling. It is the counterpart of an exhausting and stressful job. I can only fulfill myself in my profession by adopting a healthy lifestyle and exemplary discipline: sport with a coach, kinesiology and regular relaxing massages."
Laurence Lemoine.
Psychologies.com
Posted online on May 8, 2013.
